Simona is a drunk

[Sin Studly]

At six o clock she does a shot
At six o five she does a shot
At ten past six she does a shot
She's just a drunk pisspot

At six fifteen she does a shot
At six twenty she does a shot
At quarter past she does a shot
And then she goes to work

She always shows up drunk to work
She always shows up drunk to meetings
She's far too drunk to keep a man
She'd just get drunk and give him beatings
She always showed up drunk to school
She always showed up drunk to church
She's always drunk around the house
She's just a fucking drunk

Always too drunk to drive a car
Always too drunk to take a bath
You'll always find her in the bar
Stinking of stale beer
Always too drunk to cook a meal
Always too drunk to watch a movie
She'll cheat and lie and beg and steal
So she can drink more beer

Simona is a stupid drunk
Simona is a stupid drunk
Simona is a stupid drunk
And she will die alone
She'll never find herself a man
She'll never raise a family
She'll die of hepatic failure
Before she's even thirty-three

Simona is a stupid drunk
Simona is a stupid drunk
Simona is a stupid drunk
And her folks regret her birth
They wish the condom didn't break
They wish they just had oral sex
They wish they had a clotheshanger
Cause she'll never move out

[Betty]

That is the most precious thing you've written yet.

[the_GoDdEsS]

Fuck you, bitch. I don't get drunk on piss beer. That's water. Vodka, absinthe and wine is where it's at.

[Sin Studly]

See what I mean?

[the_GoDdEsS]

I did not get any! :( :( :(

[nieh]

Fuck you, bitch. I don't get drunk on piss beer. That's water. Vodka, absinthe and wine is where it's at.

It's harder to find rhymes for vodka and absinthe than it is beer. Granted, the only time he rhymed beer with anything in this it was with itself, but stil.

[Sin Studly]

I couldn't think up anything to rhyme with "aspirate on her own vomit"

[Offspring7]

You could always switch the words around to make that rhyme.

[the_GoDdEsS]

I couldn't think up anything to rhyme with "aspirate on her own vomit"

I'm a Slav. I generally don't puke from alcohol. Happened twice in my life. Stop insulting me, proud white man.

[Italia311]

Hrm, my buddy is a SERB and he has SLAVA in january I think thats what its called. Anywho, I was there once and I drank this booze, and FUCK it was intense...I don't even remember whats its called though...crazy shit

[«_ºßäߥ_Ðëvilº_»]

I don't know why but the *at five o clock.....at five o five......* bit made me giggle.

[wheelchairman]

I'm a Slav. I generally don't puke from alcohol. Happened twice in my life. Stop insulting me, proud white man.
pfff Maartje outdrank you, that is the saddest event in drinking history.

[Izie]

Ahahahahahahaha she did?

Boo at Sim!

[wheelchairman]

Well that night, only Sim puked.

[Vera]

HOLY FUCK NO WAY.

I can literally feel the world around me collapsing.

[Izie]

Hahahahahahaha, that night was a fun night in general. I remember Sim telling me she puked and I was all *NOES*

[the_GoDdEsS]

Sure I did because I got drunk and then high. Duh. Did Tizz smoke as much pot/hash that night too? :P

[Izie]

I don't know, but you were funny. Out of more reasons than one. *giggle*

...oh and I was high like an idiot.

[wheelchairman]

Sure I did because I got drunk and then high. Duh. Did Tizz smoke as much pot/hash that night too? :P
she had quite a bit hashle :p

fuck we have to do that again, that was a good night.

oh noez nostalgia! let's meet in July!

[the_GoDdEsS]

Everybody start saving up.

[Izie]

Hah. We shall see.

[wheelchairman]

if I don't get a job by then (which would suck so much my balls would deflate) then I'll be there.

If I do, I'll be apartment searching, but that should be fine...

[Tizzalicious]

Squeeeee, we should have another meetup yeah!

And Iz, I outdrank you too!

[Vera]

Amsterdam is 200 euros away & I still owe Sunny much money, but I'll do my best...

[wheelchairman]

Vera, it'd be in teh summers :p

and if I get an apartment. It'll have to be in Copenhagen...

[Vera]

Yeah, but I'm not very good at saving money. :/

[Sin Studly]

My love for Simona and Ivana have now officially DIED!

[Vera]

*has died, "my love" =/= plural

[Sin Studly]

I'm part British, sue me.

And anyways, Sim tells me that Maartje didn't even drink more than she did, which is kinda the fundamental requirement of "outdrinking" somebody. Per and Maartje, fuck you. Don't be telling lies like that again.

[wheelchairman]

Maartje can't lie, it's a physical impossibility for her. While Sim is a slav and a peasant, and can totally lie....

[Sin Studly]

Shut the fuck up, liar. No Aryan can outdrink a Slav. I'll defend that statement with the blade and bullet, to my last blood-choked gasping breath. This is the type of filthy lie great nations would go to war over.