psych1980
09-13-2011, 03:24 PM
I have to tell you guys a bunch of stuff before I can get to the point. I'm sorry in advance if I start to ramble too much.
Last year, on July 26th my best friend, Keith Johnson hung himself from a bridge with a belt. It came on the back of a messy break up with the mother of his child and his dropping out of college. Keith was a part of my family, living in our basement after moving out of the place he had shared with his ex. We were trying to help him get back on his feet but what we didn't know was that he was attempting to self medicate by abusing prescription pain killers. The night he did it, he left a message on her phone and she called the cops worried he would do it. Keith was a bit of a drama queen from time to time and I honestly didn't think he would do anything like that. The cops came to me hoping I could get in touch with him. After numerous phone calls I did get him on the phone. I lectured him about not sending ominous text messages and told him if he was hurting to talk to one of the many people who cared about him, like me. He cried a bit on the phone and swore that everything was alright. According to the coroner, he likely killed himself minutes after hanging up with me. We know that I was the last person on this Earth he talked to. It was/is crushing. It's something that rips me apart to this day. He was 25.
A mutual friend of ours Patrick McDonald, who we called Punion, was a big part of what got me through those days. Punion was always the life of the party and hated to see anyone not having a good time. When Keith died, Punion was about a year and a half into a battle with a rare form of leukemia. Things were looking good, and Punion was young enough (24 years old) that it seemed perfectly reasonable that he would kick ass and take names, that he would be 100% in due time. Then, December of last year his health took a turn for the worse. While his immune system was pretty much non-existent he got an infection in his brain and died. I stumbled around, feeling so numb, so completely out of my mind with grief, having lost what were probably my two closest friends in less than six months.
Gone Away has allowed me to emotionally purge, to feel like I'm not crazy, to feel like I'm not alone in the way I feel. (I know I sound like some overly dramatic turd, I'm sure.) I can't think of words to better describe exactly how I feel, how I felt, that the lyrics to Gone Away.
The song makes me think of them both and how much I miss them. The pain never gets better. There will always be a huge empty place left from losing them. But little things help, little things like this song.
Thanks to the guys, if they read this forum.
Last year, on July 26th my best friend, Keith Johnson hung himself from a bridge with a belt. It came on the back of a messy break up with the mother of his child and his dropping out of college. Keith was a part of my family, living in our basement after moving out of the place he had shared with his ex. We were trying to help him get back on his feet but what we didn't know was that he was attempting to self medicate by abusing prescription pain killers. The night he did it, he left a message on her phone and she called the cops worried he would do it. Keith was a bit of a drama queen from time to time and I honestly didn't think he would do anything like that. The cops came to me hoping I could get in touch with him. After numerous phone calls I did get him on the phone. I lectured him about not sending ominous text messages and told him if he was hurting to talk to one of the many people who cared about him, like me. He cried a bit on the phone and swore that everything was alright. According to the coroner, he likely killed himself minutes after hanging up with me. We know that I was the last person on this Earth he talked to. It was/is crushing. It's something that rips me apart to this day. He was 25.
A mutual friend of ours Patrick McDonald, who we called Punion, was a big part of what got me through those days. Punion was always the life of the party and hated to see anyone not having a good time. When Keith died, Punion was about a year and a half into a battle with a rare form of leukemia. Things were looking good, and Punion was young enough (24 years old) that it seemed perfectly reasonable that he would kick ass and take names, that he would be 100% in due time. Then, December of last year his health took a turn for the worse. While his immune system was pretty much non-existent he got an infection in his brain and died. I stumbled around, feeling so numb, so completely out of my mind with grief, having lost what were probably my two closest friends in less than six months.
Gone Away has allowed me to emotionally purge, to feel like I'm not crazy, to feel like I'm not alone in the way I feel. (I know I sound like some overly dramatic turd, I'm sure.) I can't think of words to better describe exactly how I feel, how I felt, that the lyrics to Gone Away.
The song makes me think of them both and how much I miss them. The pain never gets better. There will always be a huge empty place left from losing them. But little things help, little things like this song.
Thanks to the guys, if they read this forum.