Mr. Duncan

[XYlophonetreeZ]

Mr. Duncan: pedophile, or no? I certainly always thought so. Ever since I was a kid. I was a fortunate enough kid to have never been a victim of pedophiles, but maybe that was because I could sense them. Because the very first time I saw Home Alone 2 (I think I was 8, maybe?) I KNEW something was way, way wrong with Mr. Duncan. Oh sure, it's never been "proven" that Mr. Duncan touched kids in all of their no-touch parts, but this isn't some seedy villain we're talking about, it's a jolly old man who works at a toy store and loves turtle doves- thus pointing to my acute ability to sniff these things out. But this thread isn't about me. It's about Mr. Duncan and what a creeper he was. So let's talk about that. First off, the guy works in a toy store. Too easy. Second, he doesn't seem to have any friends. He works at the checkout counter of a monstrous, FAO Schwarz style store that he OWNS. Must be a pretty lonely guy, huh? Wonder where you can satisfy that natural human urge for companionship when you work at a toy store? Third: that SMILE. How can it not creep you out? See the below exhibits for reference:

Exhibit A:
http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsB/1927-8695.gif

Exhibit B:
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/entries/icons/original/000/000/005/pedobear.jpg?1229148177

Exhibit C:
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/11/14/article-2061412-0ECC32B300000578-344_634x428.jpg

Fourth, the way he says "turtle doves" is absolutely haunting. As in, ring in a child's ears for days haunting. After being raped in the ass.
Exhibit D. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETaCTQ6rRg4)

Anyway, I think he actually may have been in a couple of my nightmares as a kid.

[bighead384]

Kevin:I can have two of them?
Mr.Duncan: Well...two turtle doves.

Kevin probably didn't even want one of them. They're fucking plastic birds for crying out loud. What kind of fun would a 9 year old have with plastic birds? We're talking about a rich kid whose wants BB Guns and fancy electronics (hence, the Talkboy)

Man you are fucking right about all this stuff. Duncan wanted Kevin to give him the other Turtle Dove.