Harry Potter fan commits suicide

[Unnatural Disaster]

A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.”

Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, “I no longer have a reason to live.”

Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston’s house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter – and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate.

“When Jude got that vanity license plate that said ‘Hogwarts,’ that seemed harmless enough,” said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. “But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help.”

According to friends of Mr. Ralston, the Potter fanatic had done everything in his power to protect himself from stumbling across Potter plot spoilers, even disconnecting his computer from the Internet and avoiding his favorite vintage comic book store.

Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston’s death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place.

“In my heart I believe that I could have saved Jude’s life, even if he didn’t have one,” she said.




Okay...........

[Preocupado]

Oh come on, that could happen to a Lord the rings fan trying to save the world by throwing himself and his lucky ring into a volcano or even with one offspring fan from this BBS who would try to... bleh.

[Preecey]

That's stupid. 32? Suicide? He deserved to die, in my opinion.

[Paint_It_Black]

“But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help.”


Awesome. Just...awesome.

[Conspiracy of One]

awesome...................

[Preecey]

Awesome. Just...awesome.
Yeah, I know I shouldn't, but I laughed at that bit.

[SkunkIt]

It is pretty funny that his whole life revolves around a book.

[Conspiracy of One]

AS did i................its funny hearing some of the purposes people committed suicide.

[offspring kid]

Fuckin good for nothing Fan.......sorry he dided

[SkunkIt]

“In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude’s life, even if he didn’t have one,” she said.Ha ha ha ha!

[Preocupado]

“But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help.”

A 32 year old wearing a wizard harry potter hat? Yeat, that seems like a screaming cry for help to get back to reality.

But then again, there's 30 yr old ppl who comunicate in some lenguage from Star Wars, and they'll still tell you that it's a way of being happy... Who could mess with that?

[notoriousdoc]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

[Preecey]

But then again, there's 30 yr old ppl who comunicate in some lenguage from Star Wars, and they'll still tell you that it's a way of being happy... Who could mess with that?
Wasn't that Star Trek? Heh, they made a dictionary for it, too.

[coke_a_holic]

...That's tragic on so many levels.

[Preocupado]

Wasn't that Star Trek? Heh, they made a dictionary for it, too.

Maybe, they're all from outter space anyways.

[Vera]

Link?

Just so I can link others to it without linking to the BBS.

[RXP]

That was like me last year when I heard the NHL season was canned.

Also the starter of the thread has a good taste in sigs.

[Tired_Of_You]

That was a joke. It didn't happen.

[Unnatural Disaster]

I don't know if it is or not. I found it on another message board...It is damn funny though

[Paint_It_Black]

That was a joke. It didn't happen.

I thought that was obvious from this:

“In my heart I believe that I could have saved Jude’s life, even if he didn’t have one,” she said.

[Tizzalicious]

I agree with paint_it_black, no one would say such a thing. It might be true, but no one in their right mind who knew the person would say that.

[Preocupado]

Unless the person who said that was another Harry Potter fan, continue the sage.

[Tired_Of_You]

I thought that was obvious from this:Yeah, I thought it was also obvious, but most of the people here thought it was true.

The guy who wrote that is a satirist or something.

[Tizzalicious]

I read another story like it though, that didn't have a weird thing like that in it. Maybe that one actually is true.

[Paint_It_Black]

Subtlety wouldn't be amusing if it was obvious to everyone. In fact, it wouldn't even be subtlety.

[sKratch]

Hahaha everyone who took this seriously, thanks. That was hilarious. How the fuck do you believe it when they say the government should restrict the flow of Harry Potter plot or whatever? And wearing a wizard hat around? God you're all fucking stupid.

[Preocupado]

hahaha damn, you idiot, it's quite easy to believe in the story since it is about someone in US.

[sKratch]

Oh the burn.
Yet you're the idiot who fell for an obviously false story?

[Preocupado]

Not "obviously" false for american behaviour

[0r4ng3]

He would've comitted suicide after the series was over, so it doesn't matter anyways.
That's what I found wrong with the whole story. Wouldn't he kill himself after reading the book? Why didn't he wait for the last book, even after hearing the spoiler of the 6th? Surely he knew there would be a 7th book.

[Sin Studly]

I was seriously considering suicide when all you morons took this seriously.

Tired_of_You, Tizzalicious and sKratch saved my life.

[JoY]

jaysus christ. the one who bought this one is seriously headfucked.

[Paint_It_Black]

I was seriously considering suicide when all you morons took this seriously.

Tired_of_You, Tizzalicious and sKratch saved my life.

Hey, I should be in the list too.

[Gone_AwayUK]

Is this a joke?

[0r4ng3]

Is this a joke?
Yes. Very Yes.

[TheUnholyNightbringer]

“In my heart I believe that I could have saved Jude’s life, even if he didn’t have one,” she said.

FUCKING CLASSIC.

[ShadowPyro]

Oh my fucking god.
That was so funny.

[Elmo Is My Father]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.... ..Thats just grand.

[sKratch]

I wonder how many "hahaha that's hilarious" replies would be "omg what a tool" etc if people hadn't pointed out it was a hoax ;[

[Conspiracy of One]

Who could seriously think that was real? I jus said its funny hearing why people commit suicide..........and it is sumtimes :D

[Paint_It_Black]

I wonder how many "hahaha that's hilarious" replies would be "omg what a tool" etc if people hadn't pointed out it was a hoax ;[

Many. If it gets enough replies we'll notice when people don't read them all and find out.

[Not Ozymandias]

FYI, last night I added to my Ignore List everyone who took this seriously.

[Conspiracy of One]

Just because of their stupidity?.................I like that :D

[Embodude2004]

i was sad about what happend in book six but my god what's wrong with him.

[Not Ozymandias]

This message is hidden because Embodude2004 is on your ignore list.

[Sunny]

i for one thought it actually happened, OMGZ OH NOEZZ IGNORE MEEE.

the obsessiveness of Harry Potter fans frightens me, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this actually happened. if you read all the posts that recently appeared on my lj friends list... "OMG PLEASE NO DONT SPOIL HARRY POTTER FOR ME PLEASE GOD NO WAHHHH"... you'd feel the same way.


wearing a wizard hat around town isn't that weird.. i see shit far weirder than that on a daily basis.

[kickass0987654321]

It's funny and sad.

[Conspiracy of One]

it Didnt Happen!!!!!!

[0r4ng3]

FYI, last night I added to my Ignore List everyone who took this seriously.
What, even me? I didn't take it seriously, I just pointed out things that made it obviously fake.

[Tired_Of_You]

it Didnt Happen!!!!!!Please die.

[sKratch]

i for one thought it actually happened, OMGZ OH NOEZZ IGNORE MEEE.

the obsessiveness of Harry Potter fans frightens me, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this actually happened. if you read all the posts that recently appeared on my lj friends list... "OMG PLEASE NO DONT SPOIL HARRY POTTER FOR ME PLEASE GOD NO WAHHHH"... you'd feel the same way.


wearing a wizard hat around town isn't that weird.. i see shit far weirder than that on a daily basis.
Come on,
Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston’s death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place.
is such obvious horseshit that even I, a fellow Polack, had the ding-ding-ding of the bullshit alarm filling my ear.

[original_prankster]

I knew that could NOT have been serious... I don't think anyone would be that stupid. I like Harry Potter. The books are pleasent, but I'm not obsessive over them.

[0r4ng3]

I knew that could NOT have been serious...
You'd be suprised.

[Not Ozymandias]

What, even me? I didn't take it seriously, I just pointed out things that made it obviously fake.
You're fine. For now.

[Not Ozymandias]

i for one thought it actually happened, OMGZ OH NOEZZ IGNORE MEEE.

the obsessiveness of Harry Potter fans frightens me, and I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if this actually happened. if you read all the posts that recently appeared on my lj friends list... "OMG PLEASE NO DONT SPOIL HARRY POTTER FOR ME PLEASE GOD NO WAHHHH"... you'd feel the same way.


wearing a wizard hat around town isn't that weird.. i see shit far weirder than that on a daily basis.
Don't make me take off my sneaker...

[Paint_It_Black]

I had no problem believing someone could be pathetic enough to kill themselves for something like this. But no one, no one at all would then talk about saving that persons life "even if he didn't have one". No one would say that, and if somehow somebody did, no one would quote it in an article. That's the only reason I didn't believe it.

[Not Ozymandias]

I had no problem believing someone could be pathetic enough to kill themselves for something like this. But no one, no one at all would then talk about saving that persons life "even if he didn't have one". No one would say that, and if somehow somebody did, no one would quote it in an article. That's the only reason I didn't believe it.
Remember what our first fight was about?

*purrs*

[sKratch]

Cats? Or CATS? How are you gentlemen !

[JoY]

Cats? Or CATS? How are you gentlemen !
.....THAT must've been a lame argument.

[Paint_It_Black]

Remember what our first fight was about?

*purrs*

No clue. I'm mildly curious now.

[Not Ozymandias]

The Harry Potter books. You were slagging them and saying it doesn't compare to Pratchet.

[Paint_It_Black]

Hahaha, is that where it started? Well, anyway, you caught me at an awkward time back then. I like to think I only make a fool of myself in private now. That must have been at least a couple of years ago? I'm surprised you remember me at all, never mind remember me that well. Hmmm, that's an impression I would prefer not to have made. I had wondered if this user name was actually you. At first I assumed it must be, but there seemed to be a definite lack of 'clown shoes' comments.

[kickass0987654321]

Damn I'm such an asshole for believing that.