Sin Studly
03-27-2006, 06:48 AM
So anyways, I arrange to meet up with a chick I haven't seen for over a year. She stopped talking to me because I did something horrible to her, I was drunk and don't remember, she remembers and won't tell me. Whatever.
She brings some pretty-boy bitch with her, to try and make me jealous, so I have a split second to size up the situation before giving my 'initial reaction'. Since I'm not that brilliant, I immediately launch into a facade of being pleased to see her, pleased to see him too, a friend of hers is a friend of mine sorta shit.
During that, I size up the situation. I go by instinct, and I decide that he desperately wants to bone her and she has no interest in him, but desperately wants to bone me. Incidently, i have no interest in boning her, but nobody gets away with trying to mindfuck-manipulate me without getting played. Plus, the minute I saw his blonde faggot ponytailed pretty-boy face I wanted to hurt him deep in his soul.
So, they seem clueless about what to do next, so I offer to buy them both a beer. She loves beer. He says "oh... I'm underage", and looks decidedly uncomfortable at the prospect of going into a city pub. -1 point for him, and I file his weakness in my mind.
So anyways, I say "it's okay, I know all the bar staff". +1 point for me. I take them to a place where I always know there'll be people who know me. I lead them over to where there's a manic irishman whose been drinking since 9am and a gay paedo I drink with sometimes. -5 points for me, but I'm willing to take them because I can guess what's coming.
There's one nice plush armchair left at the table, so I usher her into it, like a gentleman (+1 point). Then I grab two barstools, put his next to her (+1 point) and sit opposite them, as if to give the lovebirds room, totally aloof, like I couldn't give a fuck (+1 point). Now, I judged him earlier to be a loser, and soon enough him and the irishman are reciting the ENTIRE repetoire of monty python. -1000000 points for him. I've won.
I lean back in my chair so when the girl tries to talk to me, she has to lean foward. Within five minutes she gets sick of it, walks over and sits on my lap. +10000000 points for me. About 8 minutes later her prettyboy notices, makes some lame excuse and leaves.
I win the universe, yet again!
She brings some pretty-boy bitch with her, to try and make me jealous, so I have a split second to size up the situation before giving my 'initial reaction'. Since I'm not that brilliant, I immediately launch into a facade of being pleased to see her, pleased to see him too, a friend of hers is a friend of mine sorta shit.
During that, I size up the situation. I go by instinct, and I decide that he desperately wants to bone her and she has no interest in him, but desperately wants to bone me. Incidently, i have no interest in boning her, but nobody gets away with trying to mindfuck-manipulate me without getting played. Plus, the minute I saw his blonde faggot ponytailed pretty-boy face I wanted to hurt him deep in his soul.
So, they seem clueless about what to do next, so I offer to buy them both a beer. She loves beer. He says "oh... I'm underage", and looks decidedly uncomfortable at the prospect of going into a city pub. -1 point for him, and I file his weakness in my mind.
So anyways, I say "it's okay, I know all the bar staff". +1 point for me. I take them to a place where I always know there'll be people who know me. I lead them over to where there's a manic irishman whose been drinking since 9am and a gay paedo I drink with sometimes. -5 points for me, but I'm willing to take them because I can guess what's coming.
There's one nice plush armchair left at the table, so I usher her into it, like a gentleman (+1 point). Then I grab two barstools, put his next to her (+1 point) and sit opposite them, as if to give the lovebirds room, totally aloof, like I couldn't give a fuck (+1 point). Now, I judged him earlier to be a loser, and soon enough him and the irishman are reciting the ENTIRE repetoire of monty python. -1000000 points for him. I've won.
I lean back in my chair so when the girl tries to talk to me, she has to lean foward. Within five minutes she gets sick of it, walks over and sits on my lap. +10000000 points for me. About 8 minutes later her prettyboy notices, makes some lame excuse and leaves.
I win the universe, yet again!