German TV makes me gag

[Nina]

AKA: Retarded ideas for movies suck major cock

I watched the German version of Popstars today (yeah....I know.) and since it had 5 breaks á 5 minutes I couldnt prevent watching some of the commercials. And what do I have to be the witness of?

TORNADO - The new TV hit on Pro7

...a realistic two-part movie about a Tornado in Berlin.

Yeah. I'm pretty speechless.

Please tell me Germany is not the only country with the most unrealistic and stupid movie ideas ever.

[Sunny]

not a movie... but i recently became aware of a show called Three Moons over Milford. an asteroid hit the moon and split it in three, so now there are 3 moons in the sky... and people are going bonkers because of it.

god.

[Tigger Army]

yes we came up with show girls. Or well, the responsible director is dutch anyway.

[ilovellamas]

AKA: Retarded ideas for movies suck major cock

I watched the German version of Popstars today (yeah....I know.) and since it had 5 breaks á 5 minutes I couldnt prevent watching some of the commercials. And what do I have to be the witness of?

TORNADO - The new TV hit on Pro7

...a realistic two-part movie about a Tornado in Berlin.

Yeah. I'm pretty speechless.

Please tell me Germany is not the only country with the most unrealistic and stupid movie ideas ever.

wow... that truly sounds awful. however, american tv is pretty awful, too. fashion house looks horrendous.

as far as movies... I mostly only know the famous movies from germany. I like metropolis, lola rennt, goodbye lenin, and even im juli.

oh, but man... have you seen Berlin, Berlin? We watched a few episodes of that last year... majorly messed up! I've actually wanted to get my hands on a season just because it's soooo bad... haha, I'm weird.

[Nina]

oh, but man... have you seen Berlin, Berlin? We watched a few episodes of that last year... majorly messed up! I've actually wanted to get my hands on a season just because it's soooo bad... haha, I'm weird.

No...I have no idea what that is :/
I know more about American TV than I do about the German kind. The reasons have been stated in my first post :C I wish this stuff wasnt so...bad.

[ilovellamas]

Rezensionen

Amazon.de
Lolle (Felicitas Woll) ist ein Landei, die sich Hals über Kopf auf macht, um ihrem Freund in die große Stadt nach Berlin zu folgen. Der ist aber schon lange vor ihr angekommen - und bei einer anderen gelandet. Einmal in Berlin, bleibt Lolle aber, was die einzig richtige Entscheidung ist. Sie bleibt in Berlin, bleibt vier Jahre im Vorabendprogramm der ARD, bleibt in den Herzen von Millionen Zuschauern und bleibt (fast) die ganze Zeit auf der Suche nach dem richtigen Mann, dem perfekten Job und immer wieder in verzwickten Situationen hängen.
Berlin, Berlin ist die mit Abstand beste deutsche Jugendsoap der letzten 10 Jahre. Viel Herz, eine große Portion Humor und ein chaotisches (Gefühls)Leben der Hauptfiguren Lolle, Rosalie (leider nur in der 1. Staffel dabei: Sandra Borgmann), Sven (Jan Sosniok) und Hart (Matthias Klimsa) machen die 26 Folgen des ersten Jahres zu etwas sehr Besonderem. Dass die Comiczeichnerin Lolle mit gedachten Zeichentrick-Sequenzen die Situationen wortlos genauso gut kommentiert, wie sie das auch mit Worten aus dem Off heraus schafft, beschreibt nur zwei bemerkenswerte Zutaten einer auch ansonsten gelungenen Mischung.

Von 2002 bis zur letzten Staffel 2005 sollte es noch Auszeichnungen hageln: Der Deutsche Fernsehpreis, der Adolf-Grimme-Preis und ein Emmy(!) zeigen wohl am Besten den Verlust auf, wenn nach der 4. Staffel Schluß mit Berlin, Berlin ist. Aber für die riesige Fangemeinde ist die Veröffentlichung der 1. Staffel auf DVD wie Wasser für einen Verdurstenden: Überlebenswichtig. -- Mike Hillenbrand

DVD & Video Report
Im Zentrum der neuen Serie steht die zwanzigjährige Lolle, die mit ihren Freunden Rosalie und Sven in Berlin tragikomische Geschichten rund ums Erwachsenwerden erlebt.

it's seriously SOOOOOO BAD.

[Nina]

ARD.
I'm not surprised. :/

[Tigger Army]

ARD.
I'm not surprised. :/

is the ARD that bad? We can watch it at my place but ofcourse I hardly ever watch german tv ever since RTL was removed from our cable...

[ilovellamas]

Is ARD a tv station?

[Tigger Army]

yep the first german public tv-station. or as they also call it: 'Das Erste'

[nieh]

Clearly you've never heard of Scifi Channel original movies.

[Sunny]

pshhh, don't hate on scifi channel movies. =p they're so bad they're good.

[nieh]

SOAP would've been the perfect Scifi movie if the snakes were genetically modified or something.

[the_GoDdEsS]

In 1992 I started watching German TV. And my whole family loved it because it was after regime and all new and different from boring Slovak TV full of documentaries and totalitarian crap. It's where my brother and I learnt our German from. Maybe it just did seem so awesome then. And I liked German TV until the reality shows came, until Big Brother started and even the channels that seemed good got polluted with crap. Horrible crap. I haven't seen any in over a year... And I know I would not like it any more.

[Paint_It_Black]

Please tell me Germany is not the only country with the most unrealistic and stupid movie ideas ever.

Germany is not the only country with the most unrealistic and stupid movie ideas ever.

I always try to be helpful.

Edit: Hey Nina, we should really chat sometime soon.

[the_GoDdEsS]

Oh, oh, I used to dislike German movies and productions. But I loved Pro 7 for showing all the great 80s movies back then. Dubbed in German though.

[T-6005]

Most public TV is horrible.

Most TV in general, actually. TV's a waste of time.

[0r4ng3]

tru punx don't watch TV.

[Tizzalicious]

Not a movie but...Big Brother is Dutch. Enough said I think.

[Sin Studly]

And I liked German TV until the reality shows came, until Big Brother started and even the channels that seemed good got polluted with crap. Horrible crap. I haven't seen any in over a year... And I know I would not like it any more.

In Germany, you are watching big brother.
In Slovak Republic, Big Brother are watching YOU!

[the_GoDdEsS]

Yesh, it was. :(

[Vera]

Speaking of German movies, has any of you seen FC Venus? It's a remake of a Finnish film that kind of sucked, and I hear it's actually good because in Germany they have a football culture that we here don't.

Either way, whatever attrocities German TV produces, Austrian TV will ultimately top. Ever watched Unser Charlie? That show makes me want to kill myself.

[the_GoDdEsS]

Was it the one with the monkey?

[Vera]

Yep. The monkey who always messed up a room and then someone would enter it and be like "Ach nein, Charlie!" and I'd be like "Fucking idiots, stop keeping a monkey as a pet! They're not that fucking intelligent."

And in the end of an episode Charlie would be, drop an apple and do his monkey thing and people would laugh. OMG KILL.

[the_GoDdEsS]

Hahaha, never watched. Told you, I had a huge aversion to any movie or show that was German because I knew most were shit. Only went for the dubbed stuff.

[wheelchairman]

I don't know, I think a tornado in Berlin sounds hilarious. I mean lol.

[the_GoDdEsS]

It's retarded. Berlin is a war city. Make war movies instead. But tornado in Berlin? No chance.

[wheelchairman]

The last thing I would allow Germans to do is make a war movie. Oversensitive phaggs. Did you know that scenes from Starship Troopers were censored for being too fascist in Germany? wtf m8?

[Paint_It_Black]

Did you know that scenes from Starship Troopers were censored for being too fascist in Germany? wtf m8?

But...but...that was an integral aspect of the movie. God damn I hate movie censorship.

[the_GoDdEsS]

The Germans just can't make movies. End of story.

[Sin Studly]

Did you know that scenes from Starship Troopers were censored for being too fascist in Germany?

That was a terrible movie. They should have censored the entire thing.

[wheelchairman]

PIB, exactly, and as opposed to the book it was more mocking of fascism than anything else.

Sin, fuck you, you like Mad Max. wtf? Starship Troopers was fantastic, as all Paul Verhoeven films end up being.

[Paint_It_Black]

Wait a second, who doesn't like Mad Max? Mad Max is awesome.

[Nina]

The Germans just can't make movies. End of story.

YES! Thank you. Nobody here understands why I hate German movies so much.

And wasnt Unser Charlie on ARD oder ZDF too? hahahahha. Again, that would explain it. I mean, these channels are good for watching news the appropriate way (which basically means they're not biased) but they only have German TV shows otherwise, and it's something I never want to be a part of.

I've never heard of the movie that got cencored.

Has any of you ever heard of "Die Brücke"? Thats a war movie produced in Germany and it was a success.

Richard!!1111 email me when you're online again.
Edit: sup mind reader.

[the_GoDdEsS]

ARD and ZDF always had good news. The rest of their shows I never watched. As compared to Pro 7 which had lame shit news. And RTL seemed biased too.

[Whiplash]

You know what i really hate about german tv? Everything on german tv is in german even american movies, There all freaking in german. There the only country i know of (in western europe) that dose that.

That was a terrible movie. They should have censored the entire thing.

That movie rules!! Part two is the one that sucks.

[Tijs]

You know what i really hate about german tv? Everything on german tv is in german even american movies, There all freaking in german. There the only country i know of (in western europe) that dose that.
France does it too, and I think Italy and Spain do it to. Turkey as well, but they're not western enough.

[the_GoDdEsS]

Italians do, yep. Slovaks and Czechs do too.

[Whiplash]

o ok, I din't know that. I'm just glad we don't do it.I think its one of the reasons the dutch ( in general) speak better english then , for example, the germans.

[the_GoDdEsS]

The Germans fail at English badly. With a sickening accent.

[Tijs]

the French are even worse.

"Excuse me, do you speak English?"
"Une petite *hand gestures*"

Why don't they just say it English then?

[Sin Studly]

Subtitles > dubbing.

[Whiplash]

The Germans just can't make movies. End of story.

I agree for the most part but Der Untergang was a pretty good movie.

[Tigger Army]

France does it too, and I think Italy and Spain do it to. Turkey as well, but they're not western enough.

infact the netherlands belongs to a select few countries world wide NOT to practice dubbing. And even we do it on occassion (don't forget most children movies). And some countries just make an entire remake of the movie in their own language.

[Tizzalicious]

Denmark doesn't either, thank god.

[the_GoDdEsS]

I like subtitles better. Makes you learn. We have originals in cimena, with subtitles. And on TV luckily these days if you have a decent TV you can switch between the dubbing or original.

[Tizzalicious]

Subtitles are much better indeed.

[wheelchairman]

Speaking of bad movies. Reptilicus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reptilicus) from Denmark is a good example. The Danish version is the best. There is the ridiculous comedic singing in the middle. And the reason the monster escapes is because the scientists decide to go to the beach for cocktails, and they leave the door open. However, this is the last film in Denmark that is not revolting. The new philosophy of the danish film industry is to deal with seriously dramatic issues, and do it in an incredibly snobby way that makes the viewer feel like he's being dragged by his nose to a preacher.

[Tigger Army]

I prefer subtitles because when they subtitle a movie in french (instead of dubbing) at least I can still understand what they are saying.

I suppose the same goes for you in Denmark Tizz

[Tizzalicious]

Exactly. It wouldn't really be a problem with DVDs (I think most dubbed DVDs also have the undubbed version?), but going to the movies there would definitely be impossible.

[Amiralanal]

http://www.gagonmycock.com

[Sin Studly]

Sin, fuck you, you like Mad Max. wtf? Starship Troopers was fantastic, as all Paul Verhoeven films end up being.

The Mad Max trilogy is a pinnacle of awesome filmmaking. Yes, even the third one. Starship Troopers was sissykicking faggotry that makes me wish they never invented the cinematograph.

I am the Nightrider! I am a fuel-injected suicide machine! I am a rocker! I am a roller! I am the chosen one!

[Whiplash]

The Mad Max trilogy is a pinnacle of awesome filmmaking. Yes, even the third one. Starship Troopers was sissykicking faggotry that makes me wish they never invented the cinematograph.

I am the Nightrider! I am a fuel-injected suicide machine! I am a rocker! I am a roller! I am the chosen one!

The computer generated version of starship troopers is one of the (if on thé) best series ever to be made.

http://www.gagonmycock.com

Just stick to smoking... trust me.

[Sin Studly]

Starship Troopers was gay. End of story.

My life fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, I remember The Road Warrior. The man we called "Max". To understand who he was, you have to go back to another time. When the world was powered by the black fuel. And the desert sprouted great cities of pipe and steel. Gone now, swept away. For reasons long forgotten, two mighty warrior tribes went to war and touched off a blaze which engulfed them all. Without fuel, they were nothing. They built a house of straw. The thundering machines sputtered and stopped. Their leaders talked and talked and talked. But nothing could stem the avalanche. Their world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on men. On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs took over the highways, ready to wage war for a tank of juice. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary men were battered and smashed. Men like Max. The warrior Max. In the roar of an engine, he lost everything. And became a shell of a man, a burnt out, desolate man, a man haunted by the demons of his past, a man who wandered out into the wasteland. And it was here, in this blighted place, that he learned to live again...

[Whiplash]

Since when are you into poetry?

[Tizzalicious]

Per, you need to get over this Paul Verhoeven obsession.

[the_GoDdEsS]

Since when are you into poetry?

Uh... It's from the movie.

[Whiplash]

Oooo ok. Now i get it.

[H1T_That]

You really aren't doing yourself any favours.

[Whiplash]

What?! I just dislike mad max and therefor i never saw any of the movies.
So how was i sepossed know that it was from the movie.

[H1T_That]

What?! I just dislike mad max and therefor i never saw any of the movies.
So how was i sepossed know that it was from the movie.

Precisley, you weren't supposed to know. So why did you post pointless drivvel about something which you don't know anything about.

[Paint_It_Black]

What?! I just dislike mad max and therefor i never saw any of the movies.
So how was i sepossed know that it was from the movie.

It should have been completely obvious regardless of whether you've seen the movie. And only a sissykicking faggot would dislike Mad Max.

[Whiplash]

I only red the first 2 sentences, But i just red it all and its pretty damm obvious i agree. My bad.

[Nina]

I agree that subtitles are better, yet I prefer my movies dubbed in German. That's probably because I'm horribly lazy. People who grew up with movies in their own language cant be bothered to read and listen/watch at once. :P It's a thing you have to get used to.

I have an obsession with LOST, yet I didnt download the second season on the net because I wanted to understand everything 100% the first time I watch it. That's just how it goes.

I also agree on Germans failing to speak foreign languages fluently. I do not exaggerate when I say that my English got WORSE after two years of English classes as a major. The people in my class simply *failed* and I was bored and didnt bother to learn everything on my own. Now my English is worse than it was two years ago. sadface.

[Paint_It_Black]

Come live with me and I'll improve your english.

[Sunny]

i actually like what polish tv does for most stuff: voiceovers. you hear someone speaking polish (just one guy), and the original version is still in the background (but softer). the only thing that gets dubbed is cartoons, and i hate dubbing with a fiery passion. :/ movies (in theatres) are usually subtitled.

[Sin Studly]

People who grew up with movies in their own language cant be bothered to read and listen/watch at once.

Bullshit. Utter bullshit.

only a sissykicking faggot would dislike Mad Max.

Truth. Utter truth.

[Sunny]

I also agree on Germans failing to speak foreign languages fluently. I do not exaggerate when I say that my English got WORSE after two years of English classes as a major. The people in my class simply *failed* and I was bored and didnt bother to learn everything on my own. Now my English is worse than it was two years ago. sadface.

pst. your english is fantastic.

and i have a question: do German people (teenagers) do this thing where they randomly use English words in conversation? but like... germanized, with a german accent?

the reason why i'm asking is cuz polish teenagers do it a lot. they can't speak the language for SHIT, but they'll be like "im chillin". or they'll say something is "stylin". or "chilled out". or "full blast". orrr they will say they were "blazin". all in a thick eastern european accent. oh my god. it KILLS me.

please tell me polish kids aren't the only ones who do this. plzzzz.

[the_GoDdEsS]

and i have a question: do German people (teenagers) do this thing where they randomly use English words in conversation? but like... germanized, with a german accent?


Yes, they do.

[Whiplash]

Who dosen't, Kids in every country do it ( well almost every)

[Sunny]

sweet. at least polish people aren't the only retarded ones.

and whiplash, i've never done it, and hearing people do it makes me cringe.

[Tizzalicious]

pst. your english is fantastic.

and i have a question: do German people (teenagers) do this thing where they randomly use English words in conversation? but like... germanized, with a german accent?

the reason why i'm asking is cuz polish teenagers do it a lot. they can't speak the language for SHIT, but they'll be like "im chillin". or they'll say something is "stylin". or "chilled out". or "full blast". orrr they will say they were "blazin". all in a thick eastern european accent. oh my god. it KILLS me.

please tell me polish kids aren't the only ones who do this. plzzzz.

Dutchies do it too. Terrible.

[Nina]

Bullshit. Utter bullshit.


Cant you read? I said "cant be bothered", not that it's impossible or more difficult.
And if your comeback is "Cant you read? I said utter bullshit", I'll cut myself.

Sunny, yes they do! I had a major rant about this before. Words like "cool" would probably be okay, but things like "abchillen", "crazy" or "abfucken" (omg ew) make me want to kill people.

[Sin Studly]

I grew up watching movies in my native language, and I can be bothered. So can the majority of people I know. So, can't you read? I said utter bullshit

[the_GoDdEsS]

Abchillen and abfucken are just horribly idiotic. Wow.

[Nina]

I grew up watching movies in my native language, and I can be bothered. So can the majority of people I know.

I can say the exact same thing. boo@u.

Simona - some people think it is cool to use an English word in every goddamn sentence. It is seriously the most idiot thing I ever heard. I hope you never experience that.

[Sin Studly]

I can say the exact same thing. boo@u.

People who grew up with movies in their own language cant be bothered to read and listen/watch at once.

So you can't read, then?

[Vera]

Abchillen and abfucken are just horribly idiotic. Wow.

Wait, how do they use those? I mean, in what context.

[Nina]

So you can't read, then?

I was talking about how I can say that the majority of people I know are like me.

Sanni - Here a couple examples for you:

"FUCK MICH NICHT AB" = Dont bother me. You cant even use the word "fuck" in the translation.
"Wir chillen hier nur ein bisschen rum" = we're just chilling (or...something).

[the_GoDdEsS]

Chilling around in English, or so. Maybe. I've heard that one. Fuck mich nicht ab? UGH. Ew. That's just gayed up. I like pure, correct German.

[Whiplash]

Dutchies do it too. Terrible.



Eeeej man ik swaar legge chillen, Jij ook bratha? Man die bitch is echt spang.

I just hate it when people talk like that. Just speak dutch i mean jeeeeez.

[wheelchairman]

Funny thing about Dutch is half your words come from somewhere else anyways. This is true of all languages, but for me it's noticeable in dutch.

Gift : cadeautje,
cadeau being the french word for gift.

[Tigger Army]

yep a whole damn lot has been stolen from foreign languages, mostly german and french. Then it evolved and got mixed up and turned dutch. I really hate the fact people are replacing decent words by crappy new words nowadays though.

[Tijs]

Gift : cadeautje,
cadeau being the french word for gift.
Actually it's 'cadeau' in Dutch as well. 'Cadeautje' being the smaller version of it -> a little present. It can also be spelled as 'kado', they wanted to 'preserve' the Dutch language by writing it as such.
And like Tigger said, Dutch is a stolen language, mostly German and French and a lot of English, too.

Just a few examples:
Contact = Contact/Kontakt
Address = Adres
Bath = Bad
Television = Televisie
News = Nieuws

[Sunny]

Sunny, yes they do! I had a major rant about this before. Words like "cool" would probably be okay, but things like "abchillen", "crazy" or "abfucken" (omg ew) make me want to kill people.

oh my lol. ahah.

people are such morons.

[Tizzalicious]

Actually it's 'cadeau' in Dutch as well. 'Cadeautje' being the smaller version of it -> a little present. It can also be spelled as 'kado', they wanted to 'preserve' the Dutch language by writing it as such.
And like Tigger said, Dutch is a stolen language, mostly German and French and a lot of English, too.



Lots of languages are like that though.

And Per, you probably only notice it in Dutch because you know more Dutch words that you wouldn't know otherwise. I think the same about Danish.

[wheelchairman]

No shit tizzie. I said every language is like that. Way to get defensive about your shitty language.

[Tizzalicious]

Oh, I thought you meant it happened more in Dutch.

I just woke up!

[Offspring-Junkie]

I don't like German TV but I do like the german language. It sounds great. Don't know how Dutch sounds anyway.

[Whiplash]

This is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WiBC_Id678

Dutch

[Offspring-Junkie]

This is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WiBC_Id678

Dutch

Well thanx for that, but I'd had to change my account to hear that since my dump shit of PC can't play any sound on my account!!!! And I'm just too lazy.

[Whiplash]

Ik kan het ook voor je schrijven.
Dit zijn gewoon een paar woorden, niks bijzonders.
Ik denk niet dat je het goed kan lezen want nederlands is best een moeilijke taal.


Translation:

I can also write it for you.
Its nothing special just a few words.
But i don't think you can read it because dutch is a pretty difficult language.

[Offspring-Junkie]

But still some words seem familiar to me, like some weird aczent.
f.e. bijzonders means besonders in german,
and in some german places you still say ik instead of ich (meaning "I")

[Paint_It_Black]

I like pure, correct German.

Last time the Germans tried to be pure they got in trouble.

[Offspring-Junkie]

Last time the Germans tried to pure they got in trouble.

really funny, haha! I don't like WW2 jokes!:mad:

[the_GoDdEsS]

really funny, haha! I don't like WW2 jokes!:mad:

Why, JodelHansie?

[Paint_It_Black]

I wouldn't like them either, you know, if my side didn't win.

[Sin Studly]

Last time the Germans tried to be pure they got in trouble.

Lol @ jew.

really funny, haha! I don't like WW2 jokes!:mad:

Lol @ you.

I wouldn't like them either, you know, if my side didn't win.

Lol @ austria too.