View Full Version : Mail-order English husbands
Duskygrin
10-21-2006, 10:43 AM
Since I'm met to understand there exist mail order Russian wives, it won't seem unseemly in me to ask if there is some kind of mail order for English husbands?
Here are my requirements for the perfect John Bullish husband:
Tall (round 6 feet)
Soft-haired, fair-haired, fair complexion
Stiff upper lip
Genteel look
Pipe-smoking
Quiet
A bit dull
Phlegmatic on all occasions even in case if emergencies
Lean body
Aquiline nose
Beardless
It would be splendiferous if they could look like Sherlock Holmes or Graham Chapman.
I'm sending my mail some time this week, apparently there's delivery round Christmas.
And before I forget: a Chelsea accent would be thrilling. & a "Jolly Good" way of expressing themselves wouldn't look amiss either.
Tizzalicious
10-21-2006, 10:45 AM
Why would anyone want to order an English husband? Just go there, they are used to ugly English chicks, not hard to get one.
Duskygrin
10-21-2006, 10:47 AM
And wade thru droves of fish&chippian cockneys? No dice.
But you're right on one thing. They're all busy inbreeding.
Rag Doll
10-21-2006, 10:48 AM
Just go there, they are used to ugly English chicks, not hard to get one.
4srs, when i went to England, i could've come home with a whole army of English husbands after just one night in a bar.
Tizzalicious
10-21-2006, 10:49 AM
4srs, when i went to England, i could've come home with a whole army of English husbands after just one night in a bar.
It's true!
Some of them have nice accents though.
Duskygrin
10-21-2006, 10:51 AM
I'm not sure I could stand England. The English are fine, but perfidious Albion? The food is disgusting. Not just disgusting, but truly disgusting. And when it's not disgusting, it's frozen. And unappetising.
Oh, & I don't want the sort of English you get in bars. God Forbid. I want the nearly-extinct species that wear bowler hats & tailored suits.
JohnnyNemesis
10-21-2006, 10:57 AM
Yeah, I pick up English dudes all the time for free.
Rag Doll
10-21-2006, 11:03 AM
Oh, & I don't want the sort of English you get in bars. God Forbid. I want the nearly-extinct species that wear bowler hats & tailored suits.
you get some like that in the bars in Cambridge.
and haha, Tizz, definitely with the accents. Some guy was telling my friend and I about some robotic something or other that he built and was presenting for his Ph.D. We're like "i have no idea what you're talking about, but tell me more about it" ;p
killer_queen
10-21-2006, 12:47 PM
Oh, I'd love to have a British husband. Something like Christopher Bailey preferably. And not some of them, all of them has cute accents.
I'm a British lover. I don't belong to this BBS.
H1T_That
10-22-2006, 04:16 AM
Quiet
A bit dull
I'm curious, what attracts you to dull, quiet men?
Duskygrin
10-22-2006, 07:34 AM
I find it very chic.
I'm a British lover. I don't belong to this BBS.
I like fictional Brits a lot, but I sadly have to admit a lot of Brits just plain suck, despite the accents.
Maria should try a night out with my boyfriend. he's tall, has a lean body, he's rather quiet, not necessarily dull, he just only speaks when he wants to say something/has got something to say, he doesn't have a beard (because he shaves it off & he doesn't have very aggressive hairgrowth overall), he has great hair & a great skin & he looks incredibly trustworthy.
he's Dutch, though. & mine. ;D
Duskygrin
10-22-2006, 11:34 AM
I thank you, but I have mon chéri... who looks as English as you like, but the resemblance stops when he opens his mouth. Just TOO French.
Italia311
10-22-2006, 11:45 AM
I'm not sure I could stand England. The English are fine, but perfidious Albion? The food is disgusting. Not just disgusting, but truly disgusting. And when it's not disgusting, it's frozen. And unappetising.
Sort of like the people that reside in that country. Disgusting, unappetising...YUP...thats English people.
What is that saying...you are what you eat or something...
Second Time Around
10-22-2006, 11:52 AM
well this is a bit harsh, not all our men are buttfucks!
A few are, but not all... I'd say it's about 70-30, 70 being buttfucks.
Sin Studly
10-22-2006, 03:29 PM
It's closer to 100-0
ninthlayer
10-22-2006, 11:14 PM
Davy Jones.
Duskygrin
10-23-2006, 11:31 AM
What are the lyrics here? I don't quite get them.
Billy Bones - Davy Jones (http://www.deadmentellnotales.com/index.shtml)
edit: & please, ninth, change that pathetic french handle of yours, you miserable wretch. I just noticed it & I utterly lost my appetite for dinner.
ninthlayer
10-23-2006, 11:40 PM
I was talking about Davy Jones from the Monkees, I didn't even check your link.
lol, french handle. For you, love, sure.
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