I haven't had a good week

[nieh]

Ok, so, about a month ago we were going to have a 'family meeting' of sorts to talk to my dad about putting him into a nursing home. My grandma, brother and I all went to his apartment on a Saturday morning and didn't get a chance to talk about it at all because my dad was stumbling and falling all over the place and my brother and I had to catch him a few times. My grandma mentions to us that he took four days worth of his meds between Friday night and the time we got there Saturday morning. She knew this BEFORE my brother and I got there and didn't think anything of it aside from "I can't trust him anymore" and that he was "misbehaving" even though he was falling all over the place. Anyway. He ended up going to the bathroom and falling backwards into the shower (not hurting himself thankfully), and I told them that we need to get him to a hospital because he's taken too many meds and he can't stand up on his own. We end up calling an ambulance and when it gets there they realize that he got 30 days worth of meds 2 weeks prior and they were all gone already so this wasn't the first time that he had taken too much, it was just the first time we were there to see it. They took him to the hospital where he ended up staying until Thursday. On Thursday, we got a call from my grandma at 10:30 saying they were transferring him to a nursing home at noon (we actually initially got the call about a week before then but they ended up changing the date). We both left our jobs and drove out there to meet them at the hospital before they moved him and then met up with him again at the nursing home. While we were there, my uncle (dad's power of attorney) asked us one of the more awkward questions ever: "If they come in the room, and your dad isn't breathing, do you want them to try to bring him back? If they come in and he's blue, they don't even try but if he's not blue but isn't breathing, they normally try to bring him back."

Back in November I got into a little accident in a parking lot and I just got a call on Friday from my insurance company telling me the other person's insurance company is trying to get me to pay $2,000.00 for their repairs.

My 'service engine soon' light has been coming on a lot lately. I ended up having to cancel my last couple appointments for one reason or another and ended up going this morning. They said it would be an hour, it ended up being 2 1/2. They came back out saying if I wanted to get everything fixed, it would be about $2,100.00.

I didn't eat at all today until about an hour ago (3ish).

There's still no hot water in my apartment.

[calichix]

all that sure is awful, sweet pea. I'm dealing with something similar with my grandpa (I think we've talked about this already). in my experience when you're watching someone you love go insane, when you start to get a little fed up and start reacting to it with annoyance instead of sympathy is the worst part because you feel so guilty and punish yourself constantly. still, I can't imagine your situation. especially since there's nothing more disappointing/unsatisfying than a lukewarm shower. :( I'd make you a cuppa joe if I could. :]

[nieh]

in my experience when you're watching someone you love go insane, when you start to get a little fed up and start reacting to it with annoyance instead of sympathy

The only one that does that is my grandma and she's been like that for as long as I can remember. My grandpa had the same disease but his developed a lot later in life and right from the get-go she was treating him the same way she treats my dad. This whole thing freaks me out even more because it's a genetic disease. If one of your parents has it there's a 50% chance that you'll have the gene and if you have the gene you will get the disease so it's kind of like seeing your own future.

I've taken showers at work the last three days, so I haven't had to worry about the cold water, but I hate taking showers here because I run the risk of being seen naked by the senior vice president of the company again.

[JohnnyNemesis]

Holy smokes, you need booze!

[Endymion]

if you ever need someone to hump your leg, i'm always around.

or listen to muzak with, ya know.

<3

[Little_Miss_1565]

I don't think I know anyone whose life isn't a complete and total clusterfuck right now. xoxoxo. Is this the part where I post the picture of the cat hanging onto a tree branch?

[All About Eve]

As long as the tree is the faggot tree. nieh is definitely involved with some faggot tree.

[Rag Doll]

if you wanna talk or do something to just like, take your mind off of it.... <3333

or if you want me to bake you cookies like i did last time stuff was meh....

[Linda]

My sympathies to you, nieh.
Sorry to hear about your dad.
Hope things get better for you soon.

[JohnnyNemesis]

Ftr (for the record), I'm also here to help in any way possible through the ol' Internet.

[goonadie1day]

Awe man that is really lousy. I will pray for you.

[Lodat225]

Sucks . Hopefully, it would all turn out better. Hopefully.

[nieh]

if you ever need someone to hump your leg, i'm always around.

I'm always up for some leg-humping.

My car has over 150,000 miles on it right now so spending $2,100 to fix it when there's just going to end up being another issue with it soon enough seems stupid. I'm thinking about trading it in and getting a new or used car with low-mileage but I don't know how much I'd get for it with all the problems it has right now.

Thanks for the well-wishes, folks.

[Nina]

Everything sounds quite bad.
I hope your dad feels better soon, but I guess there isnt a possiblity for that? :[

[JoY]

god, Josh... I wish I could help you one way or another. at least please eat something (uh, I just realised it's 4pm here & I forgot to eat, so whoops?) & maybe it'd help if you eat sufficiently at regular times. it could make you feel a little bit better & physically stronger.<33 that's at least one thing. the one thing that you have any control over, so it seems.

the stuff about your dad.. I had no idea he's so sick. I'm sorry to hear that. now he's under some medical supervision, he probably won't overmedicate himself anymore, since that's in someone else's hands. plus, they'll be quick to react when something goes wrong. I could say I hope he gets (relatively) better soon, but I don't know what's the matter with him & I don't know if that's even an option. it sounds pretty damn serious. how did you react to the awkward question?

are you in deep money problems now? it all sucks so much.. it sounds better to just trade in your car, but who knows what that's going to cost. is there something your insurance company can do about your carproblems & that accident you had?

muchos love, babez. <3 I hope things will be less hard on you soonies.

[Mota Boy]

It's times like this that I'm annoyed that all I have are words. Best of luck, at least we're rolling into summer.

[nieh]

I haven't been eating any worse than normal for the most part lately, it's just that yesterday in the morning I didn't get a chance because of the car thing taking an hour and a half longer than it was supposed to, then I had to go to work and I wasn't able to take a lunch until 2:30.

Getting a new car would cost more, but if I trade my current piece of crap in I'd imagine the down payment would be pretty light and I could do monthly payments on it. I only have liability insurance because anything more than that is insanely expensive here, especially if you have points on your license. They're probably not going to cover anything for the accident and definitely won't cover anything for the car going to shit on its own (I don't think any insurance company does that here though).

how did you react to the awkward question?
We told him they should try to bring him back. Apparently the reason he asked is because the nursing home normally tries to bring the person back under those circumstances, but my dad has a living will that says not to. Since my uncle has POA I guess that gives him the authority to tell them to ignore the living will.

[HornyPope]

What do you have in your car that costs 2000$ in repairs? Sounds like a rip off to me. Ask friends to recommend a mechanic, or just shop around for a better rate.

And why the hell do you have to pay for an accident if you have an insurance?

But I imagine that's the least of your concerns right now.

[nieh]

Oxygen sensor: $143
Plugs/wires - $169
EGR Valve - $318
Emission Flush - $100
ECT - $152
Valve Body (transmission thingy) - $1140
All plus tax.

The light has, for a very long time, come on about once every couple weeks for one day, then turned off the next day. Normally only during shitty weather. I ignored it because I didn't have the money to do anything about it. My transmission has, for even longer, stuck whenever I shift it into reverse. I don't have any problems when it's in drive, only when I shift to reverse. Sometimes it'll stay in drive after I shift it until I start hitting the gas. Again, I ignored this because I had no money to pay attention to it. Transmissions = expensive. And it wasn't affecting my actual driving, just making it a pain in the ass to park and stuff. Though recently, there have been a couple times where it stuck in 2nd or 3rd gear while I was driving and would refuse to shift up any further.

I'm not sure how insurance works in other places (not even other states, NJ is fucking weird). The reason I have to pay for the accident is because it was one of those situations where it's automatically considered your fault even if it's not really your fault. I have liability coverage which is the cheapest available so they don't cover stuff like that. I haven't gotten details yet, but I think they pay for it up front and then I pay them off through the monthly payments, plus my rates will go up anyway because of the accident. I'll find out in a couple weeks I think.

[All About Eve]

I just want to point out, that depending on what kind of car you have, 150,000 is nothing.

[nieh]

2001 Saturn SL2. Would it be worth it to keep?

[All About Eve]

I won't pretend to know anything about cars. But I've never heard anything bad about Saturns. If I were you, I'd consider how many problems you've had in the past with it, and how long other people have kept your type of car.

I drive a 97 Subaru with 212,000, and it drives better than a lot of my friends' cars. We had to rebuild half the engine, but we found a place that specialized in Subarus, and it only about $1000 to rebuild half the engine, put a new belt in, get a new windshield, and a couple other minor things. If you could find something like that it might be beneficial to keep it.

[nieh]

Everyone I know that's driven Saturns for a length of time ends up having issues with the transmission and minor issues with oil leaks. That's not just my model either. I've never heard of any other problems but transmissions are pretty much the most expensive thing in the car to fix. I wouldn't mind getting a new Saturn, but I'm not sure I want to keep the one I have.

[All About Eve]

It probably wouldn't hurt to look up specific records online or something, but chronic transmission problems aren't good. I actually know about those from my mom's van.

[RickyCrack]

2001 Saturn SL2. Would it be worth it to keep?

I'm driving a 98' Saturn SL2 and the "Service Engine" light has been on since I've had it and I've had no problems with it. The most common problem when this happens is that the gas cap isn't on tight enough. I'd guess this is likely if you need a "new" oxygen sensor. And I think valve bodies can be tampered with to work effectively instead of buying a new one.

Edit, you can goto Autozone and they'll check your car computer for free and you can see what the codes are to see what's wrong with your car.

[killer_queen]

It's really annoying. Why can't just things like these happen to lodat or that kind of people instead of someone so nice like nieh?
I wish I could do something. All I can say is good luck.

[Linda]

My car has over 150,000 miles on it right now so spending $2,100 to fix it when there's just going to end up being another issue with it soon enough seems stupid. I'm thinking about trading it in and getting a new or used car with low-mileage but I don't know how much I'd get for it with all the problems it has right now.



nieh, if you get rid of your car, you would be better off selling it yourself. You would get more for it than if you used it as a trade-in. I had a 1980 Chevy Citation I traded in in '96, I got $250 trade-in, the auto dealer turned around and sold it at auction for $1000. It had recurring problems, I just got tired of putting money into it for the same thing to go wrong again 6 months later.

Also, if you only have liability insurance and you have an accident that's your fault, your insurance only covers the other person's car, not yours.

You should look into getting a used Geo Prizm. They have a Toyota engine, 4 cylinder and a Chevy body. They are very good running cars with very low maintenance. Look them up on-line and read some comments about them.