The Official Review for Pirates of the Caribean 3

[DeAtHsTaR]

IT FUCKING SUCKED

[T-6005]

EDIT - <insert ctrl+v joke at dain's expense here>

[Apathy]

I didn't think it was bad. Except the ending, that sucked.

Although my day was so horrible that everything else seems cheery in comparison.

[Little_Miss_1565]

I had a major boner for this movie. It might have been the fruity rum drinks we had in celebration beforehand, but I loved it. I just can't get enough Cap't Jack. "We'll have a lovely garden party, and we won't invite them!" And oh, his mincing his way through sticky situations. <33333. But please, someone give Kiera Knightly a sandwich.

[ninthlayer]

1565/Ninth/Knightley sandwich, nah mean?

[Little_Miss_1565]

That bitch is way too skinny for any of that action.

[ninthlayer]

'k, cut her out of the equation then.

[DeAtHsTaR]

EDIT - <insert ctrl+v joke at dain's expense here>

Haha, what did your post originally say?

[JohnnyNemesis]

Keira Knightley is pretty fucking gross.

[T-6005]

Haha, what did your post originally say?
It said "Who said that?" but I figured that was too subtle, not to mention unfunny.

[coke_a_holic]

Keira Knightley is pretty fucking gross.

Only from certain camera angles (ie the majority of them).

[F@ BANKZ]

I havn't seen it yet but the 4 or 5 people I have asked said it was too long and not nearly as good as the others.

[mrconeman]

I enjoyed it, but had some issues with the story.
But as I said in the movie thread, its a pirate film, who watches those for a story?

[Lodat225]

Keira Knightley is pretty fucking gross.

Huh? She's not gross. She is very pretty, actually.

http://www.keira-online.com/gallery/magazines/200501_stuff/SKS-Stuff-Jan-Knightley-002.jpg

http://www.ukhotmovies.co.uk/keira-knightley/keira-knightley-wallpaper-uk-6b.jpg

Deathstar, way to describe what was so wrong with this movie. I liked it and i am not too big into these kinds of movies. One of my only complaints is Orlando Bloom's acting.

[Thomas]

Hey, I really enjoyed it. I have no complaints. And considering the situation I was in in the movie theatre (I was sitting by someone who I really did not want to be sitting by), that's pretty good. The story line WAS complicated, but it really wasn't hard to foloow if you have any smidgen of an attention span. I'm assuming Dain doesn't have one.

And Keira Knightley would be pretty fucking hot is she put on a little bit more meat. Then again, I prefer my girls to njot be fat, but to be a bit meaty. Y'know what I mean, vern?

EDIT- Holy shit. I just realized that she looks exactly like one of my friends who I've known since God knows when. That's kinda strange. But she's still too skinny.

[Lodat225]

I was the last one in the row so to my right, there was my friend, behind me: a little 6 year old asking me what was going on every 4 seconds and screaming when something exciting happened with that squeaky voice and laughing hysterical at parts like when the midgets falls back down after shooting that bazooka or whatever.

He was annoying. Keira Knightley is hot. I enjoyed this movie.

a lot.

[ilovellamas]

I've not seen any of the films, nor do I have any wish to... but my official review is... it was probably okay.

But for serious, that Kiera girl looks gross and unhealthy. I would not do her.

[Lodat225]

Who would you do?

[ChickenChaser]

You'd be stupid to deny that Keira Knightley - her face - is very pretty. Maybe she does need to put on weight, but hey some people can't help being skinny, it's just their metabolism. I would never call anyone gross anyway.

I hope I get to see 3 soon...2 wasn't as good as the first for a number of reasons but I hope this one will be at least an improvement on that.

[ilovellamas]

In the second photo lodat posted, I don't find her face to be pretty. She looks very average and bland to me.

[ChickenChaser]

It's all a matter of taste

[Grabbal]

It's still going to be a movie most people will see.

[ilovellamas]

You'd be stupid to deny that Keira Knightley - her face - is very pretty.

It's all a matter of taste

Interesting contradiction.

[Lodat225]

Interesting contradiction.

How is that a contradiction? He finds her pretty, and you don't. He said that it all matters in taste.

BTW, Have you seen The Hole? She looks so hot.

[killer_queen]

The movie was fun and I definitely wouldn't want to miss it. But I forgot almost all of it after an hour. It wasn't one of those movies that you want to watch over and over again.

And yeah, Knightley is pretty ugly. She looks like someone has punched her. And her accent makes me want to kill myself.

[ilovellamas]

How is that a contradiction? He finds her pretty, and you don't. He said that it all matters in taste.

BTW, Have you seen The Hole? She looks so hot.

Umm, he said that you'd have to be stupid to deny that she's pretty. Fairly obvious.

What kind of accent does she have?

[sKratch]

I enjoyed the movie, but it was like fucking 3 hours long. There were several very funny parts as well.

Keira Knightly can be various degrees of hot, and I think she sometimes does look very good. I wouldn't say she ever looks ugly though... It's probably just her British side coming out ;[

[mrconeman]

Keira Knightley is hot. She would be hotter if she was less um...skeletol, but yeah, I would.

[noodlesfan]

Johnny Depp! *drools*

[JohnnyNemesis]

http://www.keira-online.com/gallery/magazines/200501_stuff/SKS-Stuff-Jan-Knightley-002.jpg
http://www.ukhotmovies.co.uk/keira-knightley/keira-knightley-wallpaper-uk-6b.jpg

That not only confirms, but intensifies my point that she's fucking gross.

You'd be stupid to deny that Keira Knightley - her face - is very pretty.
It's all a matter of taste

You are such a fucking idiot.

How is that a contradiction?

You are such a fucking idiot.

For the love of all that is decent in this world, please tell me you see how stupid that was?

[ChickenChaser]

You won't believe me, but 'it's all a matter of taste' was a resigned sigh of 'you're wrong, but I can't be bothered to argue with you'. And what's with all the swearing man? Sure makes you look tough on the internet huh :rolleyes:

[Lodat225]

I got it after I read his post again. Calm down.

I think Keira is hot. She doesn't look so hot in these pirate movies, but she's hot.

Edit: ChickenChaser, he's a nigger.

[Lodat225]

Johnny Depp! *drools*

He's so dreamy.

[Nina]

My long ass review is in the movie thread.

Keira is *kind of* hot, in my opinion. She's pretty thin but she appears to be build that way, so it's not like she's starving herself.....I hope.
I dont like her acting much.

[noodlesfan]

I'd still put a baby in her. amirite?

[Lodat225]

My long ass review is in the movie thread.

Keira is *kind of* hot, in my opinion. She's pretty thin but she appears to be build that way, so it's not like she's starving herself.....I hope.
I dont like her acting much.

Her legs are super-duper.

u r so rite, noodlesfan. so would i.

[JohnnyNemesis]

Sure makes you look tough on the internet huh

Yes. That's the only reason I swear; to look tough on the Internet.

How the FUCK (lol, look I sweared) does that make any sense?

I'd still put a baby in her. amirite?

A whole baby? How big is your urethra? That's hot!

[coke_a_holic]

Ricky: http://enhasa.org/sandbox/

WARNING: SITE IS NSFW.

[BustedKnuckles]

[QUOTE=JohnnyNemesis;1015183



A whole baby? How big is your urethra? That's hot![/QUOTE]

LMFAO! I'd pay to see that.

[JohnnyNemesis]

Ricky: http://enhasa.org/sandbox/

WARNING: SITE IS NSFW.

No way in fuck am I clicking that. I remember your thread!

[nieh]

http://enhasa.org/sandbox/

That's the cutest lolcat I've ever seen.

[0r4ng3]

I agree. It almost puts Domo Cat to shame. Almost.

[sKratch]

My keen knowledge of the internet reminds me that links containing the word "sandbox" are no good.

[Coleby]

I think she looked pretty in the movie. I wouldn't call her ugly by any degree.

[noodlesfan]

Ricky: http://enhasa.org/sandbox/

WARNING: SITE IS NSFW.

Would you pay a dollar to see me do that?

[calichix]

I think she's pretty. She was FINE in Domino. Except she's always making a face like she was giving an asian dude a BJ and her face got stuck.

[nieh]

You know, I'm kind of surprised the internet has not yet maken the jump from lol-cat to lol-pussy.

[drex878]

i havvent seen it yet is it worth seeing?

[Meiko]

Keira is not hot. She's cute and pretty in a way. Yes, she should gain a bit of weight. I think she looks very pretty in Pride & Prejudice.

about the movie, well, it was long, and sometimes I kept watching what time it was so I could figure out how long I would have to wait for the ending.

[0r4ng3]

I think she's pretty. She was FINE in Domino. Except she's always making a face like she was giving an asian dude a BJ and her face got stuck.
I apologize for nothing!

[JohnnyNemesis]

Jesse makes me lawl.

Oh, and I saw this movie tonight. It was okay for what it was. I didn't see the first two though, so I can't say much.

I take back much of what I said about Keira Knightley. She gets a pass because her narsty body wasn't really shown much in the film, but her amazing lips were.

[Ninty Man]

Jesse makes me lawl.

Oh, and I saw this movie tonight. It was okay for what it was. I didn't see the first two though, so I can't say much.

I take back much of what I said about Keira Knightley. She gets a pass because her narsty body wasn't really shown much in the film, but her amazing lips were.

oh yeah, that blowjob lips :D

[Grabbal]

Did anyone but me notice her huge eyebrows?

[Lodat225]

What? Her legs are so sexy.

But yeah, her lips are awesome.

[Little_Miss_1565]

Man, y'all are salty. I just want to give her a sandwich.

[Lodat225]

That's true. She's way too skinny.

[JohnnyNemesis]

Waaaaaaaaaaay too fucking skinny. If she'd have shown more skin in the movie , I would have been as grossed out as I was when I saw those pictures earlier.

[Coleby]

Jesse makes me lawl.

Oh, and I saw this movie tonight. It was okay for what it was. I didn't see the first two though, so I can't say much.

I take back much of what I said about Keira Knightley. She gets a pass because her narsty body wasn't really shown much in the film, but her amazing lips were.

You didn't see the first two? You must have been so confused. Hell, I was even confused and I saw the first two, I don't think the movie was explained enough, with that "9 pieces of 8 thing".

[JohnnyNemesis]

You're right, I was SO fucking confused. The whole time I was just like "bah, what the fuck?" Luckily nothing in the movie had any substance whatsoever, so even though I was confused, I could just go with the flow and understand it enough to have a good time. If I'd seen the movie alone I woulda thought it was horrible, but when you're with friends and just trying to have a good time, you let stupid things slide and just have fun.

It was way too fucking long though.

[Nina]

A question to pplz:
Do you think it makes sense to watch the third, or second part of a series without watching the first movie(s)? Some people watched POTC3, but not 1 or 2. Same goes to movies like LOTR.
I personally think it makes nnooooo sense. It's just really weird to me. They often (I bet 99% of the time) dont understand anything.

[ilovellamas]

I haven't seen any of the Pirates movies, but I guess I don't think it's the hugest deal. I saw Xmen 3 without seeing the first two, and I was okay. I also saw Star Wars episode 3 without seeing any of the others and was okay. I'm not sure if maybe Pirates is more a building story than those two, but with what I've seen, I've never had a problem with it. Many things are often easy to pick up on as you go along, and if you really want, you can ask someone to give you a quick rundown of the previous movies ahead of time, and/or ask questions after it's over. :)

[Nina]

I guess I wont ever understand how that can be enjoyable. Especially only watching episode 3. That's just hilarious. You do know there are five more movies of that sort that explain the story and you only watched the middle?

[ilovellamas]

Yep! Both movies I went to see because they were social outings with good friends. Both was like a friend called me up, "Hey you wanna go see ____ 3?" "Uhh I haven't seen the others...." "That's okay, I'll fill you in!" "Alright, why not??" haha. With Star Wars, it's kind of impossible to not know some of the basic plot... Darth Vader is Luke's father kinda thing. So really, it wasn't confusing, and I generally thought the film was okay. Xmen was a little more confusing, but I actually really liked the movie and afterward really wanted to see the first two. My friend gave me a quick rundown of the previous films beforehand, so it worked for me.

With Star Wars, I went on to watch episode 4. I liked it more than 3, but still didn't totally dig it. So that was the end of that.

In short, it's all what you make of it. I really take movie watching and tv watching as a social thing, and will go to movies just to hang out with friends. If I don't get 100% everything, I'll be okay. I can't think of any movies where I feel like I'd have to see all of it to be okay, so the best example I can think of is Lost. Lost would totally suck to come in on in the middle, I think. But even my ex did that, started in the middle of season 2 and is hooked.

I still find it enjoyable.

[Lodat225]

Look, it's llamas being insightful again.

[JohnnyNemesis]

Do you think it makes sense to watch the third, or second part of a series without watching the first movie(s)?

It depends. Most of the time, I'd say definitely not, but like I said, sometimes movies just don't have enough substance for it to truly matter. I probably would have enjoyed the latest Pirates movie if I'd seen the first two, and I know for sure I must be missing out. It felt like the first two were probably pretty damn good if they thought they could get away with this one.

With the X-Men series...ugh. I thought the third one was alright, but the worst by far. The first two were so good at combining awesome character development and storytelling, and the third one was just like "OMG LOOK LETS FITE ITS TYMEN 2 FYTE NOW K? OMG FX!!!" and I practically shouted "I'M SO FUCKING BORED I JUST WANNA GO HOME NOW!!!" in the theatre.

Meh, when you're with your buds and they vote 3 to 1 on a movie though, you just go with the flow.

[nieh]

A question to pplz:
Do you think it makes sense to watch the third, or second part of a series without watching the first movie(s)? Some people watched POTC3, but not 1 or 2. Same goes to movies like LOTR.
I personally think it makes nnooooo sense. It's just really weird to me. They often (I bet 99% of the time) dont understand anything.

I know. Someone once asked me if I wanted to see Jackass 2 with them and I had to turn them down because I'd never seen Jackass 1 and would've been completely lost.

It doesn't really matter with most movies. Most sequels are really not that tied in plot-wise to the original and you only really need to understand the character's relationship. Normally the sequels do a good job of making the small amount of things you need to know from the first one blatantly obvious early on.

[nieh]

It depends. Most of the time, I'd say definitely not, but like I said, sometimes movies just don't have enough substance for it to truly matter. I probably would have enjoyed the latest Pirates movie if I'd seen the first two, and I know for sure I must be missing out. It felt like the first two were probably pretty damn good if they thought they could get away with this one.

Erm. I, and most others I know, thought the third was much better than the second. It still can't touch the first though. The plot to the first was really basic and was mostly just there as an excuse for Jack Sparrow to say stuff and for fights to happen but it was awesomely entertaining. The second movie is when they started trying to cram tons of plot into it and they started ruining some of the fun.
*Quick spoiler*
When they brought Barbosa back to life at the end of the second movie I thought it was an incredibly stupid move but the fact that he was already alive when the third movie started made it a lot easier to deal with and a little more fun. Him being there wasn't a mistake they made in the third, it was a mistake they made in the second if that makes sense.
*end spoiler*
Also, the second movie had WAY too many throwbacks to the first which really frustrated me.

[MrJoe]

I hadn't seen the second or the third until last night when I watched the second, knowing that I was going to see the third today. The second one was pretty good but not half as good as the first, and even though being that I was watching it at 2 in the morning but have had an effect on it seeming to drag on and on, I still was glad when it finished.

I think the Third one is better than the second, I'm in agreement with nieh on that one. Even though it was long, there was a lot of action in it which kept you entertained. I still think over 2 1/2 hours in any film is too long, as I get restless after 2 hours no matter what the film is. Some of it was a bit cheesy and predictable but still worth seeing at some point.

[Lodat225]

It depends. Most of the time, I'd say definitely not, but like I said, sometimes movies just don't have enough substance for it to truly matter. I probably would have enjoyed the latest Pirates movie if I'd seen the first two, and I know for sure I must be missing out. It felt like the first two were probably pretty damn good if they thought they could get away with this one.

With the X-Men series...ugh. I thought the third one was alright, but the worst by far. The first two were so good at combining awesome character development and storytelling, and the third one was just like "OMG LOOK LETS FITE ITS TYMEN 2 FYTE NOW K? OMG FX!!!" and I practically shouted "I'M SO FUCKING BORED I JUST WANNA GO HOME NOW!!!" in the theatre.

Meh, when you're with your buds and they vote 3 to 1 on a movie though, you just go with the flow.

I never understood that.

When I'm with my friends, and we're watching a movie they don't like: they just leave. I mean, the ticket alone costs about 15 dollars, plus all that food. Why would you leave halfway?

[ilovellamas]

With the X-Men series...ugh. I thought the third one was alright, but the worst by far. The first two were so good at combining awesome character development and storytelling, and the third one was just like "OMG LOOK LETS FITE ITS TYMEN 2 FYTE NOW K? OMG FX!!!" and I practically shouted "I'M SO FUCKING BORED I JUST WANNA GO HOME NOW!!!" in the theatre.
I liked the third one better than the first one. The second was my favorite, though. Regardless, though, I saw the third one first and it was good enough to make me wanna see the others. That's a pretty good sign.

Meh, when you're with your buds and they vote 3 to 1 on a movie though, you just go with the flow.
Yup, exactly. I'm not gonna be like "oh sorry guys I'm just gonna go home and hang out by myself because I haven't seen the others."

Lodat, what don't you understand?

[Lodat225]

The fact that people pay so much to see a movie but leave halfway. That's stupid.

[JohnnyNemesis]

I liked the third one better than the first one. The second was my favorite, though.

I'm with you on that the second one being the best one. I thought it was just amazing. I didn't like the first one all that much, but when I compare it to the third I end up liking it a bit more. That's just me though.

The fact that people pay so much to see a movie but leave halfway. That's stupid.

Oh yeah, I don't actually do that, but I've felt like it. I think it's ridiculous to spend so much money on a movie and leave in the middle, and I've only done it ONCE in my entire life (Charlie's Angels 2. I'm sorry, that one just went way too fucking far on the stupidity + boredom scale).

[ilovellamas]

I'm with you on that the second one being the best one. I thought it was just amazing. I didn't like the first one all that much, but when I compare it to the third I end up liking it a bit more. That's just me though.
I will admit bias, since I saw 3 first, and haven't seen it since. But I thought the plot was way more interesting, I loved the blue chick, and I loved the stuff with, uh... the girl who can't control her powers anymore and goes crazy. But the bridge scene was overdramatic and boring, the stuff with the winged boy was stupid, and the girl who couldn't touch people had a very underdone ending. Rogue?



Oh yeah, I don't actually do that, but I've felt like it. I think it's ridiculous to spend so much money on a movie and leave in the middle, and I've only done it ONCE in my entire life (Charlie's Angels 2. I'm sorry, that one just went way too fucking far on the stupidity + boredom scale).
I don't think I've ever done that, but I nearly did when I saw "Get Over It". I probably would've left if my friends and I weren't like 16 and total morons who sat in the back and after realizing how much it sucked, started being idiots/assholes. I'd feel bad, except anyone who liked that movie deserved to have it ruined.

[sKratch]

Oh nos. My heart sinks when people discuss x-men and can't name big-time mutants :[
*reads marvel ultimate universe comics and consoles himself*

[ilovellamas]

haha, admittedly it's really weird I can't remember her name. For me, the thing is that they have real names and mutant names. I actually am way better at remembering their real names... I know her name was Jean...

[sKratch]

Blue chick is Mystique, whose real name is something with Raven in it if I remember, but it's rarely used. Jean (Gray) is Marvel Girl / Phoenix, but is usually just called Jean. Rogue's real name escapes me at the moment :x I'd pick it out in a multiple choice though.

[ilovellamas]

I know Rogue's real name is Marie. It took me a while to come up with Rogue, though Marie came quickly.

And I dunno Mystique's real name... I didn't bother thinking about her name for some reason in my first post, even though I probably would've gotten it after a few seconds.

[Vera]

+/- (!!!SPOILERS!!!)

+ Entertaining on the whole.
- Extremely drawn out and plot was all over the fucking place.
- Multiple Jacks. Lay off the crack, writers.
+ Norrington.
- Norrington dying.
- Elizabeth. Sure, she was all kickass but god, Keira Knightley is so enormously annoying. Somebody make her eat. :(
+ Davy Jones + Calypso, d'awww.
- Calypso WTFFFF.
+ Stellan Skarsgård pwns everybody.

[coke_a_holic]

+/- (!!!SPOILERS!!!)

+ Entertaining on the hole.

lol .

[Vera]

lulululululululululz.

Also; ORLANDO+KEIRA LEG SMOOCHIE DOES NOT WANT EW GROSS HOLLYWOOD FUGLIES GET OFF MY SCREEN.

[Lodat225]

Are you kidding me? I love her legs.