How can I become member of the Offspring?

[Dead Kennedy]

Well, I'm very talented young lad, and I would like to play keyboards or rhythm guitar for Offspring to so that Dexter could sing better and it would be easier for him. And I can also sing, but then we would have to dump Dexter.
If anybody know how to contact the band or something, and if anybody is generous enough to buy me business class ticket from Zagreb to Orange County he/she would be welcome at my house anytime. Thanks!!

[Dead Kennedy]

I'm really sorry for double thread, it was accidentally...if someone can delete one

[HeadAroundU]

Well, you have a better chance to succeed with drums. :d

[nameless]

you could try writing to them to ask or catch them after a show when they next tour! i seriously wouldnt bother though, they will never agree!

[Jakebert]

This may be the most ambitious thread I've ever seen.

[HeadAroundU]

I guess, Dead Kennedys refused his skills. :d

[Mr. Gepetto]

Is this a joke?

[drex878]

Is this a joke?

I hope so.

[ANDiTKO]

...or rhythm guitar for Offspring to so that Dexter could sing better and it would be easier for him
Dexter can play guitar and sing at the same time perfectly.

[TheOldMark]

I hope so.


really, really hope so. id bet the farm this kid will never made it out of Croatia, not on a couch flight, not on a 4 speed bike.

[ilovellamas]

really, really hope so. id bet the farm this kid will never made it out of Croatia, not on a couch flight, not on a 4 speed bike.

learn to spell much? lol

I like this thread. It's cute, whether or not it's a joke. :)

[the_GoDdEsS]

I enjoyed this thread too.

really, really hope so. id bet the farm this kid will never made it out of Croatia, not on a couch flight, not on a 4 speed bike.

And I totally bet he will. Don't fool yourself.

[selfDemanDeD]

Nice :D But, as it was said before, you'd better try that as a drummer ;)

[Dead Kennedy]

Thanks to all of you for your suggestions, but i really need that ticket so stop fooling around. And I'm not joking, at least partialy, because if i would get their emails or addresses i would offer them my services instantly. I dont know how to play drums. And, btw, dear TheOldMark, I don't think that you should judge people by the place where they live, because thats not a measurement of their knowledge or their talent. And the flight should be with kosher meal.

[Beheaded]

That's soooo funny.
Please, more!:D

[ad8]

Well, I'm very talented young lad
Do you really think the Offspring would welcome someone who makes them look old? ;)
(I'm wondering more every minute how long this thread has already survived...
I mean is this really on topic?)

[4eh]

Dead Kennedy, are you Ron Welty trying to get back in the band?:D

[ANDiTKO]

Dead Kennedy, are you Ron Welty trying to get back in the band?:D

nope.Dead Kennedy sad that he cant play drums.so he is not ron http://www.adslgr.com/forum/images/smilies/tongue.gif

[jacknife737]

I support the existence of this thread.

[holland25]

I haven't laugh for a long time as much as I did when I read the topic of this thread :D

[selfDemanDeD]

I think that is a trick to get a free ticket to California. ;) sounds boldly.)

[Dead Kennedy]

I could write songs for them too.
I just wrote a song that I called "Hear! My shit is calling your name!". And it goes like that. And, btw, I'm not Ron, I'm much more sexy.

[Little_Miss_1565]

It's good to dream, but let's not let this devolve too much more.

[Harnum]

I love this! <3

[rlplaymaker]

Dead Kennedy, you are truly an inspiration to us all.....Pshhh,, LOL couldn't type that with a straight face!

[Mr. Gepetto]

I could write songs for them too.
I just wrote a song that I called "Hear! My shit is calling your name!".

Again, is this a joke?

[Ninty Man]

MMM... LOL?

They have Higgins on keyboards and in vocals... and he's the only human capable to make dolls heads sound Give it to me baby!

And... are you really that good??? I mean, I'm a newbie drummer and I can play most offspring songs... And I'm not offering me

[SplinterByMyOwnDesign]

I haven't laugh for a long time as much as I did when I read the topic of this thread :D

Same, haha. I Laughed my ass off so hard when I randomly saw it in the list. :D

[4eh]

I could write songs for them too.
I just wrote a song that I called "Hear! My shit is calling your name!". And it goes like that. And, btw, I'm not Ron, I'm much more sexy.


better call it: "Look! My shit is on yur face!" :D

check out band's vacancies)))

[Iamstupid]

Hey, this guy intends to fire Higgins !

This thread should be elected thread of the year. Funny and kind of cute, like Ilovellamas pointed out. Keep it up

[ad8]

This is getting big...
But I still wonder wether it'd be better if Dead Kennedy started his own band because The Offspring might be separated in a couple years and he seems talented enough to make music that will be at least 20 times better than the music of The Offspring :D
That's how I got this thread :D

[findout5]

Hey Dead Kennedy (JFK? lol) maybe you could like...be a guitar tech! You should contact Higgins (he's the stage manager), maybe he'll get you that job! Then you could accidentally brake one of Noodles/Dexter's fingers and be on stage as a temporary replacement... :P

[Ninty Man]

Hey Dead Kennedy (JFK? lol) maybe you could like...be a guitar tech! You should contact Higgins (he's the stage manager), maybe he'll get you that job! Then you could accidentally brake one of Noodles/Dexter's fingers and be on stage as a temporary replacement... :P

Or maybe kill one of them :eek:

[Vera]

The real answer is, you can't. Unless they sell "rad" in grocery stores of Croatia.


I love this thread, even more because it felt appropriate to use 'rad', a word that goes sadly underused in today's world. I punk, you know?

[Flomaster]

Well, I'm very talented young lad, and I would like to play keyboards or rhythm guitar for Offspring to so that Dexter could sing better and it would be easier for him. And I can also sing, but then we would have to dump Dexter.
If anybody know how to contact the band or something, and if anybody is generous enough to buy me business class ticket from Zagreb to Orange County he/she would be welcome at my house anytime. Thanks!!

)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))good luck)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))):D

[Jack-UK]

rofl, please please please type up the lyrics for:

"Hear! My shit is calling your name!".

[killboybowerhead]

if i were the offspring id give him a shot. :).

[Ninty Man]

if i were the offspring id give him a shot. :).

No... i Will BEHEAD HIM!!!

KILL THE FUCKER ON THE FLOOR!!!

[Camilamazed]

The way Dexter's been behaving these days make me think that he can hire the guy just to make most of the people on this thread cry their heart out...

]=D

[Iamstupid]

rofl, please please please type up the lyrics for:

"Hear! My shit is calling your name!".

I second that dude ! If "Hear! My shit is calling your name!" is only the songtitle, I'm pretty curious to the see the lyrics ^^

The way Dexter's been behaving these days make me think that he can hire the guy just to make most of the people on this thread cry their heart out...

]=D

That would be...wow xD Considering that Dexter posts no-news news, why couldn't he hire this guy ? :rolleyes:

[Smash punker]

Well, I'm very talented young lad, and I would like to play keyboards or rhythm guitar for Offspring to so that Dexter could sing better and it would be easier for him. And I can also sing, but then we would have to dump Dexter.
If anybody know how to contact the band or something, and if anybody is generous enough to buy me business class ticket from Zagreb to Orange County he/she would be welcome at my house anytime. Thanks!!

There´s no chance that you would be part of The Offspring. But there´s one thing. If you can play drums better than Pete, then you might have a chance. But I guess, that´s out of question. Sorry and never stop playing their songs :D

[Denial, Revisited]

This may be the most ambitious thread I've ever seen.

LOL! That's perfect.

[holland25]

There´s no chance that you would be part of The Offspring. But there´s one thing. If you can play drums better than Pete, then you might have a chance. But I guess, that´s out of question. Sorry and never stop playing their songs :D

This may be the most stupid person I've ever seen!

[wazzup22]

My dream is to be the guy who walks on stage before the band and tests the guitar and PA system :D

[DirtyYeso]

My dream is to be the guy who walks on stage before the band and tests the guitar and PA system :D

My dream is to be the guy who dances Intermission in a thongue...
LOL

Not really.

[iPunk247]

What the fuck? Yo, is this shit person like for reals? Dead Kennedy (JFK).

What the hell or what in god's heavens is the matter with ya?

Are you seriously joking or something?




Yikes. The Offspring punks might need a male groupie like for sure and a hottie one with big pouty pink/red lips!:rolleyes:

[SkunkIt]

Well, I'm very talented young lad, and I would like to play keyboards or rhythm guitar for Offspring to so that Dexter could sing better and it would be easier for him. And I can also sing, but then we would have to dump Dexter.
If anybody know how to contact the band or something, and if anybody is generous enough to buy me business class ticket from Zagreb to Orange County he/she would be welcome at my house anytime. Thanks!!

I had to quote this. That is all.

[iPunk247]

I had to quote this. That is all.












Kudos. Ditto. Agreed. Indeed.

[SkunkIt]

Kudos. Ditto. Agreed. Indeed.

Quite indeed.

[iPunk247]

Quite indeed.












SkunkIt indeed.

[selfDemanDeD]

Flooderz :) poor boy want's to play in The Offspring and you only laugh :D

[assis]

Well I wished onle to meet Dexter sometime))) Why should anybody join the Offspring? They are good as they are)

[Dead Kennedy]

uh sorry people,im back,i was just talking to dexter hes really excited to see me, from now on,i'll be the guy who sing oyeah on their songs...xDxD (just kidding,still looking for a job and plane ticket)
hear! my shit is calling your name! lyrics(i wrote that song when i was 13,so i forgot some parts)
Maybe one day i'll regret
But not today(quietly spoken)

I'm feeling something inside my womb
Society pulled back into taxi
I'm feeling something inside my womb
Maybe it's my shit calling your name
And maybe it's just diarrhea

REF: Hear! My shit's calling your naaaame x4(different versions)

I just noticed that somebody's following me
Ugly,distorted man with knife in his fist
Maybe it's one of the congressmen
Or maybe just my shadow

REF:

Prayer (solo vocals):
Holy Mother,everything's fucked up
Aren't we here just to breed?
We are mindless zombies, eating themselves
Rising in our glory,and devouring our souls
Holy Mother,go to hell
Why are you letting us...DEGRADE OURSELVES??????
I wanna se the one who judges (x4) OR...(quietly spoken)

REF:

I seems to be diarrhea after all...

[Cock Joke]

hahahahha! I just found the perfect sig quote!

[Venezuelan_Nightmare]

REF:

I seems to be diarrhea after all...

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Diarrhea in Spanish iis: DIARREA... if this help u a little xD try to put some spanish parts just for fun... BTW i love your lyrics

Edit: Could you rec some for us?

[Jack-UK]

I love it.

No really, you made my day.

And yeah, get some youtube videos up or something, im sure Dexter will be on the first plane to Croatia to invite you to record a whole new album from scratch.

[.:SMASH:.]

oh my god.
get out.

[Smash punker]

Well I wished onle to meet Dexter sometime))) Why should anybody join the Offspring? They are good as they are)

Exactly!:cool:

[Denial, Revisited]

Being in The Offspring is a dream we all have... and if not, we all should :D

[iPunk247]

perfect. (10 characters)