Leaving places

[JoY]

I have this irrational fear to move from one place to the other. of course if I have to, it's not much of a problem, for instance going to uni, or whatever. but even then just getting myself to go out the door can take me over 15 minutes.

if after uni I go to my boyfriend, but need to drop by my place to get my things for the next day, I can't bring myself to leave his place to go to mine. like the world will collaps if I don't stay put. if I'm at my place, I can't bring myself to go to his.

most of the times I do decide to move my ass & go to either his, or my place, depending on where I am at that moment, things go wrong, I forget my keys, or cellphone, or something else that's crucial & that I need for the next day.

sometimes I forget something I don't even desperately need, but planned to have on me, like for instance clean socks, or tweezers, or a book I wanted to look into that evening, & I can just break down & cry in disappointment in myself that I *again* managed to forget something. if it gets really bad, I convince the poor guy to go back with me & get it, but most of the times multiple hugs & a glass of red wine do.

anyone else with a problem like this?

[nieh]

No, you're just crazy is all.

No, provided where I'm going is more interesting than just sitting on the computer, I have no problem with getting up and heading out right away. I really, really, really don't like leaving for work, but that's not really what you described at all because it's just one place out of many.

[offspringer24]

i dont know, it could be that you're just being lazy lol, try a bottle of red instead of a glass :D i recommend 'hardys stamp' very nice but getting expensive :(

sorry i could'nt be more helpful :(

are you suffering from depression? thats a really difficult thing because there are soooo many symptons!

[JoY]

I'm not nuts, dammit. :[ just a little neurotic.

I don't like Hardys. it's shitty wine. I drink plenty of wine/alcohol, so I don't think drinking more would be a good recommendation. alcohol is by the way depressogenic, so be careful with your advice, if you combine it with thoughts on depression. anyway, I'm not suffering from depression, as far as I know. & I should know, I know every single symptom.

[Sunny]

bella, i'm very much like that. i have a fear of leaving and forgetting essential stuff. i'm always like... omg... do i have my keys? money? blackberry? did i feed dogs? did i put away stuff they could shred? did i turn off my straightener? the stove? the coffee machine? did i lock the door? etc etc omfg i am fucking crazy.

[nieh]

anyway, I'm not suffering from depression, as far as I know. & I should know, I know every single symptom.

Well then you should know about half of everyone that's suffering from depression have some degree of anosognosia. I'm mostly just teasing though. Has all this been the case for a long time or has it just started recently?

[Vera]

Being stuck home studying most of these days really makes leaving places fucking vital for my own mental health. I'm really happy that I'm going outta town for most of this weekend. So I'm kind of like Josh, except I don't despise leaving for work as I don't work constantly.

[Drafan]

Sometimes I´m able to leave very quickly, while sure everything is OK and I got all I would need and I will arrive on time. But there are days when you wake up and you already know something is wrong. Doing things in wrong order, missing socks, things are acting like they are live, you would forget something anyway, although you checked ten times.

[TheUnholyNightbringer]

I have two homes. My parent's house, and my girlfriend's flat. And I probably split my time about 50/50, so I'm always going backwards and forwards.

It used to be a big deal for me, but it's not so much anymore, mostly because I'm touchingly forgetful and I just -know- I'm gonna forget soemthing. Try and remember everything? I may aswell try and eat my computer. It just isn't gonna happen.

So erm, no, I'm not like that.

[HornyPope]

Sometimes I cry when my penis leaves the butthole... I'm not sure if this is out of empathy, or if it's out of pleasure (the proverbial tears in heaven).
But yeah, I can relate.

[JoY]

bella, i'm very much like that. i have a fear of leaving and forgetting essential stuff. i'm always like... omg... do i have my keys? money? blackberry? did i feed dogs? did i put away stuff they could shred? did i turn off my straightener? the stove? the coffee machine? did i lock the door? etc etc omfg i am fucking crazy.

exactly! sometimes I get paranoid, like, there HAS to be something I'm forgetting & with that feeling I just can't leave. that panicy feeling is incredibly annoying & has turned (over the last 2 years) into panic overall when I go somewhere for over a few hours. like I NEED to stay put, or else the world will collaps. it's irrational & annoying & it even has caused a few "fights" between my boyfriend & me, because it frustrates him to hell that I'm not flexible in this area. a lot of times he has to go back & forth to my place, when I feel I can't leave.

Josh, you goof.

[Sunny]

yeah, it drives my mens up the wall.

i have a few flights coming up, and i'm already dreading the "OMG WHAT DID I FORGET, I MUST'VE FORGOTTEN SOMETHING" freakout i will no doubt experience.

lols@self ;[

[JoY]

one time I organised a trip for like 20 people, guess who forgot her passport. :[

I even once managed to go to a field hockey game without my stick & there have been a couple of times I was on my way to a concert, closed the door behind me, thought "hmm, I feel like I'm missing something, what could it be?" & it turned out to be my violin.

[ad8]

I know that...
I often happen to see myself leaving the house for school not having my backpack with the school stuff ~~

[T-6005]

I'm good at leaving places. Not that I don't forget things on occasion, but I'm generally very good at leaving things with a minimum of fuss, whether it's temporary or I'm actually moving away. It's also not a big problem for me to sort things I want to keep and things I want to throw away - this is assuming the move is more permanent.

Force of habit, I guess.

[batfish]

If you haven't done so already, you could make a list to leave by the door. Stuff to take when generally leaving, stuff to take when going somewhere specific... lists always help me. They take the worry out of my mind.

[riderofthestorm]

If you haven't done so already, you could make a list to leave by the door. Stuff to take when generally leaving, stuff to take when going somewhere specific... lists always help me. They take the worry out of my mind.

Great advice.
I'm a list-obsessive. Everything has to be in lists. I'm especially terrible when I'm planning a holiday or going to stay with my sister - I list what to take immeaditely. I blutack all my lists on my frontdoor, but it works!

[Nina]

My fear is similar to yours, but I found a way to deal with it. I prepare myself in advance, whenever I *know* I'll have enough concentration and time to pack my stuff. Due to my job I pack and unpack quite a lot, and shit - how much it would suck if I forgot something important...therefore I write lists, pack my bags too early and things like that.
What I noticed quite early is that I dont WANT to need much time in the morning, so I started to pick my clothes the night before. I still do it, unless I know I'll have a lot of time between waking up and going out. I just want to be able to think "ah fuck it, I'll just sleep 30min longer" and not have to worry about this. It works! Packing your handbag in advance means you cant forget anything. I'm quite forgetful and hectic, I've "lost" my keys way too often in the past, so I try not to let it happen again very eagerly.

[wheelchairman]

I can't relate to any of this.

Leaving places is easy. If I like a place well enough I expect to come back. Same with people.

[Nina]

Try living without your private pants abroad. You'll look horribly stupid.
I also forgot to bring my handbag once. Which really sucked because there wasnt a shop nearby and walking around with your goodz in your hands (due to lack of pockets) is quite daring in India.

[wheelchairman]

Private pants?

Perhaps that's not a universal concept :p

[JoY]

I can't relate to any of this.

Leaving places is easy. If I like a place well enough I expect to come back. Same with people.

it doesn't really depend on if I like a place. actually, not at all. I'm just terrible at planning things, even if it's a freaking hour in advance. sometimes I don't know where I'll be in thirty minutes, because I haven't made up my mind yet about what I'm going to do & where I'm going to go. if I will study at home, or go to the store to do groceries, or go to my boyfriend's place to pick up things, but then again, I might not need them any time soon, or stay at the uni to do some studying, or to hang out with a couple of people... not having a good sense of time only makes it worse. & then there's the point that beside the fact half of the time I can't really say what I'm going to need to have on me, because I don't know what I'm going to do, I forget a lot of stuff.

making lists is a great advice, one I've heard before pretty recently. my boyfriend desperately wants me to make lists like; "going to Huibert, will need....", "going to parents, will need...", etc. I wonder if I can sort out my chaos by making lists, though, if it'd work. but it's definitely worth a shot.

[Nina]

Private pants?

Perhaps that's not a universal concept :p

as against uniform pants, dear :]

[Little_Miss_1565]

I don't think you should consider going away "leaving" most of the time. I mean, I left home in Indiana. I go back to visit and my mom's house is still my home, but Indiana is where I spent most of my life and is significant for that reason. It holds nothing for me anymore other than my mom. I moved away from Massachusetts but I go back to visit a lot and there are still so many people I love there. I am not there physically but it still bears a significant connection to my life.

Now that I'm in New York, I move around a lot. Every year, really. I'm looking to stop that soon though. I want to find an apartment where I can plonk down for at least 2 years. Doing so much moving around, though, has taught me that you never leave a place so long as there are people or places that you really love that are still there. Also, you don't need at least half the stuff you carry around with you. I recently had a huge disaster in my apartment where I lost more than half of my posessions, and after I got over the initial shock, I've never felt so free in my life.

Don't fear leaving, lady! Think of it as broadening your life. You are adding, not subtracting.

[Tizzalicious]

I don't mind going away, but I DO stress about not forgetting anything. I always make to do lists, and even when I just go to Holland for a week I get stressed when I pack. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, as I fly back and forth every month and have been for the last 1.5 years. Hmmm.

[JoY]

I don't think you should consider going away "leaving" most of the time. I mean, I left home in Indiana. I go back to visit and my mom's house is still my home, but Indiana is where I spent most of my life and is significant for that reason. It holds nothing for me anymore other than my mom. I moved away from Massachusetts but I go back to visit a lot and there are still so many people I love there. I am not there physically but it still bears a significant connection to my life.

Now that I'm in New York, I move around a lot. Every year, really. I'm looking to stop that soon though. I want to find an apartment where I can plonk down for at least 2 years. Doing so much moving around, though, has taught me that you never leave a place so long as there are people or places that you really love that are still there. Also, you don't need at least half the stuff you carry around with you. I recently had a huge disaster in my apartment where I lost more than half of my posessions, and after I got over the initial shock, I've never felt so free in my life.

Don't fear leaving, lady! Think of it as broadening your life. You are adding, not subtracting.

I think you got me the wrong way, Sarah. I don't mind moving into a new home at all! it's brought me to so many places & in so many situations I definitely wouldn't want to have missed. when I moved out & built a new life in Amsterdam, that was magnificent. moving to the Museumsquare in Amsterdam was again a great experience. then I moved into the place to which I owe my boyfriend & now I live nearby the central station. every house I've moved in & out, I've left without a single pinch in my heart, so hey, I'm good at at least that. ;p