Little thing called love [Archive] - Offspring.com Forums

Vikica

04-16-2008, 10:59 AM

We all have felt it at least once. Most of the songs were written in the name of it. Many tears have fallen because of it. Many people have spent all their life looking for it. Why not talk about it?

How do you feel when you're in love? Have you ever been in love with your best friend? Have you already found the person you think you could love forever no matter his/her flaws?

If you have someone to hold his/her hand, tell us how did your ''love romance'' start?

And practical start tips: What do you concider the best way do get someone's number/mail/msn? How would you spend your first date? What is a perfect date for you? Have you ever had a perfect date already?

What kind of a relationship would you like to have? How do you imagine your perfect relationship?

Have you ever found yourself in a song, poem or somethig else?

There are so many questions form my side... Funny thing is that I don't even believe in love and all that. Anyway...

Thanks for posting.

Sunny

04-16-2008, 11:06 AM

There are so many questions form my side... Funny thing is that I don't even believe in love and all that.

i'd say that's remarkably silly of you, considering that "love" is pretty much scientifically proven. unless of course you mean you don't believe that it lasts or whatever.

killer_queen

04-16-2008, 11:15 AM

I'm not really experienced about love and that kind of stuff. But I can say that Kurds are much better lovers than Turks are. You should keep this in mind.

ad8

04-16-2008, 11:16 AM

For me, love has been an utopia for the last years. I'm kinda losing hope that there is such a thing in this world because I never got to experience real love. It just seems like everyone is "in love" to be cool, to satisfy his physical needs or to be respected by other people / get a higher social status. Since ~march 2008, I just wanted to be in a relationship with someone I really love. But then I saw that my family is quite unhappy with my social status and decided that I could at least try to get a girlfriend or something just cause I didn't want to make anything worse. And furthermore, my hope to meet people I can really love has just decreased.

Anka

04-16-2008, 11:22 AM

nice topic
I love one quote from the House MD. it is something like this: "You know how they say you cant live without love, well oxygen is even more important."
but I believe in the love. love doesnt have to be just feelings of two people...it can be love to an animal, or job, or something like that. so even if you are alone you can love something. thats my opinion...

BREAK

04-16-2008, 11:41 AM

How do you imagine your perfect relationship?

I don't.

Funny thing is that I don't even believe in love and all that.

Have fun dying alone.

RickyCrack

04-16-2008, 12:55 PM

for me love is when they let you put it in their pooper. And then they let your jam said dick between they titties. Love is just a really warm feeling; on her chest.

0r4ng3

04-16-2008, 01:24 PM

We all have felt it at least once.
I'm gonna have to disagree with you there.

the_GoDdEsS

04-16-2008, 02:05 PM

There are so many questions form my side... Funny thing is that I don't even believe in love and all that. Anyway...

Oj Vikico, Vikico, jel si ti mlada devojčico?

As the Russian brothers would say: I Punk? :cool:

wheelchairman

04-16-2008, 04:05 PM

I'm gonna have to disagree with you there.

Well it's well known that you're an unfeeling monster.

Although it could be asked Vikico. If you've felt love, how come you don't believe in it?

sKratch

04-16-2008, 11:19 PM

Looking up Love on wikipedia was an excellent idea.

Vikica

04-17-2008, 10:26 AM

Oj Vikico, Vikico, jel si ti mlada devojčico?

jesam, mlada sam, al znam kako je voljeti a da te osoba i ne primjećuje.

for everyone else, I felt love, or something like it, and it burned my heart to ashes. since then I don't really think I will trust someone that easily.

calichix

04-17-2008, 08:28 PM

I don't know if I've been in love. I've been in mutual infatuation and in lust a few times. Right now I've got a mad crush on a fella who is super flighty but we have superduper romantic rendezvouses every month or two and I'm thinking I should get over it because there's no potential for a long term thing and I don't want a sidesalad to be all up in my brain -as if- he was a main course. And I have a best friend who meets every lover/compatibility standard in the world and I used to be crazy about him and I'm attracted to him but I don't want to date him because I'd get sick of him really quick and because all of our friends are mutual, which shouldn't matter but it does. And he has been in full-on too legit to quit love with me for years. ohgad. he's a musician and his band is playing a show next month he asked me to then said, "but you might not wanna go cause all the songs are about you, it might be awkward."

I don't know what standard to set love by. everyone says, "You just know when you're in love." but I haven't been in a relationship where I felt like my world would come crashing down without the person. I've always just felt like, "he's nice and I find myself picking flowers and singing beach boys songs all day after I hang out with him."

IamSam

04-18-2008, 01:06 AM

Love is a social construct created by the hippies. We should go back to the 1950's when there wasn't love. Just this. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7T6VqK3Hbs)

GreenTerror

04-18-2008, 02:28 AM

I've been in very strong like about 3 times before my current relationship thing. Even though I really liked those people for different reasons, there was always just something keeping me from being like "OMG LUV 4 EVER @ U". I don't know, it was just little things that shouldn't matter, but slightly bothered me for some reason, or just something about them that I couldn't see myself being with for a long time.

The one I'm with now, I don't have any of that with, and I'm pretty much completely positive that I do love him/am in love, and I could really see myself spending a very very very long time with. We both have our bitchy/pissy days every now and then, but who doesn't? It's usually not really a big deal and we get over it, anyway. All this may be kinda strange since I've never actually met him face to face yet (we have plans next month, though!), and most internet relationships don't really work or are just a shitty waste of time (and "Omg how the hell can you love someone you've never even met?", right?), but I actually feel like something will seriously work out here. (Also, he posts here. Or used to... 50 points to anyone who guesses right.)

TheUnholyNightbringer

04-18-2008, 03:24 AM

My guess is coke_a_holic. But either way, PM and tell me! I'm really curious.

Vikica

04-18-2008, 03:32 AM

Looking up Love on wikipedia was an excellent idea.

yeah, it's an excellent idea if you need to write a scientific work on a theme of love. :p

Jebus

04-18-2008, 03:35 AM

Please, say it's Adriann because that would be awesome.

Good chance that person has to live in Arizona so either Thomas or Pilz-e. Can't remember the last time I saw Thomas so it's him probably.

Either way, everyone knows Shelby is actually Chris Hanson. Enjoy your FBI.

nieh

04-18-2008, 07:15 AM

but I haven't been in a relationship where I felt like my world would come crashing down without the person.
That's not love, that's dependency.

Looking up Love on wikipedia was an excellent idea.
Sounds like you've been looking for love in all the wrong places.

(Also, he posts here. Or used to... 50 points to anyone who guesses right.)

Justin!?

Endymion

04-18-2008, 07:40 AM

it technically could be a lot of lolable people, but i'm pretty sure i know who.

Vikica

04-18-2008, 07:43 AM

Sounds like you've been looking for love in all the wrong places.

And what is the right place to look for it? Street, bus, subway, train? Or some club? Maybe school? I think you can look for it all over the world but it will find you when you wont expect it. That's why it shakes one's world to the basics. Yet, we all long for it. Shit, I wish to get a good feeling about the whole thing at least once. :(

nieh

04-18-2008, 07:43 AM

Web Dude? Steven Shaw? Matt Vore?

edit: way to ruin my lame joke.

Sinister

04-18-2008, 07:55 AM

Love is when two people stalk each other.

0r4ng3

04-18-2008, 08:05 AM

"Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds."

HK-47, you are so wise.

wheelchairman

04-18-2008, 08:58 AM

That's not love, that's dependency.

I would've said "That's because you're not 15" but to each their own. ;)

Vera

04-18-2008, 10:30 AM

Laura, your bff-guy sounds like the type of romantic film thing where you will date some charming guy who ends up being an asshole and then you suddenly magically notice the guy who was there all along.

Shit, I watch too many movies.

I've never been in love, because none of my crushes have liked me back equally. So it's just been very superficial.

Rag Doll

04-18-2008, 12:58 PM

I've always just felt like, "he's nice and I find myself picking flowers and singing beach boys songs all day after I hang out with him."

But that is SUCH a fucking awesome feeling.

calichix

04-18-2008, 02:05 PM

so true. <3 maybe I'm over complicating love.

sanni, my life is one of those teen movies. part-time lover is the buff tan-to-the-point-of-ridiculousness ultra studmuffin manslut and bff is the quick-witted musician with glasses. jeeeeeeeeeezus churist.

GreenTerror

04-18-2008, 02:20 PM

Oh dear, you guys are funny : p

nieh

04-18-2008, 02:26 PM

I'm curious, I must know.

GreenTerror

04-18-2008, 02:38 PM

http://offspring.com/forums/member.php?u=7704

Short_Attention_Span

04-18-2008, 03:16 PM

I'm gonna have to disagree with you there.

And so am I. Never been in love. Never had a relationship. So, ha.

nieh

04-18-2008, 03:21 PM

http://offspring.com/forums/member.php?u=7704

I didn't realize it's been that long since he posted.

Vikica

04-18-2008, 03:23 PM

And so am I. Never been in love. Never had a relationship. So, ha.

ok, ok... some people have never been in love. still, I bet there's something you guys can say.

Endymion

04-18-2008, 04:55 PM

wait, a /b/tard stopped posting? why?

BREAK

04-18-2008, 05:22 PM

calichix

04-18-2008, 05:50 PM

sounds like you haven't found that special someone yet, jacob. <3<3<3 <---@

Rag Doll

04-18-2008, 06:10 PM

holy fucking negativity, mr. crankypants...

BREAK

04-18-2008, 06:31 PM

I am in love, I'm just not deluding myself about it. There ain't no special someone for me any more than there's a special someone for anyone else. They're all just people.

Jebus

04-18-2008, 07:54 PM

I wouldn't go out with Professor Chaos simply on the basis that Ruroken would be the best man if you were to get married.

Endymion

04-18-2008, 08:03 PM

i seem to recall liking prof chaos. he should start posting again.

wheelchairman

04-19-2008, 04:39 AM

I think the problem with these questions is that they'd be too embarrassing to answer. Perhaps it's a language barrier, which is why the English is so prosy-wosy.

Sunny

04-19-2008, 10:22 AM

Look, love isn't some extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime fairytale magic, it's the same mundane banality that pervades everything else in life. With very few exceptions, you are NEVER going to fall head-over-heels in love with someone who just happens to conform to every last requirement of the ideal partner you have in mind. It's not going to happen. Stop believing in lies. What's more likely is you'll find someone you think you can't live without, and then find out much too late that you were wrong. Oops.

Keeping a relationship together is hard work, and most of that work entails not putting your foot through this fucking person's stupid face.

Not saying you won't have good times. Just don't go looking for perfect happiness. The only part that comes anywhere close to that is sex, or whatever other physical intimacy (it's all the same to me).

Most of you are going to end up with the wrong person. It happens. Stop setting yourself up to be disappointed in everyone you happen to be fucking at the time and you'll be fine.

One part i agree with is that maintaining a good relationship takes effort. i think there are a lot of misconceptions about love, which is probably why so many people end up divorced. like, we're told that getting married is the culmination of a relationship, and once that happens, you will live happily ever after in 100% unadulterated marital bliss, no effort required. not quite so. it takes work, just because dealing with human beings in general is a bitch, and dealing with another human being on such an intimate level is obviously even harder.

to me, the coolest part about love, aside from the happy feelings in my special place, is the partnership that seems to develop with time. i actually strongly disagree with you about the "there is no special person out there for you" bit. i'm not talking about a cosmic alignment or fate hand-picking the best mate for you... but some people are more compatible with you than others. i think when you fall in love, it's sort of easy to exclaim "OMFG SOULMATEZ"... but the really cool part is, as time goes by, you realize how much truth there is to it. i got married because i wanted my mens and i to be an actual *unit* together in all things, and i'm so happy i can now say we make an awesome team in everything we do.

thinking that a relationship will be 100% perfect all the time no matter what is pretty naive, but i feel that setting yourself up for disappointment creates an attitude that's a surefire way to fuck up a relationship. you can certainly find a balance between the two, where you don't expect unconditional perfection at all times, and are flexible enough to embrace the inevitable changes that *will* happen to your relationship. i think it's key to understand that intimate relationships evolve, but describing it as "disappointment" is a really negative way of looking at it.

my husband wants me to amend this post with "magdalena had no pants on while writing this"... and well, there is some truth to that statement. ;x

ya. love = <3

calichix

04-19-2008, 12:35 PM

word. it's easy to fall in love with someone you don't gel with. special someones gel perfectly together in a bffz who do it sort of way.

Melissa_ab90

04-20-2008, 01:26 PM

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death !! (Wilde):p

ilovellamas

04-20-2008, 02:23 PM

I don't know what standard to set love by. everyone says, "You just know when you're in love." but I haven't been in a relationship where I felt like my world would come crashing down without the person.

I don't think that could even ever happen to me. I don't think I could ever be in love by that definition. That definition sounds to me like how girls who live very dependent lives define love.

I've told three people in my life that I loved them/was in love with them in a romantic way, and I meant it every time. I also had a boyfriend a while back that I denied I was in love with, so I never told him.

I definitely don't think love for me involves dependency, or a need to be with a person. To me, the love I've felt for a significant other was similar to the love I have for my close friends. The only real difference within is that I'm physically attracted to and have a physical relationship with the significant other.

I guess it really is all just in how you personally define the word.

wheelchairman

04-20-2008, 02:28 PM

Yeah because we all define love as dependency? heh what are you talking about Llamas? I'm pretty sure that Calix didn't mean that she thought that was the definition, only that she lacked one.

ilovellamas

04-20-2008, 03:09 PM

Yeah because we all define love as dependency? heh what are you talking about Llamas? I'm pretty sure that Calix didn't mean that she thought that was the definition, only that she lacked one.

haha, what's new... I'm being misunderstood :P No, I definitely don't think everyone, or even most people, define love as dependency. In fact, half my point was that most people don't consider it as such. To quote myself, "That definition sounds to me like how girls who live very dependent lives define love."

My overall point was just that I think everyone has a slightly different definition, and it seemed like calichix was saying she's never experienced love how it's defined as dependency... and I was trying to say that I think that's kind of normal.

Rag Doll

04-21-2008, 09:27 AM

word. it's easy to fall in love with someone you don't gel with. special someones gel perfectly together in a bffz who do it sort of way.

Laura says the best stuff, all the time, 4srs.

Sunny

04-21-2008, 09:32 AM

agreed, and on that note, i don't get like... not being BFFs with your significant other. i mean... how could you not?
...unless you're just in it for the convenience of having a steady someone to fuck, of course.

ad8

04-21-2008, 09:45 AM

Well, although this is not 100% on topic, I want to know what you think about this case of love/no love...
Cause for me, it's like many people I know just have physically based relationships and say "ooooooh I love him sooo much".
Now I wonder whether this is just a part of being a child/adolescent (with 17/18 years) or if they don't have no feelings for this...
What do you think? I mean I feel really alone about waiting for real love in my environment and not this "have a girlfriend to fit in"-kinda love.:(

Rag Doll

04-21-2008, 09:53 AM

seriously. having a relationship where you aren't all bffs is just...meh =\. just buy a vibrator or a fleshlight.

ad8

04-21-2008, 10:31 AM

Why can't people near me think like this? :(

wheelchairman

04-21-2008, 10:59 AM

Rag Doll

04-21-2008, 11:14 AM

Why can't people near me think like this? :(

I think it might be an age thing. Your profile says you're 17. Is that right? Sunny and I are both in our 20's....things kind of change a bit when it comes to relationships when you get older.

And Per, I've got nothing against one night stands at all. Just people that seem to want their relationship to just be like one night stand after another.

wheelchairman

04-21-2008, 11:21 AM

That's also a phase. It's a general tendency for people who are single long enough to start thinking "man wouldn't it be great if I had just one person to spend my time with, I miss that." Then as soon as you're anchored you start thinking "Man I wish I had the freedom to sleep around all I wanted."

I suppose the mature part is when people realize that these are inevitable and ultimately non constructive feelings. But they really are just phases.

ad8

04-21-2008, 11:29 AM

I think it might be an age thing. Your profile says you're 17. Is that right? Sunny and I are both in our 20's....things kind of change a bit when it comes to relationships when you get older.

I hope so. I mean, I am a year younger than many people in my classes(yep, I am 17) and still, It seems like I am one of the most mature persons there... Or am I just more of a moralist than everyone else?:(

BREAK

04-21-2008, 11:43 AM

seriously. having a relationship where you aren't all bffs is just...meh =\.

Well that's duh. But think about how much time you have to spend with a person before you can develop that sort of bond. You know how much time?

A lot.

I guess some people might hit it off right away, and claim later "Ooh I knew all along/luv @ 1st sight" blahdy blah blah, but for the majority of people, this won't be the case. But because we're told to believe that it will (or at least, that it should) work out that way for everyone, our minds might play tricks on us and have us thinking the relationship is deeper/more exciting/destined for longevity in a way that it is not.

The reason why most people are in good relationships is because they were lucky. You took a chance on someone, it could've gone either way, but you lucked out. People get into a relationship, and THEN they fall in love. I think it sucks when people want it to happen the other way around.

Sunny

04-21-2008, 11:44 AM

Hmm what no one seems to admit in this thread is that meaningless one night stands are almost a better feeling. A kind of exploration/conquest type of thing. Hopefully a confidence booster, if you don't screw up. heh.

well, considering that the thread is about love, i didn't really think of bringing up one night stands.

i dunno. i haven't been *single* in years, and i don't miss it at all. the dating/conquest/chase game gets really arduous... not to mention the problem with random hookups is the inconsistence in quality. i like knowing that when i get some action, it will most certainly be good. unless my dog decides to chew on my foot or something... but that's a different story altogether.

Sunny

04-21-2008, 11:56 AM

Well that's duh. But think about how much time you have to spend with a person before you can develop that sort of bond. You know how much time?

A lot.

on a sort of related note... what weirds me out - personally - is when people decide to get married before moving in together. i know there are a lot of factors (family, religion, etc) that convince people to decide against cohabitation before marriage... but oh dear lord, i think it's crucial. i feel you need to spend a lot of time together, get on each other's nerves a lot and learn about their atrocious habits to really make an informed decision.

so, when i said "i do", i knew full well that the fucker would leave my precious $17 tub of toothpaste open and leaking into the sink for the rest of my days. not that it's a good thing, necessarily *shakes fist @ mens* but... i knew what i was getting myself into. and a lot of people don't, because prior to marriage they just met on civilized dinner and movie dates. and then it's like OMFG I CANT BE AROUND U ANYMORE.

wheelchairman

04-21-2008, 12:12 PM

well, considering that the thread is about love, i didn't really think of bringing up one night stands.

i dunno. i haven't been *single* in years, and i don't miss it at all. the dating/conquest/chase game gets really arduous... not to mention the problem with random hookups is the inconsistence in quality. i like knowing that when i get some action, it will most certainly be good. unless my dog decides to chew on my foot or something... but that's a different story altogether.

This thread has been about love, but just barely and has more to do with relationships as a whole. It certainly has not developed in the manner the original poster intended, which was a fairly typical Q&A type scenario. Probably because the questions and their corresponding answers were either too stupid or too personal to be taken seriously so publicly.

And I also haven't been single in years and I have no intent of renacting that period either. The advantage of being in a relationship from the male perspective is mostly that I no longer have to look nice or be good at making conversation. Oh not to mention all of Maartje's domestic responsibilities. That little homemaker. There is however a certain degree of freedom when the only feelings you need to take into account for anything you do, are your own. You can then allot your time accordingly.

Oh and I completely agree on the living together thing. In this day and age you would think that it would be THE logical decision to live together first, as opposed to afterwards.

Rag Doll

04-21-2008, 12:26 PM

The advantage of being in a relationship from the male perspective is mostly that I no longer have to look nice

My boyfriend now rarely shaves and has perpetual "bed head"...and not always in a good way, cause it tends to look like Conan O'Brien's hair put on Harry Potter =\

Anyway, I definitely agree with the living together thing. I spend roughly 5-6 days a week "living" with my boyfriend. By this I mean, he sleeps at my house, leaves for work, goes to class, does what he has to do, and comes back. Whether I'm there or not, since he has a key to the house. It's as close to "living together" as we can financially get. But like Sunny said....I know he's going to drink all my vitamin water and leave his clothes hanging out the dresser and try to drive me nuts forever. Whereas my best friend has never spent more than like...2 nights/full days in a row with her boyfriend, and usually in a hotel or something. And they're getting engaged soon. Good luck to her...

IamSam

04-21-2008, 12:32 PM

Sunny

04-21-2008, 12:51 PM

Anyway, I definitely agree with the living together thing. I spend roughly 5-6 days a week "living" with my boyfriend. By this I mean, he sleeps at my house, leaves for work, goes to class, does what he has to do, and comes back. Whether I'm there or not, since he has a key to the house. It's as close to "living together" as we can financially get. But like Sunny said....I know he's going to drink all my vitamin water and leave his clothes hanging out the dresser and try to drive me nuts forever.

i am quite fortunate because we like different kinds of vitamin water (he likes the most VILE kinds, let me tell you)... otherwise he would drink all of mine. however, i often wake up to find my yogurt with reeses pieces GONE. fucking pissed. it's my breakfast!
;'( :'(

ad8

04-21-2008, 01:08 PM

This is just my opinion, but I don't see how 'opposites attract.' I'm pretty outgoing and I attracted to people like me who are outgoing, have some semblance of morals, and tend to 'know' what they are doing in life. I don't really like girls that are 'party hardy,' or immature, or overly quiet, or humorless. I like people who (whom?) I can joke around with. I'd rather spend my life with someone like me instead of someone completely different than me. One of us would end up dead.

Same. I just can't imagine how I could stand someone who is like the opposite of me all the time. But some small differences are ok. I imagine that it could also get a little boring if she would be EXACTLY like me all the time. That'd be a little quiet and boring ;)

IamSam

04-21-2008, 01:11 PM

i am quite fortunate because we like different kinds of vitamin water (he likes the most VILE kinds, let me tell you)... otherwise he would drink all of mine. however, i often wake up to find my yogurt with reeses pieces GONE. fucking pissed. it's my breakfast!
;'( :'(

And what kinds are not 'vile?' I'd like to know...I've only tried one that I didn't think tasted like bull urine and that was Dragonfruit.

Sunny

04-21-2008, 01:20 PM

i think dragonfruit is nasty. i like 'revive', 'formula 50' and 'charge + -'. i'll also drink 'essential' if i must. =/

Rag Doll

04-21-2008, 01:46 PM

Mr. Sunnies would drink all my vitamin water too then =\

As for agreeing on everything and being the same person....yawwwwn. it's good to have a lot of stuff in common, but i feel all funny (in a good way!) if the mens disagrees with me and intelligently states his point of view...followed by attacking me with tickles and whatnot. even if it's on stupid shit, like whether blue is a color or a flavor or both.

nieh

04-21-2008, 01:49 PM

I'd say both.

And the opposites attract thing, I'm generally on the quiet side and I get along better with people that don't shut up (but, you know, in a good way). Two people that are naturally really quiet just leads to boredom in the long run, but being around someone that talks so much gives you something to jump in and talk about as well.

IamSam

04-21-2008, 03:34 PM

i think dragonfruit is nasty. i like 'revive', 'formula 50' and 'charge + -'. i'll also drink 'essential' if i must. =/

Huh...I'll have to give those a try.

calichix

04-21-2008, 11:37 PM

"dependent" kind of love isn't really limited to dumb/dependent girls. I mean, listen to hank williams. I feel like I've experienced love on a doo-wop level but not on a classic country level.

I live with a bunch of dude housemates and it's cool having stimulating conversations when I need them (I love my girlfriends and they're all a lot smarter than the dudes I cohabz with but you don't want to talk about the chaos theory when youre with your ladies you wanna say, "*orgasmic sigh* this accai berry smoothie is bomb. anyway, so he was babytalking my vag and I was like.....")) but living with men fucking sucks. but I guess it's different if you love him/ your pootytang can persuade him to clean up after himself a little bit/ youve got a live in booty call/ he's someone you chose rather than ended up with. but do you try as hard not to be a raging bitch when the dude does something whack like eating your tomatoes as you would with a roomie? and does your nice girl smell overpower his gnarly boy smell eventually?

Vera

04-22-2008, 01:52 AM

I would read the Bible if rewritten by Laura.

Srsly.

wheelchairman

04-22-2008, 07:25 AM

Sure but it'd be waaaaay harder to interpret if she re-wrote it.

I have a feeling she wasn't sober in that last post. Which begs the question, how often is she sober?

BREAK

04-22-2008, 08:37 AM

on a sort of related note... what weirds me out - personally - is when people decide to get married before moving in together. i know there are a lot of factors (family, religion, etc) that convince people to decide against cohabitation before marriage... but oh dear lord, i think it's crucial. i feel you need to spend a lot of time together, get on each other's nerves a lot and learn about their atrocious habits to really make an informed decision.

so, when i said "i do", i knew full well that the fucker would leave my precious $17 tub of toothpaste open and leaking into the sink for the rest of my days. not that it's a good thing, necessarily *shakes fist @ mens* but... i knew what i was getting myself into. and a lot of people don't, because prior to marriage they just met on civilized dinner and movie dates. and then it's like OMFG I CANT BE AROUND U ANYMORE.

While I agree with you on principle, I think you oversimplify the matter. Hardly anybody takes the decision to get married as lightly as you say. In most cases, they will be two people who have spent every available moment together for however long an amount of time they think is necessary, and so have had plenty of opportunities to see each other at their worst. Of course, there's still lots of stuff that it's impossible to learn about a person until after the living together starts, but some people would look at those as little fun surprises that could potentially keep the relationship interesting, but hardly issues that would make or break it. I doubt anybody goes into marriage thinking "If this person doesn't squeeze the toothpaste out right, FUCK EM I DIVORCE U."

As for agreeing on everything and being the same person....yawwwwn. it's good to have a lot of stuff in common, but i feel all funny (in a good way!) if the mens disagrees with me and intelligently states his point of view...followed by attacking me with tickles and whatnot. even if it's on stupid shit, like whether blue is a color or a flavor or both.

The ability to argue is absolutely essential for any mature relationship. Without that, all you've got is two people who are scared to talk to each other about anything.

living with men fucking sucks. but I guess it's different if you love him/ your pootytang can persuade him to clean up after himself a little bit

You love how sloppy we men are. All women do. If a guy was neat (at least, in the same way that girls are), you'd pick up some serious gaydar interference.

Vikica

04-22-2008, 09:18 AM

it's nice to see a mature discussion on a thread like this... :)

marriage is a serious thing that people sould think of real hard before getting into it, I agree. for that matter I should give my neighbour as a bad example of a person with low sense of responsibility. he's 21 and his girlfriend is 18 (in my country you become fully independent when you turn 18). he's still looking for a real job and the girl is just few months older than me and still going to highschool (education system is also a bit different). long story short... they're getting married because she got pregnant and he has to be the responsible one. that's not a lonely case but I don't see love in all that, I don't even see compability between two people who were dating for a few months and now they should like... live together.

on the other side you've got kids like me (or ad8) who just sit and wait for the perfect thing to come along. still, there's no perfection in this world so I know that mr. Perfect will never come my way. hell yeah, I miss having a boyfriend, having someone holding you hand or kissing you all over the neck but I know my time will come and shore I'll give my best not to miss it. I don't need something superficial that would last for a few moths or two-three years before we both find out we don't fit together and that we are together just out of habit.

I see kids of my age changing boyfriends/girlfriends like socks and I miss the big picture, hell, I even think that there is no big picture in all that. I prefer talking ''love'' and that kind of stuff with people who can really say something about it instead of people who see the person next to them as a fancy key-chain on two legs.

as I said when I started this thread, I don't believe in love, no one made me believe in it so far but I believe that there is a name for a coctail of emotions you get hit by when you sit back and think about what you have with the person next to you. what you got for all you gave and what you gave for all you got.

Sunny

04-22-2008, 09:43 AM

While I agree with you on principle, I think you oversimplify the matter. Hardly anybody takes the decision to get married as lightly as you say. In most cases, they will be two people who have spent every available moment together for however long an amount of time they think is necessary, and so have had plenty of opportunities to see each other at their worst. Of course, there's still lots of stuff that it's impossible to learn about a person until after the living together starts, but some people would look at those as little fun surprises that could potentially keep the relationship interesting, but hardly issues that would make or break it. I doubt anybody goes into marriage thinking "If this person doesn't squeeze the toothpaste out right, FUCK EM I DIVORCE U."

i don't think people take the decision lightly. i just think cohabitation prior to marriage is vastly underrated.

of course most people spend plenty of time together before they get married. still, i believe that "spending time together" and "living together" are two completely different experiences, for obvious reasons. mens and i were inseparable before we moved in together, but the latter was a lot more challenging obviously. no, people don't go into marriage thinking "if you drink my soda, it's over", but from my experience, they go into it somewhat unprepared. i think moving in together once you get married proves to be overwhelming for a lot of people; you have a new roommate you just made a (hopefully) lifetime commitment to, and there is a lot of things you need to adjust to. and suddenly, your magical knight in a shining armor pees on the seat or your beautiful bride leaves hair in the shower drain.
i like surprises and all, but i can think of many better and more exciting ones than "my new husband eats all my treats". out of all the surprises i've received over the course of our marriage, stuff like that is by far my least favorite. flowers > dirty socks stuffed in the clean sock drawer... anytime. ;D

to each their own, of course. if someone is comfortable entering marriage not having lived with the person before, hey, whatever. i personally wanted to "test drive" my future husband thoroughly (lols) because i took my promise to him very seriously. i wanted to know what i'm getting myself into, because i felt that knowledge was essential to making my commitment *real* and not a pipe dream.

all of the above also sums up my view on sex before marriage, obviously.

BREAK

04-22-2008, 12:47 PM

i don't think people take the decision lightly. i just think cohabitation prior to marriage is vastly underrated.

That may have been true even just 45 years ago, but now it seems to be the standard. Outside of religious people and crazed-ass conservatives, I don't see anybody who thinks cohabitation is anything but beneficial.

You may have wanted a test drive, but imo most people don't approach it like that. Cohabitation is often seen as an end in itself, not necessarily a training ground for marriage. In this sense, I don't really see what difference it makes whether you're married first or not. You're going to discover unpleasant things about the person either way, and learn whether or not you're able to live with them, etc., but except in the most drastic cases, I don't think the logistics of living together differ. The only difference seems to be that marriage is seen as more difficult to get out of, but it's not like it's easy to walk away from someone once you've moved in with them.

Anybody is going to be difficult to live with at times. If the relationship is strong enough to begin with, and both people are dedicated to making it work (or alternately, afraid enough to be alone) it will overcome whatever little problems (and so far, all the problems that have been mentioned here seem very minor) arise once you start sharing living space.

all of the above also sums up my view on sex before marriage, obviously.

Except for this. Here's a different matter entirely. If you end up with someone you don't like to sex, the relationship is FUCKED (or you've got a lot of hard work ahead of you). At least, if you're looking for fulfillment and joy and aren't just grabbing a partner, do-si-do for appearances and companionship.

ad8

04-22-2008, 01:37 PM

your magical knight in a shining armor pees on the seat did this happen to you? ...just curious:D
...you see, I don't have anything important to say anymore... I think you guys summed it up pretty well.

Rag Doll

04-22-2008, 01:39 PM

did this happen to you? ...just curious:D

from personal experience...depending on how much sleep/alcohol they have had, they ALL do that =\

ad8

04-22-2008, 01:54 PM

from personal experience...depending on how much sleep/alcohol they have had, they ALL do that =\

Does this mean that I am part of a rare species of men?:D
I don't think of having done something like this while being drunk... but maybe I didn't even recognise it since I was too drunk to recognise anything;)

sKratch

04-22-2008, 02:56 PM

Hmm what no one seems to admit in this thread is that meaningless one night stands are almost a better feeling. A kind of exploration/conquest type of thing. Hopefully a confidence booster, if you don't screw up. heh.

I disagree. Confidence boost, sure. But I always felt a little off after a one night deal. Guess it's not my thing.

wheelchairman

04-22-2008, 04:44 PM

Then you've probably been single for too long.

Ah yes back to those days where you talked about your girlfriend all the time. Sorry I suck for still killing the joke despite your perhaps personal misgivings.

ruroken

04-25-2008, 06:38 PM

http://offspring.com/forums/member.php?u=7704
What the fuck? Roger...? I don't believe that. There's no way Roger would, you know, give a fuck about being in a relationship. Much less one over the internet. Are you sure its mutual? Because Adriann really liked Roger, but I know he didn't feel exactly the same. He has never even mentioned 'love' or anything even remotely close. He has never shown any interest in anybody with a vagina. Not that he's gay. There's just no way Roger would say "I love you" seriously to anyone. He's not like that.
I wouldn't go out with Professor Chaos simply on the basis that Ruroken would be the best man if you were to get married.
hahaha where did that come from?