whaddya tink of dis?

[livingdeadgirl]

i wrote this and dont know whether it should be a song or a poem...... and i wanna know wot y'all lovely peeps thnk of it!!!!

No more
pick me up,
stop my falling,
can you hear me?
its you im calling.

cant take the pain
my heart is bleeding
its been ripped out
but its still beating

i try to hide,
but im always seen,
my life is now
a perfect has been.

im breaking down
too fast to see,
cant take it anymore
please help me.

i hate my life
the way it is,
but i cant help it......

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT.

i cant stand it anymore,
i feel abandoned,
my pain is painful
and so is the truth
about you.

im a fool to believe
all the lies
you said were truth

can anyone hear
my painful cry?
this is how bad my life was ruined.

ITS ALL YOUR FAULT.

im on my knees
begging please,
please. no. more.

confusion.
hate and lies.

no more,
leave me alone!

well? tell me wot u think!! :D

[Sunny]

oh man, that grinning smiley is totally out of place, considering how depressing your poem is.

[RXP]

Hahaha nice poem, cliche but I like it.

[wheelchairman]

You could write songs for Linkin Park.

[livingdeadgirl]

wow. didnt think any1 would like it!! thanks!! and the smiley wasnt my idea......... da voices in my head told me to!

[livingdeadgirl]

You could write songs for Linkin Park.

wow didnt think it were that good! thanks!!

[Tijs]

Haha, nice one.

[Linda]

Very nice poem.

If I may ask, what astrological sign are you?

[wheelchairman]

wow didnt think it were that good! thanks!!
1 m s0 s4d. :(

[Jojan]

Don't like it.

[Obie2trice]

Me neither

[intothevalleyofdeath]

not unique at all

[MirandaV]

I've read enough poems like that, it's so depressing.

It's always about a boy that doesn't want the girl anymore and the girl wants to die for him.

[Not Ozymandias]

im on my knees
begging please
Don't use that rhyme again, it's been done hundreds of times in songs.

[.tripboy]

You could write songs for Linkin Park.
She can't have my job.

[Radi0_havana52]

i liked it nice and depressing

[Not Ozymandias]

You would.

[latinospunkunidos]

its kinda cool... depressing.. but cool

[Jamie]

really good, i write stuff a like that too exept there more like lyrics for songs from my band but anyway it was good, keep writing!

I seem like everyone’s shrink
Just because I understand the way they think
I’m the only one who doesn’t care
About here hair, or what they wear
I’m just happy with who I am
But they cant seem to understand
If there so worried about there complexion
They will turn in the wrong direction
OR
Everyone strives for perfection
Who cares about defections?

are some of mine tell me which ending u like better keep poasting if u write more poems!

[latinospunkunidos]

really good, i write stuff a like that too exept there more like lyrics for songs from my band but anyway it was good, keep writing!

I seem like everyone’s shrink
Just because I understand the way they think
I’m the only one who doesn’t care
About here hair, or what they wear
I’m just happy with who I am
But they cant seem to understand
If there so worried about there complexion
They will turn in the wrong direction
OR
Everyone strives for perfection
Who cares about defections?
are some of mine tell me which ending u like better keep poasting if u write more poems!
that last part is actually cool

[livingdeadgirl]

Very nice poem.

If I may ask, what astrological sign are you?

cancer. y?

[Obie2trice]

cause you are weird?

[Talman]

I'm not gonna read anything by someone who uses "da" as an actual word unless of course it's scottish slang for dad. But not in exchange for "the"

[livingdeadgirl]

ok. dont bother me!! :D

[livingdeadgirl]

is any one actually reading this all the way through?