offspring quotes - your favourite

[ATOM_01]

they dont have that many, but the ones they do have are pretty funny. My favourite one is

"Noodles can play the first two seconds to any song you can name!"

[Me 2]

When did Dexter say that?

My favorite is when Noodles says, "A cigarette never killed anyone." in the Huck It video.

[leo3375]

"Look, man, I'm not gonna beg you, all right? 'Cause I don't beg! Noodles does not beg! All right?"

"'You used to be good but now you are old und fat.'" (Dexter impersonating a German fan insulting Matt Freeman)

There was something about Atom having a head injury and two broken feet but I forget the exact quote.

[JohnnyNemesis]

My favorite was when a fan asked Noodles this:

If you were a superhero, what would your superpower be?

His response:

I'd settle for decent vision, actually

Love that one.

[leo3375]

"Yes, I'm colorblind, and what the hell is 'orange?'" (Noodles on the other component of his shitty vision)

[Manic subsidal]

"what a load of crap that song is"

[ATOM_01]

When did Dexter say that?

My favorite is when Noodles says, "A cigarette never killed anyone." in the Huck It video.

After the band had performed So Alone at Glastonbury 95.

[TheHulaChick]

I like this one

"Do something every day that scares you, even if it's just opening the fridge and looking at the leftovers" - Noodles

[Obie2trice]

lol that one is good indeed :D

[TheHulaChick]

I found that one in magazine article, I think it was Noodle's motto for the new year. This isn't really a quote but I thought it was funny so I'll write it down (hope I've remembered it properly)

(Noodles was talking about taking his daughter to a Sum 41 concert)

"My daughter and I both love Sum 41 but for different reasons, she really admires their song craft and musical talent, while I think they're just totally cute and awesome!"

[Tijs]

"My daughter and I both love Sum 41 but for different reasons, she really admires their song craft and musical talent, while I think they're just totally cute and awesome!"
Haha that one is damn great.

From some German program:
Interviewer "How do you protect your properties against the evil mob?"
Noodles "Armed security forces, we've essentially hired an army of our own. We're starting a small county."
Dexter "We bought some arms from Saudi Arabia, some tanks and canons and put them in front of the house. Stuff like that."
Noodles "I've got a SCUD missile launcher in my backyard, it's awesome. It's power."
Kinda long quote but who cares.

[Obie2trice]

It made me laugh, thanxs Tijs :D

[Ditol]

"throw shit at Greg onstage" - Noodles

[Funky Donkey]

(Americana)

Dexter: alright Noodles What you think? I'm gona pass this one off to you.
Noodles: I'm Thinkin' good times here tonight, good times (cheers)
Dexter: good times yeah good times and what a sexy fucking audiance we have here tonight. (cheers) Just look at em' you guys are sexy!!! (cheers)Just ozing with sex, with ozing with it.
I wish we could keep on going, we could keep on going like this all night we could just talk to the audiance for a long time. Maybe take a nice long break? Get to know everybody a little better? You know what i'm talking about? You know what i'm saying?
Noodles: read em' some poetry tell some jokes?
Dexter Yeah something like that I don't know?
Noodles: or we could play a song?
Dexter: You guys want you hear a song?
Noodles We'll just have an uncomfortable silance for a little while.

now thats hilarious!!!!

(Staring At The Sun)

From Japan August 15, 2004

[Unnatural Disaster]

(Right After Playing Gone Away in a concert)

Noodles: "I've got a fucking hangover man!!!!"
Dexter: *laughs*
Noodles:"........Was that too much?"

[GreenTerror]

"Don't take any shit"
-Noodles

[ATOM_01]

I found that one in magazine article, I think it was Noodle's motto for the new year. This isn't really a quote but I thought it was funny so I'll write it down (hope I've remembered it properly)

(Noodles was talking about taking his daughter to a Sum 41 concert)

"My daughter and I both love Sum 41 but for different reasons, she really admires their song craft and musical talent, while I think they're just totally cute and awesome!"

haha, funny. i think that one was from one of his journal entries

[ATOM_01]

here's another one i like:

"Alright thanks a lot. We wrote this next song about prison cause', prison is cool right" - Dexter before doing Walla Walla

[The_Next_Ron_Welty]

The best was in the huck it video when theyre doing LAPD and dexter forgets the words to the last verse.. Another time they were on muchmusic and some guy called in and said that he loved the new album before it even came out. so dexter said that the rcmp were on theyre way to his house to arrest him. funny stuff, you had to be there

[pretty_fly_white_guy858]

When did Dexter say that?

My favorite is when Noodles says, "A cigarette never killed anyone." in the Huck It video.
Mine to. lol. "I enjoy the finer things in life, red wine, classical music, a ciggerate never killed anybody"
I drew a picture of Noodles all cartoony like and it has that at the bottom

[pretty_fly_white_guy858]

Or another one is
"Throw shit at Greg on stage"
-Noodles

[ATOM_01]

(Talking about skinheads with Joey Ramone)

Dexter: But we don't draw too many skinheads anymore, I think we're too wimpy for them.
[Joey: They follow Green Day now.
Dexter: I dunno, I think Green Day might be too wimpy for them as well.

[Lithuanian Offspring]

Ron Welty said this one: "Fuck you, rain."
They were havinga a concert and it started to rain all over their stuff.
Dexter and Noodles were talking about Hit That and Noodles said the following:
"Its about SCREWING!!!!" The interviewer replied with: "Thanks for following day time radio policies." And Noodles says: "Well, I'm a professional."

[TheHulaChick]

Here are some funny parts from an old Offspring chat,

Do you think that being in a band has differed from your original plans for life?
Dexter: Well Noodles always dreamt of being a janitor.

Do you think stupid people should be able to vote?
Dexter: Yes, we just don't think they should be able to run for President.

What inspired Noodles to start doing the tour journal? And how does he feel about other bands ripping off his idea?
Dexter: Noodles is very happy to be an inspiration to musicians everywhere. And he's suing all the other bands who he inspired.

Why does Greg seem so shy all the damn time?
Dexter: Greg K is here now, but he's too shy to answer.

The guy who sits next to me in science says you guys suck. Should I kick his ass?
Dexter: We don't condone violence, but yes, kick his ass.

Did you guys think you would make it this far when you first started?
Dexter: Yep for sure. We calculated, connived, and cheated our way to where we are now. It was perfectly orchestrated.

[vintagepunkrock7]

all of these quotes you guys are posting are great, i just sat here laughing so hard going through all of them and after the day i had i really needed that. thanks.

[TheHulaChick]

I knew all my Offspring txt files I'd saved would come in handy one day :) I'll post more later maybe.

[ATOM_01]

I knew all my Offspring txt files I'd saved would come in handy one day :) I'll post more later maybe.

You posted the best ones, thumbs up to ya :)

[vintagepunkrock7]

u guys are awesome, i knew i liked here for a reason lol :D

[TheHulaChick]

:) Thanks Atom_01, I'll post more soon.

[TheHulaChick]

Can this be a Offspring quotes and short stories thread? :)

Here's an funny bit from Noodles journal from their tour of japan, obviously :D

When we got to Nagoya we went to the venue and had a few hours to chill out before the show. Those of us in the band were heading back to Tokyo right after the show, but the crew had to stay in Nagoya over night to deal with all the gear, so before the show Dexter borrowed George's room to chill in. George gave Dexter his key and laughed and said, "Don't forget to trash my room." Big Mistake. Dexter took George at his word and made a mess of his room. First, he ordered an 80$ bottle of Jack Daniel's and charged it to the room, then he rearranged the place, trying not to do any permanent damage. All the furniture was thrown around, the walls were graffitied, and trash was strewn throughout. Porn was ordered and left on the TV and the mattress was left up against the entry way. Dexter replaced the sanitary ring back on the toilet only after depositing a nice little present in it. Finally, Dexter put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and came down to the show. Fortunately George saw the humor in the situation, which is difficult I'm sure at 1:00 in the morning when you have a lobby call at 5:00. The show was a lot of fun too.

[funkmonkey]

holy crap that is hilarious.

this is from last years KROQ X Mas show (its been a while, so its not exact)

Dexter: the Christmas spirit is definitely in the air. what do you think Noodles?

Noodles: dont ask me, im Jewish, dude.

[Piedude]

Dexter and Noodles at Reading 2004 -
Where would you be now if you werent here?
Noodles: Masterbating in my hotel room

[Revolver-2005?]

Live at 1991

Dexter: Excuse us, our drummer got diareha, we should go on and barge in on him, he really went in there.

Noodles: Did Ron really have to go poop?

Dexter: He really had to go poop, Ron's poop smells really really bad too...you guys arent gonna want to go into the bathroom now!

Noodles: DO NOT GO IN THERE!


Lol...wow

[dexterisMYman]

mines from the KROQ Fest 2
Noodles:Iso damn glad to be her tonight. Im so excited that I have an armidilo in my trousers right now.
Thats fuckin hillarious!!

[Omni]

*BUMP*
Wow, these are freakin' hilarious, guys.

There is one in Noodles' journal about how when he broke his finger on a skateboard, he did so without spilling a drop of beer. "Everyone has their priorities."

[Punk_Conspiracy]

from Noodles tour journal;

"I also got to compare penises with one of the Jukka Brothers. They are recurring characters on Euro-MTV, and I took a piss next to the taller brother. Not much of a dick on that guy, and he gave me a very mean look so I got out of there pretty quick."

[Noodles is gay]

"In a world without leaders who would start all our wars?" - Kill the President lyrics. :D

[Hypodermic_89]

this one´s from West Palm Beach 1995

Dexter pulls up a fan on stage and asks something

Fan: "Yes sir!!"
Dexter: "Don´t you fucking call me sir! I was fucking working at Burger King six months ago!"

HaHa :P

[Skip91]

"Beat it kook!"

[Hypodermic_89]

"Beat it kook!"



HAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!

[ashtray_girl_1]

offspring leave me breathless...time and time again

[burning-the-high-life]

"and i feel so dumb that i could ever trust her while some one else ###### her then walked away" spare me the details. guess why i like it.

[leo3375]

No need to censor F-bombs here, man.

Another favorite. This is Dexter polling the audience at a music festival in 1999:

"So I heard Courtney Love and Hole were here yesterday. I heard she had a good time. And I gotta ask you guys something: How many of you think she's a goddess and should be worshipped?" (Booing from crowd) "Okay. How many of you think she's a fucking bitch?" (Wild cheers and applause) "That's what I though you'd say."

[Guillermo90]

haha
I love Gregs quote it goes something a little like this
"........" hahaha Greg is so tight! YYYYYYYYEEEEEEAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Emily_offspring_fan]

I used the search button to find some thread about Offspring members quotes and I found this, so I decided to revive it, cause it's cool.

My quote ia from Dexter in his fight round the world trip:

MAGADAN, RUSSIA
"This was probably the most surreal moment of the trip. Can you picture it: I was alone, in Siberia in the middle of the night, huddled inside my freezing plane surrounded by Russians in military uniforms. They spoke Russian to each other and I realized that I was pretty vulnerable right at that moment. For all I knew, they could have been saying, ‘Let‘s jack this guy! Who wants the plane?´"

and of course the one in my signature :)

[offspring kid]

mine you can read in my signature by Noodles

[offspringdude17]

I like this one

we're punk and we don't give a fuck!

[alistair13]

dexter- this song's about prison, one of my favorite places to make new friends!

--about walla walla--

[i-want-him-only]

these a are a few i found in an argentinian site, so it's not the exact words they said, i had to translate them back to english

"we would force them to listen to our albums until they explode!" dexter talking about boy bans
"i really like noodles... he's a great guy... but he has that weird thing on his foot..." dexter talking about noodles's bunion
"sometimes i rather people to think i smoke pot that for them to know i was a nerd who gradueted with honors" dexter
"my mom still thinks i'm punk" noodles

[bouncingcoles]

"garth brooks is a mother fucker" dexter

"im already drunk" noodles

[Nood!es]

"and i feel so dumb that i could ever trust her while some one else ###### her then walked away" spare me the details. guess why i like it.
You can cuss on the bbs...like this. FUCKED

[funkmonkey]

ya!
Cock! Balls! Booger!

[DICKON]

I Choose with audio commentry dexter is laughing about the two fat women doin the bump and how the one on the right is "a little senstitive about the size of her behind, i mean its not like she didn't know, hi where hiring you to be a huge ass!"

[Corpse]

Dexter at Bercy 2001 :- 'Noodles is what we call a mother fucking lead guitar player cos he plays mother fucking leads man'

[vintagepunkrock7]

"my mom still thinks i'm punk" noodles

lol, i dont know why that makes me laugh so much but it does. i think i already posted my favorite quote so im not gonna do it again but its the one of dexter talking about girls crowd surfing at woodstock.

[randman21]

I love when Dexter says anything about Green Day, in this regard:

"How about we play 'It'll Be a Long Time' by Green Day?"

*starts playing "Basket Case"..."Oops, wrong band!"

[randman21]

Dexter at Bercy 2001 :- 'Noodles is what we call a mother fucking lead guitar player cos he plays mother fucking leads man'

Dexter is so fucking proud of Noodles, isn't he?

My favorite quote is from Dexter, "Who wants to hear Noodles play some heavy metal?!" He says it a lot.

[igniton/pyro]

dexter: you guys got some bad porn here.

[randman21]

Hell, yeah! That was great.

[idiocyisavirtue]

"I've been drinking. Not like I've been drinking I've had a couple of drinks. I mean I'VE BEEN DRINKING!!" Noodles

[Funderful Callan]

At The London Brixton Gig 17th Sep 05. Noodles: "Last Night The Crowd was The Dogs Bollocks, But You Guys Are The Whole Fucking Dog!!" :D

[Jojan]

"It feels like heaven's so far away" is a good one, since it's a made up thing by religious poeple.
There are many in the songs Offspring made. Can't bring them all up.

[i-want-him-only]

here's some other ones (translated back to english):
"...and this song is called Cool to hate. By the way, you know what i hate? that stupid show called Friends. Those dorks with their stupid hair cuts and shit. Who here thinks that Jennifer Anniston should get a fucking mohawk??!! dexter in a concert

"I was told not to talk to you because you wouldn't understand me, but i know you do understand, right? (someone yells "fuck you") See, i knew you'll understand." Dexter in a concert in Germany

and here's a story:
"What was the last punk thing i did?... should I say something stupid now? The tour hasn't even started haha!!! OK, i'll never forget the MTV awards from last year ('99). There was a lot of people, everybody was there. I didn't knew where the bathrooms where and i didn't feel going to look for them. But i really needed to piss so i went in a cup from the table. Just before i finished a journalist comes to me with a huge microphone, so i had to talk holding mi dick with one hand and the cup full of piss with the other one." Dexter Interview 2000

[Rutegard]

here's some other ones (translated back to english):
"...and this song is called Cool to hate. By the way, you know what i hate? that stupid show called Friends. Those dorks with their stupid hair cuts and shit. Who here thinks that Jennifer Anniston should get a fucking mohawk??!! dexter in a concert

"I was told not to talk to you because you wouldn't understand me, but i know you do understand, right? (someone yells "fuck you") See, i knew you'll understand." Dexter in a concert in Germany

and here's a story:
"What was the last punk thing i did?... should I say something stupid now? The tour hasn't even started haha!!! OK, i'll never forget the MTV awards from last year ('99). There was a lot of people, everybody was there. I didn't knew where the bathrooms where and i didn't feel going to look for them. But i really needed to piss so i went in a cup from the table. Just before i finished a journalist comes to me with a huge microphone, so i had to talk holding mi dick with one hand and the cup full of piss with the other one." Dexter Interview 2000



hilarious...eheheheh

i knew that from that argentina site but it's really pretty fucking amazing hilarious lol

[SplinterByMyOwnDesign]

A Quote from the fan journal:

DEXTER: “I hear Justin Timberlake is playing a show here (in Brisbane) tonight, too“
NOODLES: “Justin Timberlake is a motherf*cker.“
DEXTER: “Hey, don‘t be so hard on him. He was cool before he sold out.”

Pretty funny.

[Venom Symbiote]

Yeah, SplinterByMyOwnDesign, that was a great one. Are you from Brisbane, at the show and all?

That was so funny hearing live, I thought it was the defining moment of the show really. SO so great. Even the security guys a couple feet in front of me were laughing their asses off at Noodles then.

They had to play at the Riverstage (a small-ish outdoor University venue) because Timberlake had dibs on the city's big Entertainment Center for that date, which is where The Offspring usually play here.

'Twas hilarious.

[Rutegard]

Talking of kids do you have any?

Yeah I've got a nine year old daughter and I just got married like a year and a half ago. The four of us have decided we wanted to be home some of the time, so like no more than four weeks at a time on the road and then we're home for a week or two and get to see our wives and kids, touring sort of gives you a foot in both worlds. It helps - you just get off tour playing to huge crowds and everybody singing along and shit and you get kinda a swollen head then you come home and your wife says "you're shit pick up your clothes ,you're not treating this house like a hotel" and I'm like "alright alright" straight back down to earth and your kids telling you "no I won't clean up my room!!"

NOODLES

[Rutegard]

You don't want to do an Ozzy and take 'em with you?

I've taken my daughter to some local shows, I've never actually had her out on tour, the nights are so late I don't think its a good place for kids.......but she's actually pretty cool although she likes the Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears and Robbie Williams who's just starting to bubble up in the States, I took her to our hometown show a couple of months ago and after I asked her, "So what did you think" she was like "oh it was good" I'm like "Was it better than Robbie Williams?" she's like "hmmmmm...........maybe........."

NOODLES

[Rutegard]

Holland must have an anarchic, self-immolating streak, though, as evidenced by the funniest show conclusion I've seen in a while. After the well-received encore, "Gone Away" (easily the best song of the night; just about everyone was singing "And it feels like heaven's so far away..."), he invited "everybody to come up" to do some stage-diving for the last song. Taking him at his word, the audience proceeded to methodically (and thoroughly!) fill the stage until the music stopped abruptly and Holland's voice emerged thickly from behind a wall of bodies: "Everybody get the fuck off the stage!"


The Offspring
with Doughboys and gob
PNE Forum
Vancouver, B.C.
Friday, August 1, 1997
Review by Alphonse Leong

[ofsmurfsandpixies]

i can imagine that-sounds hilarious! omg i can imagine noodles in that situation! LOL

[i-want-him-only]

"The key to making great rock n roll is to take three chords and make 'em sound new... and that's not an easy task." Noodles

[Rutegard]

"The key to making great rock n roll is to take three chords and make 'em sound new... and that's not an easy task." Noodles

noodles is the man

[Rutegard]

Kevin: We never talk about my glasses; they're cool! We talk about Greg's penis, we can talk about my glasses.

Ron: Really fuckin' big man.

Brian: Yeah, just for the record, Greg has the biggest penis in the band. It's 7 1/4". We all got drunk and...

[Rutegard]

He Thinks He's Ugly. He Knows He's Rich. And He'll Happilly Take A Piss In Your Presence. On The Couch, Dex!

[Rutegard]

MM- CAN YOU URINATE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON?

Dex - No! I've got that problem. Stage fright. Isn't that terrible? It depends. You know, when you're drinking, you have to go most of all. It usually doesn't hit me until the third beer and then I have to go every 15 minutes. But by the fifth beer I can go, and by the time you get to the seventh beer I can go in the middle of the room. I don't care anymore.


MM-HOW DO YOU PICTURE YOUR FUNERAL AND WHAT SONGS DO YOU WANT PLAYED?

Dex- I think I want to be buried. I don't want to be cremated, burned. Even though everyone says it's gross to be buried because you get worms crawling in you and stuff, somehow I don't like the idea of being ashes. I want to be substance so they can dig me up in 200 years to determine if I had some disease or something. I want to make sure a lot of people cry and feel really bad at my funeral. A lot of people say they want it to be a celebration. Fuck that. I want everyone there, I want to know they cared, I want them to cry.

[Rutegard]

MM-RELATIVE TO THE POPULATION, HOW DO YOU RATE YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS, YOUR INTELLIGENCE, YOUR PRESONALITY?

Dex- Wow! I feel like I'm on a job interview. Well with attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 I put myself at a 2. I don't think of myself in that way. People that are hung up on those kinds of things are pretty shallow generally. Intelligence? Maybe a 6. Personality? Of course a 10!

[Rutegard]

don't blame me...i'll post this

Yahoomc: alright everybody -- here he is -- welcome dexter from the offspring!
Y_dexter_offspring: Hey everybody, what'
Y_dexter_offspring: s up?
Y_dexter_offspring: You can see what a good typist I am


the_psycho_beaver asks: Is there a story behind "Why Don't You Get a Job?"
Y_dexter_offspring: Yeah, well, like, there was this person, and, like, he needed a job. So we wrote, why don't you get a job.
blue_914 asks: what inspired u to make "pretty fly 4 a white guy"?
Y_dexter_offspring: Computer geeks like you

punkgirl_182_ asks: what pisses you off??
Y_dexter_offspring: Balloons. I hate balloons. And clowns.

jolly182 asks: do u like it when girls flash u at concerts?
Y_dexter_offspring: I've never seen that. I don't think that happens to bands.

Barnburner_616 asks: Hey Dexter my friends got a girlfriend and he hates the bitch what does he do?
Y_dexter_offspring: I think if you read that next couple lines of that song it'll tell you.

Wildcard6154 asks: Any advice for a 15 year old future punk rocker?
Y_dexter_offspring: 'Future' punk rocker??!! Why not start now?

mindpuzzler asks: So what makes a person of your status want to talk online to a bunch of computer geeks?
Y_dexter_offspring: You know what, I like talking to people. Whether it's online or whatever. I think that if you're in a band, you shouldn't hate people.

rokon1999 asks: Who's your favorite Spice Girl, or do you want to just kill them all?
Y_dexter_offspring: I like Ginger, because she's gone now.

Matt_99_dude asks: What do u think of groups like KORN, BSB, Limp bizkit, 98degrees, & NSYNC?
Y_dexter_offspring: I don't really think you can lump together Korn and Limp Bizkit with the others. I like Korn and Limp Bizkit.

PerplexyChick311 asks: don't you feel that "Pretty Fly" was offensive and stereotypical?
Y_dexter_offspring: Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel offended and stereotyped.

Matt_99_dude asks: Ok Dexter who in the group is the craziest?
Y_dexter_offspring: Greg K definitely.

Killboypwrhd asks: What's the bad habit in "Bad habit"?
Y_dexter_offspring: I used to have this car that would like, only go 40 on the freeway, and everyday I would get flipped off many times. I wanted revenge, so I wrote Bad Habit.

Dayzee00 asks: how do you feel about all the boy bands around these days?
Y_dexter_offspring: I heard that they put those groups together down in Florida, you have to like go down there and learn how to dance and shit. I don't like people who go down to Florida to learn to dance. You know what I like about the internet? You can say 'shit' anytime you want.

TheOffspring_4EVER asks: When you wrote Gone Away, did someone close to you actually die?
Y_dexter_offspring: That song is about something real, but it's pretty personal, so I don't talk about it.

VainComplexity asks: Don't you feel that idiots that don't try to understand your music shouldn't ask questions?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only people as cool as you should listen to us, is that right?

offspring_pointdexter asks: How do your feel about being called the band thats supposed to save punk
Y_dexter_offspring: I think we've also been called the band that ruined punk. You know, you can really just do what you do as a band and try not to worry about the labels.

Wilbergris asks: Dexter, what bands did you like as a kid?
Y_dexter_offspring: Oh you know, the usual, Barry Manilow, Sheena easton, Olivia Newton John.

oplax15 asks: would you ever go on Jerry Springer?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only if I get to fight the audience. Actually, we got asked to go on the Ricki Lake show and play. (we said no)

carenj17 asks: What do you guys do on the tour bus?
Y_dexter_offspring: Ron performs ritual sacrfices. Noodles spins plates. Greg K investigates crop circles. And I drive.

naughtybabe6969 asks: did u cry during Titanic
Y_dexter_offspring: Only when Kate Winslet lived.

crash_n_burn87 asks: hey dexter-how come you did a cover of feelings? just for the hell of it?
Y_dexter_offspring: Feelings is a song that needed to be destroyed. We didn't ask permission though, and the guy sued us.

Lver6969 asks: if you had to choose one member of the band to eat if you were stranded who would it be?
yahoomusic: and with what condiments?
Y_dexter_offspring: I guess Noodles has the most edible name.

jersy_devil_69 asks: DID YOU INVITE VANILLA ICE TO PERFORM WITH YOU, OR DID HE JUST TURN UP????
Y_dexter_offspring: That guy is stalking us.

[Rutegard]

offspring_dexter_live: Hey guys. This is Dexter.
offspring_dexter_live: You know, I logged into our web site and visited our own Offspring chat room
offspring_dexter_live: This was a couple months ago. I logged in as the_real_dexter,
offspring_dexter_live: but no one believed that it was actually me. What do I have to do to convince
offspring_dexter_live: people that it's really me when I log in?

offspring_afi_girl asks: Dexter, in your opinion, what is the all time best punk band?
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to say TSOL.
offspring_dexter_live: The old TSOL though, with Jack singing.

Paradise409 asks: When will Noodles update his "Tour Journal" again?
offspring_dexter_live: Noodles writes entries for a tour journal on our web site. He updates it every couple weeks or so.
offspring_dexter_live: If you want, I'll kick his ass for you and tell him to stop lagging.

Izabel_Brazil asks: How did you feel being chosen to interview Joey Ramone?
offspring_dexter_live: Joey is awesome. I had a bitchen time interviewing him, he's like an idol to us.

iLuvNoodles asks: What action figures did you play with most as a child?
offspring_dexter_live: Hey, with a login name like iLuvNoodles, you've got worse problems than that.

Amzed_grl_32 asks: Hey Dexter! I was wondering how you felt about Weird Al's song "pretty fly for a rabbi". Personally , I think it is funny. by the way, I love all of your albums, but especially Ignition.
offspring_dexter_live: That was actually our original version of that song.

offspring_fan16 asks: I heard you were coming out with a live album, is there going to be any older stuff on it?
offspring_dexter_live: You know, we were actually starting on a live album, but we couldn't get it together right now.
offspring_dexter_live: We're really busy touring and all, so we're putting the live album on hold for now.

backstreet07 asks: What do you have against the Backstreet Boys?
offspring_dexter_live: I'll bare my soul.
offspring_dexter_live: Well, I guess it's time I tell the truth.
offspring_dexter_live: The fact is, I'm jealous.
offspring_dexter_live: I wanted to be that guy with the designer sideburns and f***in' gucci sunglasses.
offspring_dexter_live: He stole my mojo.
offspring_dexter_live: Actually, we've heard that N'stink are playing pretty fly at their shows.
offspring_dexter_live: If you see them, please spit on them for us.

C_Trickle asks: how do you explain your appeal to the gay community?
offspring_dexter_live: One word: Noodles!

proffsprng asks: Who could win in a fight, You, Noodles, Ron and Greg?
offspring_dexter_live: Oh, that would be Ron for sure.

CalliLostTheWar asks: Did it hurt when you got hit with that bottle at Woodstock?
offspring_dexter_live: No, actually it felt really good.

kiisu14 asks: what was that silver thing on your neck when you were singing WDYGAJ at woodstock?
offspring_dexter_live: That was an electrode.

Bonzodrums asks: will you play a concert in my basement.. we can make it a cookout
offspring_dexter_live: We used to play concerts in peoples' basements, actually.
offspring_dexter_live: Once we did a show in a basement in Spokane, and we gave out motor oil to girls who would slam.

Daeyah asks: Are you going to be on TRL any time soon?
offspring_dexter_live: I don't think so. We sent the pretty fly guy in our place last time.

whoispaul asks: Dexter, how can you prove right here to all of these fans that it's really you in chat?
offspring_dexter_live: Well, I don't know. Do you want to see my mole or something?
offspring_dexter_live: I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.
offspring_dexter_live: So, I heard we're up to 7000 questions right now since we started.
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to type really fast to answer all those questions.
offspring_dexter_live: I may not get to everyone, but I'll answer as much as I can.

morninglory72 asks: can i have the shirt you wore last tuesday?
offspring_dexter_live: Yeah, what's your address?

mpsux asks: Will the Pretty Fly be in any more videos
offspring_dexter_live: No, we fired him. He went on to a lucrative acting career.
offspring_dexter_live: Look for him in the next Mentos commercial.
vampire slayer kind of in a way sounds like the kids arent alright?

riverfenix182 asks: do you notice that the theme song from buffy the
offspring_dexter_live: No, I never noticed that. Buffy's boss, though.

jefiner8 asks: Who came up with the Roadie for a Day contest?
offspring_dexter_live: Our roadie wanted the day off.

veruca_grl asks: what is the last movie you've seen at the theater? I just saw blair witch it was scary.
offspring_dexter_live: Blair Witch was the last movie I saw.
offspring_dexter_live: That was the scariest fake movie that was supposed to be real i ever saw.

mallory224 asks: What are some musical groups that you listen to right now?
offspring_dexter_live: Ricky Martin. That guy is a genius.

vandal_offspring asks: You and the rest of the Offspring are notorious pyromaniacs ("Burn it Up" and "Hand Grenades," anyone? muahaha) yet you also have pretty good heads on your shoulders. What'd you think of the Woodstock riots?
offspring_dexter_live: Well, we didn't play on that day so I'm not exactly sure.
offspring_dexter_live: I don't think it's fair to just blame the kids, though.
offspring_dexter_live: I think that there were a few assholes around that caused most of the shit.
offspring_dexter_live: But I think there were a lot of problems with the lack of water, no toilets, etc.
offspring_dexter_live: If you treat people like animals, they're going to act like animals.

soakedliver asks: why don't you play DUI
offspring_dexter_live: Wow, soaked_liver, I'm not surprised that DUI
would be your favorite song.

Mathiason1 asks: Hey Dexter... I'm 14 and I just started a ska/punk band called "Mr. B and the Illegal Shoes"... whats the best advice you could give an aspiring band?
offspring_dexter_live: Ska's over.

dougisgod asks: would you like to mention any famous women you fancy?
offspring_dexter_live: Oprah.

alaskanhuskysleddog asks: Will you sponsor my sled dog team? I'm very serious...you could have your very own "OFFSPRING SLED DOG TEAM!"
offspring_dexter_live: If you're for real, that would be cool. Send us a photo to prove it and we'll sponsor you.

Fly4WhiteGuy asks: What do you think about Blink 182's naked approach?
offspring_dexter_live: I think Blink182 is awesome. And naked works for them. I went surfing with them once.

i_eat_noodles asks: why do you make fun of noodles so much?
offspring_dexter_live: I'm not making fun of Noodles. I love Noodles.

chaos_sucks asks: Are you naked right now?
offspring_dexter_live: No, but Blink probably is.

magichamster asks: do you answer your fan mail?
offspring_dexter_live: Yeah, I do. As much as I can. Our buddy goes through
all our mail and gives me the interesting ones.

Firestartr9 asks: What's your favorite kind of guitar to use other than Ibanez?
offspring_dexter_live: I like those little plastic ukeleles.

lymabeyeyn asks: Could you please settle a little dispute between me and my friend, I say that at the end of the recorded version of Something To Believe In you laugh, and my friend says it's just guitar, what is it?
offspring_dexter_live: Wow, you guys really do your homework.

naomi_rose_17 asks: WOULD U LIKE TO COME AT MY HIGH SCHOOL PROM NEXT YEAR..IT WOULD BE GREAT!!
offspring_dexter_live: You mean like to play or as a guest?

[Corpse]

don't blame me...i'll post this

Yahoomc: alright everybody -- here he is -- welcome dexter from the offspring!
Y_dexter_offspring: Hey everybody, what'
Y_dexter_offspring: s up?
Y_dexter_offspring: You can see what a good typist I am


the_psycho_beaver asks: Is there a story behind "Why Don't You Get a Job?"
Y_dexter_offspring: Yeah, well, like, there was this person, and, like, he needed a job. So we wrote, why don't you get a job.
blue_914 asks: what inspired u to make "pretty fly 4 a white guy"?
Y_dexter_offspring: Computer geeks like you

punkgirl_182_ asks: what pisses you off??
Y_dexter_offspring: Balloons. I hate balloons. And clowns.

jolly182 asks: do u like it when girls flash u at concerts?
Y_dexter_offspring: I've never seen that. I don't think that happens to bands.

Barnburner_616 asks: Hey Dexter my friends got a girlfriend and he hates the bitch what does he do?
Y_dexter_offspring: I think if you read that next couple lines of that song it'll tell you.

Wildcard6154 asks: Any advice for a 15 year old future punk rocker?
Y_dexter_offspring: 'Future' punk rocker??!! Why not start now?

mindpuzzler asks: So what makes a person of your status want to talk online to a bunch of computer geeks?
Y_dexter_offspring: You know what, I like talking to people. Whether it's online or whatever. I think that if you're in a band, you shouldn't hate people.

rokon1999 asks: Who's your favorite Spice Girl, or do you want to just kill them all?
Y_dexter_offspring: I like Ginger, because she's gone now.

Matt_99_dude asks: What do u think of groups like KORN, BSB, Limp bizkit, 98degrees, & NSYNC?
Y_dexter_offspring: I don't really think you can lump together Korn and Limp Bizkit with the others. I like Korn and Limp Bizkit.

PerplexyChick311 asks: don't you feel that "Pretty Fly" was offensive and stereotypical?
Y_dexter_offspring: Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel offended and stereotyped.

Matt_99_dude asks: Ok Dexter who in the group is the craziest?
Y_dexter_offspring: Greg K definitely.

Killboypwrhd asks: What's the bad habit in "Bad habit"?
Y_dexter_offspring: I used to have this car that would like, only go 40 on the freeway, and everyday I would get flipped off many times. I wanted revenge, so I wrote Bad Habit.

Dayzee00 asks: how do you feel about all the boy bands around these days?
Y_dexter_offspring: I heard that they put those groups together down in Florida, you have to like go down there and learn how to dance and shit. I don't like people who go down to Florida to learn to dance. You know what I like about the internet? You can say 'shit' anytime you want.

TheOffspring_4EVER asks: When you wrote Gone Away, did someone close to you actually die?
Y_dexter_offspring: That song is about something real, but it's pretty personal, so I don't talk about it.

VainComplexity asks: Don't you feel that idiots that don't try to understand your music shouldn't ask questions?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only people as cool as you should listen to us, is that right?

offspring_pointdexter asks: How do your feel about being called the band thats supposed to save punk
Y_dexter_offspring: I think we've also been called the band that ruined punk. You know, you can really just do what you do as a band and try not to worry about the labels.

Wilbergris asks: Dexter, what bands did you like as a kid?
Y_dexter_offspring: Oh you know, the usual, Barry Manilow, Sheena easton, Olivia Newton John.

oplax15 asks: would you ever go on Jerry Springer?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only if I get to fight the audience. Actually, we got asked to go on the Ricki Lake show and play. (we said no)

carenj17 asks: What do you guys do on the tour bus?
Y_dexter_offspring: Ron performs ritual sacrfices. Noodles spins plates. Greg K investigates crop circles. And I drive.

naughtybabe6969 asks: did u cry during Titanic
Y_dexter_offspring: Only when Kate Winslet lived.

crash_n_burn87 asks: hey dexter-how come you did a cover of feelings? just for the hell of it?
Y_dexter_offspring: Feelings is a song that needed to be destroyed. We didn't ask permission though, and the guy sued us.

Lver6969 asks: if you had to choose one member of the band to eat if you were stranded who would it be?
yahoomusic: and with what condiments?
Y_dexter_offspring: I guess Noodles has the most edible name.

jersy_devil_69 asks: DID YOU INVITE VANILLA ICE TO PERFORM WITH YOU, OR DID HE JUST TURN UP????
Y_dexter_offspring: That guy is stalking us.

Dude, what the hell is this, it looks cool.

[Rutegard]

Dude, what the hell is this, it looks cool.

well...it's suppose to be dexter years ago when he used to log in and talked to fans trough yahoo...but since it's internet...i don't know ya know? LOL...
i hope someone from here asked him something

but the answers are pretty ironic sometimes just the way he does LOL

but i didn't post all the questions

[idiocyisavirtue]

Where did you get all of that from?

[Emily_offspring_fan]

There are so many funny Offspring quotes. I think I'll make a document with all of them.

Where did you get all of that from?

I am wondering the same.

[Panzerfaust92]

"We will never lose to you!"

"Bloody mess all over my clothes!"

"Yeah, I hate everything I even hate you too so fuck you!"

[DICKON]

" I just wanna say that you are the sexiest fuckin audience i've seen all night! and thats pretty sexy, this is I Choose" do do do tshcha tscha tscha do do do dododo!

great song, great speach!

[Rutegard]

Where did you get all of that from?

i'm not so sure...i have it for years now...i didn't post everything i have...i used to colect everything i saw about the offspring i have a lot of old interviews and stuff...i'll post the most funny ones

[Rutegard]

TheOffspring_4EVER asks: When you wrote Gone Away, did someone close to you actually die?
Y_dexter_offspring: That song is about something real, but it's pretty personal, so I don't talk about it.




AAAWWWW

:o :(

[Emily_offspring_fan]

AAAWWWW

:o :(

I'M GONNA CRY!! SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!! :(

[Emily_offspring_fan]

but i didn't post all the questions

post them all! please! they're awesome!

[Rutegard]

Dexter: And the Ramones. Bands like that too. There's been a lot of different....You call it all punk rock, but there's a lot of different styles of bands all the way from the Sex Pistols to the Dead Kennedys to Bad Brains to Green Day, or whatever. But I think there's a common thread throughout all the bands and all the times. There's a real attitude in the music. It's a real rebellious kind of fuck you attitude about it, and the music's real energetic, and the lyrics generally talk about something that is kind of real.

Noodles: As opposed to just like girls and cars.

Dexter: Yeah, get in my hot rod and let's go for a ride, baby. There aren't too many punk bands that sing about stuff like that. We relate to all that stuff because I think there's a common thread that goes through all of it.

[Rutegard]

Mucomo: Is there any competition between Fat Mike's Fat Wreck Chords label and yours?

Dexter: Oh, his label sucks, man (laughs)...No not at all. We talk all the time. We call each other on the phone, we help each other out. The Offspring has taken Fat Wreck Chords bands on the road, and NOFX has taken Nitro bands on the road, so it's a good situation. There's enough room for everybody. There's plenty of good music, and everybody should be helping each other out.

[Rutegard]

Mucomo: What about the first record - what do you think when you hear that now?

Noodles: As bad as therest of the shit. A little bit faster. It's pretty raw - we were still pretty young then.

Dexter: We were a pretty bad band for a long time actually.

Noodles: We still are.

Dexter: We decided to be a band without having instruments. We just kind of decided and went out and bought stuff. We didn't know how to play anything, we never took lessons and we just messed around, so, it's taken us this long just to become mediocre.


AHAHAHAH

[Rutegard]

Yahoomc: alright everybody -- here he is -- welcome dexter from the offspring!
Y_dexter_offspring: Hey everybody, what'
Y_dexter_offspring: s up?
Y_dexter_offspring: You can see what a good typist I am

Duke_Nukem_the_King_of_Carnage asks: Dexter, are there any other soundtracks you're doing music for?
Y_dexter_offspring: Well, I guess you know about Idle Hands. We're talking to our friends the Lunachicks. They've asked us to donate an old song to a movie they're on. I can't remember the name of it yet, but a soundtrack will come out on GoKart records. I think there's gonna be a lot of cool bands like NOFX, etc.


the_psycho_beaver asks: Is there a story behind "Why Don't You Get a Job?"
Y_dexter_offspring: Yeah, well, like, there was this person, and, like, he needed a job. So we wrote, why don't you get a job.


mountain_dew_thug_4_life asks: DO YOU LIKE MOUNTAIN DEW
Y_dexter_offspring: Anything with a lot of caffeine.


blue_914 asks: what inspired u to make "pretty fly 4 a white guy"?
Y_dexter_offspring: Computer geeks like you


punk_princess33 asks: If you could perform with another group besides your wicked opening groups who would it be
Y_dexter_offspring: We've played with a lot of cool bands already, like Blink 182, Rancid, Vandals, I don't know, a lot. I'd like to play with Tool sometime. One of the coolest shows we played was In England a couple years ago. We got to play with Rage Against the Machine and Prodigy.


microland17 asks: When did Noodles get his nosering? I'd never noticed it before
Y_dexter_offspring: I think it's just a booger.


KrissyLostTheWar asks: Settle a dispute for me, was the original name of the band "Manic Subsidals" or "Maniac Suicidals"?
Y_dexter_offspring: It was Manic Subsidal. We changed because no one knew what the hell we were talking about. p.s. I like that name, Krissy.


punkgirl_182_ asks: what pisses you off??
Y_dexter_offspring: Balloons. I hate balloons. And clowns.


Ashes_12_17 asks: Who came up with the name "The Offspring"?
Y_dexter_offspring: We were recording this cable TV show called Media Blitz and we decided to change our name then. We couldn't think of anything, and we final settled on the Offspring because it was the only name we didn't all hate. Our old drummer James actually made it up.


Xenia_onatop asks: is it true the offspring is guest starring in a movie?
Y_dexter_offspring: Yeah, we're gonna be in a cheesey horror flick called Idle Hands that comes out this month. It was fun because I get to get killed.


Kali_Devi asks: How do you feel about the immense amount of bootlegs?
Y_dexter_offspring: You know, actually I hate 'em, but not for the reason you might think. I don't care if people tape our records, or tape live shows or whatever. But what I don't like is that people who make the bootlegs always record them really poorly, and then they package it in this really stupid cover, and then they sell it for . And people think it's something that we endorse. So I hate them because I think it rips off kids.


jolly182 asks: do u like it when girls flash u at concerts?
Y_dexter_offspring: I've never seen that. I don't think that happens to bands.


jax15717 asks: what is your favorite song on your new album?
Y_dexter_offspring: I really like Staring at the Sun a lot, I'd say probably that one. I heard that we're up to 5,000 questions right now. I probably won't be able to answer all of those unless I type really really fast. So be patient.


Barnburner_616 asks: Hey Dexter my friends got a girlfriend and he hates the bitch what does he do?
Y_dexter_offspring: I think if you read that next couple lines of that song it'll tell you.


Dexie_Holland asks: Who came up with the guitar riff at the beginning of Genocide? It reminds me of the beginning of "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran.
Y_dexter_offspring: You know, it's time to come clean. Duran Duran were our only musical influence. Apparently, though, we couldn't fool you.


Wildcard6154 asks: Any advice for a 15 year old future punk rocker?
Y_dexter_offspring: 'Future' punk rocker??!! Why not start now?


mindpuzzler asks: So what makes a person of your status want to talk online to a bunch of computer geeks?
Y_dexter_offspring: You know what, I like talking to people. Whether it's online or whatever. I think that if you're in a band, you shouldn't hate people.


rokon1999 asks: Who's your favorite Spice Girl, or do you want to just kill them all?
Y_dexter_offspring: I like Ginger, because she's gone now.


Matt_99_dude asks: What do u think of groups like KORN, BSB, Limp bizkit, 98degrees, & NSYNC?
Y_dexter_offspring: I don't really think you can lump together Korn and Limp Bizkit with the others. I like Korn and Limp Bizkit.


PerplexyChick311 asks: don't you feel that "Pretty Fly" was offensive and stereotypical?
Y_dexter_offspring: Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel offended and stereotyped.


Matt_99_dude asks: Ok Dexter who in the group is the craziest?
Y_dexter_offspring: Greg K definitely.


Starr6669 asks: What kind of stuff would you like to do if you weren't in the Offspring?
Y_dexter_offspring: Well, Greg and I started a little record label called Nitro Records a few years ago. There's a lot of really cool bands on the label like Guttermouth, Vandals, AFI... wait, let me name the others now, there's Ensign, One Hit Wonder, Sloppy Seconds, Jughead's Revenge and 30 Foot Fall. So I spend time at home with the label.


Killboypwrhd asks: What's the bad habit in "Bad habit"?
Y_dexter_offspring: I used to have this car that would like, only go 40 on the freeway, and everyday I would get flipped off many times. I wanted revenge, so I wrote Bad Habit.


Dayzee00 asks: how do you feel about all the boy bands around these days?
Y_dexter_offspring: I heard that they put those groups together down in Florida, you have to like go down there and learn how to dance and shit. I don't like people who go down to Florida to learn to dance. You know what I like about the internet? You can say 'shit' anytime you want.


feli_shan_kris asks: what's your favorite snack when you're not performing?
Y_dexter_offspring: Budweiser.


TheOffspring_4EVER asks: When you wrote Gone Away, did someone close to you actually die?
Y_dexter_offspring: That song is about something real, but it's pretty personal, so I don't talk about it.


offspring77769 asks: where do you get the ideas for your album covers?
Y_dexter_offspring: It really just kind of happens. The Ixnay cover was a woodcarving that one of my friends showed us. The Americana cover was a picture by Frank Kozik that we liked. It just depends. heh heh, I said depends.


VainComplexity asks: Don't you feel that idiots that don't try to understand your music shouldn't ask questions?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only people as cool as you should listen to us, is that right?


offspring_pointdexter asks: How do your feel about being called the band thats supposed to save punk
Y_dexter_offspring: I think we've also been called the band that ruined punk. You know, you can really just do what you do as a band and try not to worry about the labels.


NiRvanA_ThE_DOORS_JiMiHEnDriX asks: What do you think of the "Grunge Era", and did we benift at all from it?
Y_dexter_offspring: Absolutely. You gotta respect Nirvana because they're the ones that made music real again. They knocked Michael Jackson off the charts. And they opened the door for a lot of bands, including us. A lot of kids, after hearing Nirvana, would want to get into Smashing pumpkins, or Henry Rollins, or Pennywise, or even us.


Wilbergris asks: Dexter, what bands did you like as a kid?
Y_dexter_offspring: Oh you know, the usual, Barry Manilow, Sheena easton, Olivia Newton John.


goldencaligirl45 asks: Are you guys having a concert in California soon?????????
Y_dexter_offspring: Well actually we're in San Jose right now, we're playing here tonight. This week is all California shows, we're gonna play Sacramento, LA, and San Diego.


oplax15 asks: would you ever go on Jerry Springer?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only if I get to fight the audience. Actually, we got asked to go on the Ricki Lake show and play. (we said no)


carenj17 asks: What do you guys do on the tour bus?
Y_dexter_offspring: Ron performs ritual sacrfices. Noodles spins plates. Greg K investigates crop circles. And I drive.


naughtybabe6969 asks: did u cry during Titanic
Y_dexter_offspring: Only when Kate Winslet lived.


crash_n_burn87 asks: hey dexter-how come you did a cover of feelings? just for the hell of it?
Y_dexter_offspring: Feelings is a song that needed to be destroyed. We didn't ask permission though, and the guy sued us.


sarco99 asks: Who does the killer artwork on the album cover ?
Y_dexter_offspring: All the artwork was done by Frank Kozik. He's got books and stuff, you should check it out.


Lver6969 asks: if you had to choose one member of the band to eat if you were stranded who would it be?
yahoomusic: and with what condiments?
Y_dexter_offspring: I guess Noodles has the most edible name.


jersy_devil_69 asks: DID YOU INVITE VANILLA ICE TO PERFORM WITH YOU, OR DID HE JUST TURN UP????
Y_dexter_offspring: That guy is stalking us.


Bilbo_Baggins_98 asks: Dexter, do you like Beavis and Butthead?
Y_dexter_offspring: I love Beavis and Butthead. I wish it was still on. Then I wouldn't have to watch the new gay shows they show at 2 a.m. on saturday night. Now I have to watch Showtime at the Apollo.


pizbe asks: what do you think about the return of Blondie?
Y_dexter_offspring: Blondie is rad. I'm glad they did another record.

[Rutegard]

carenj17 asks: Are you bringing Guy Cohen on tour with you?
Y_dexter_offspring: Well actually, Guy (the pretty fly guy in the video) is standing right here. Let him tell you.
Y_dexter_offspring: Guy: wassup homies. keep it real yo. word. stay black.
yahoomusic: right on guy
Y_dexter_offspring: all right. Hey, we've gotta go. We're gonna play in about an hour.
yahoomusic: thanks dexter!
Y_dexter_offspring: I want to tell you guys, though, thanks for checking out this chat tonight. We're stoked that you guys wanted to check it out. We're gonna try to play as many places as we can this year, so hopefully we'll see you in your town. Otherwise, you'll have to come to LA!!! Late.
yahoomusic: thanks for joining in everybody! Be sure to check out the "Beheaded" remix at promotions.yahoo.com/promotions/offspring/audio.html and also the official offspring website www.offspring.com

[Rutegard]

offspring_dexter_live: Hey guys. This is Dexter.
offspring_dexter_live: You know, I logged into our web site and visited our own Offspring chat room
offspring_dexter_live: This was a couple months ago. I logged in as the_real_dexter,
offspring_dexter_live: but no one believed that it was actually me. What do I have to do to convince
offspring_dexter_live: people that it's really me when I log in?

offspring_afi_girl asks: Dexter, in your opinion, what is the all time best punk band?
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to say TSOL.
offspring_dexter_live: The old TSOL though, with Jack singing.


dex_rox_my_blacksox asks: Do you guys get noticed a lot in public places? And if you do, does it ever bother you?
offspring_dexter_live: I don't get noticed a lot since I started wearing a fake beard.
offspring_dexter_live: People sometimes think I"m in ZZ Top, though...


offspring_fan16 asks: Where did Noodles get his nickname from?
offspring_dexter_live: He only ate Top Ramen for like ten years.
offspring_dexter_live: Now he's moved up to Cup O' Noodles.


snowyte77 asks: You played a tiny hometown club a just a couple of weeks before Woodstock, what was the contrast between those two shows like and what is your favorite size venue to play?
offspring_dexter_live: Yeah, we played this little bar by our house a couple weeks ago, 2 days before Woodstock.
offspring_dexter_live: It's wild to play such a small show, then such a big show right after each other.
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to say I like the smaller ones better, except the cops shut us down.


Izabel_Brazil asks: How did you feel being chosen to interview Joey Ramone?
offspring_dexter_live: Joey is awesome. I had a bitchen time interviewing him, he's like an idol to us.


Paradise409 asks: When will Noodles update his "Tour Journal" again?
offspring_dexter_live: Noodles writes entries for a tour journal on our web site. He updates it every couple weeks or so.
offspring_dexter_live: If you want, I'll kick his ass for you and tell him to stop lagging.


iLuvNoodles asks: What action figures did you play with most as a child?
offspring_dexter_live: Hey, with a login name like iLuvNoodles, you've got worse problems than that.


johnny_rockin asks: did you take guitar lessons or have any formal musical training?
offspring_dexter_live: They have this place called GIT, it stands for Guitar Institute.
offspring_dexter_live: It's like this place where if you want to be Eddie Van Halen, or Yngwie Malmsteen,
offspring_dexter_live: then you go there to learn how to play guitar.
offspring_dexter_live: I would like to poop on that place. I hate that crap.


trekool99 asks: If you could have ANY one musician play with the Offspring for one gig, who would it be?
offspring_dexter_live: We've actually been lucky enough to have Jello Biafra from the Dead Kennedys play with us,
offspring_dexter_live: that was totally cool.


Amzed_grl_32 asks: Hey Dexter! I was wondering how you felt about Weird Al's song "pretty fly for a rabbi". Personally , I think it is funny. by the way, I love all of your albums, but especially Ignition.
offspring_dexter_live: That was actually our original version of that song.


offspring_fan16 asks: I heard you were coming out with a live album, is there going to be any older stuff on it?
offspring_dexter_live: You know, we were actually starting on a live album, but we couldn't get it together right now.
offspring_dexter_live: We're really busy touring and all, so we're putting the live album on hold for now.


backstreet07 asks: What do you have against the Backstreet Boys?
offspring_dexter_live: I'll bare my soul.
offspring_dexter_live: Well, I guess it's time I tell the truth.
offspring_dexter_live: The fact is, I'm jealous.
offspring_dexter_live: I wanted to be that guy with the designer sideburns and f***in' gucci sunglasses.
offspring_dexter_live: He stole my mojo.
offspring_dexter_live: Actually, we've heard that N'stink are playing pretty fly at their shows.
offspring_dexter_live: If you see them, please spit on them for us.

[Rutegard]

C_Trickle asks: how do you explain your appeal to the gay community?
offspring_dexter_live: One word: Noodles!


RyanDrummer asks: How long did it take to make your latest video?
offspring_dexter_live: We shot a video for She's Got Issues last weekend. The whole shoot lasted three days.
offspring_dexter_live: I think the video will be done in a couple weeks.


proffsprng asks: Who could win in a fight, You, Noodles, Ron and Greg?
offspring_dexter_live: Oh, that would be Ron for sure.


mad_gregor asks: Hello Dexter, I am from Poland, it's 4am here and I've got very important question for all Polish fans: Are you going to come back to Poland and the second one is: Have you enjoyed the show in Warsaw?
offspring_dexter_live: We're coming to Europe next week, but I don't think we'll make it all the way to Poland.
offspring_dexter_live: We're going to some other close countries though, like Denmark and Germany.
offspring_dexter_live: We had a great time playing in Warsaw, it seemed like people were pretty excited.
offspring_dexter_live: We actually drove almost 24 hours straight from Czechoslovakia to get there,
offspring_dexter_live: so it was rad that kids were so into it, it made it totally worthwhile for us.


CalliLostTheWar asks: Did it hurt when you got hit with that bottle at Woodstock?
offspring_dexter_live: No, actually it felt really good.


Bonzodrums asks: will you play a concert in my basement.. we can make it a cookout
offspring_dexter_live: We used to play concerts in peoples' basements, actually.
offspring_dexter_live: Once we did a show in a basement in Spokane, and we gave out motor oil to girls who would slam.


kiisu14 asks: what was that silver thing on your neck when you were singing WDYGAJ at woodstock?
offspring_dexter_live: That was an electrode.


Daeyah asks: Are you going to be on TRL any time soon?
offspring_dexter_live: I don't think so. We sent the pretty fly guy in our place last time.


whoispaul asks: Dexter, how can you prove right here to all of these fans that it's really you in chat?
offspring_dexter_live: Well, I don't know. Do you want to see my mole or something?
offspring_dexter_live: I guess you'll just have to take my word for it.
offspring_dexter_live: So, I heard we're up to 7000 questions right now since we started.
offspring_dexter_live: I'd have to type really fast to answer all those questions.
offspring_dexter_live: I may not get to everyone, but I'll answer as much as I can.


morninglory72 asks: can i have the shirt you wore last tuesday?
offspring_dexter_live: Yeah, what's your address?


mpsux asks: Will the Pretty Fly be in any more videos
offspring_dexter_live: No, we fired him. He went on to a lucrative acting career.
offspring_dexter_live: Look for him in the next Mentos commercial.


riverfenix182 asks: do you notice that the theme song from buffy the vampire slayer kind of in a way sounds like the kids arent alright?
offspring_dexter_live: No, I never noticed that. Buffy's boss, though.


jefiner8 asks: Who came up with the Roadie for a Day contest?
offspring_dexter_live: Our roadie wanted the day off.


veruca_grl asks: what is the last movie you've seen at the theater? I just saw blair witch it was scary.
offspring_dexter_live: Blair Witch was the last movie I saw.
offspring_dexter_live: That was the scariest fake movie that was supposed to be real i ever saw.


piley_luver asks: Did you guys have any different names for your band before you became the Offspring and if so what were they?
offspring_dexter_live: We considered calling ourselves War Bubbles.


mallory224 asks: What are some musical groups that you listen to right now?
offspring_dexter_live: Ricky Martin. That guy is a genius.


vandal_offspring asks: You and the rest of the Offspring are notorious pyromaniacs ("Burn it Up" and "Hand Grenades," anyone? muahaha) yet you also have pretty good heads on your shoulders. What'd you think of the Woodstock riots?
offspring_dexter_live: Well, we didn't play on that day so I'm not exactly sure.
offspring_dexter_live: I don't think it's fair to just blame the kids, though.
offspring_dexter_live: I think that there were a few assholes around that caused most of the shit.
offspring_dexter_live: But I think there were a lot of problems with the lack of water, no toilets, etc.
offspring_dexter_live: If you treat people like animals, they're going to act like animals.


surfin_bird15 asks: I'm brazilian and i like to know when start the south america tour....when?
offspring_dexter_live: That's kind of up in the air right now, but we're trying to work that out to go later this year.


soakedliver asks: why don't you play DUI
offspring_dexter_live: Wow, soaked_liver, I'm not surprised that DUI would be your favorite song.


bigpop911 asks: Do you watch wrestling?
offspring_dexter_live: No, I watch ultimate fighting.


tiggercando asks: Ricky martin sucks, why do you like his music
offspring_dexter_live: He's got credibility. He started out in Menudo, for god sakes.


Mathiason1 asks: Hey Dexter... I'm 14 and I just started a ska/punk band called "Mr. B and the Illegal Shoes"... whats the best advice you could give an aspiring band?
offspring_dexter_live: Ska's over.


iLuvNoodles asks: What book are you currently reading?
offspring_dexter_live: I'm really into Dr. Seuss right now. Green Eggs and Ham.


dougisgod asks: would you like to mention any famous women you fancy?
offspring_dexter_live: Oprah.


alaskanhuskysleddog asks: Will you sponsor my sled dog team? I'm very serious...you could have your very own "OFFSPRING SLED DOG TEAM!"
offspring_dexter_live: If you're for real, that would be cool. Send us a photo to prove it and we'll sponsor you.


julianromero99 asks: bong hits..yes or no??
offspring_dexter_live: Beer bong, maybe.


Fly4WhiteGuy asks: What do you think about Blink 182's naked approach?
offspring_dexter_live: I think Blink182 is awesome. And naked works for them. I went surfing with them once.


i_eat_noodles asks: why do you make fun of noodles so much?
offspring_dexter_live: I'm not making fun of Noodles. I love Noodles.


chaos_sucks asks: Are you naked right now?
offspring_dexter_live: No, but Blink probably is.


amelialovesyoudex asks: Are there any openings at Nitro Record for a PR Rep? Any Interships?
offspring_dexter_live: Well, yeah, there is. I have a record label called Nitro, and we do spots for interns.
offspring_dexter_live: Check our web site at nitrorecords.com


naomi_rose_17 asks: WOULD U LIKE TO COME AT MY HIGH SCHOOL PROM NEXT YEAR..IT WOULD BE GREAT!!
offspring_dexter_live: You mean like to play or as a guest?


Firestartr9 asks: What's your favorite kind of guitar to use other than Ibanez?
offspring_dexter_live: I like those little plastic ukeleles.


lymabeyeyn asks: Could you please settle a little dispute between me and my friend, I say that at the end of the recorded version of Something To Believe In you laugh, and my friend says it's just guitar, what is it?
offspring_dexter_live: Wow, you guys really do your homework.


magichamster asks: do you answer your fan mail?
offspring_dexter_live: Yeah, I do. As much as I can. Our buddy goes through all our mail and gives me the interesting ones.
offspring_dexter_live: hey guys, I'm sorry but I guess that's it.
offspring_dexter_live: Actually, their computer isn't working properly so I can't stay.
Yahoomc: Hey folks -- Sorry about that
Yahoomc: Dexter's computer crashed and we got wiped out for a few minutes
Yahoomc: Unfortunately, Dexter had to jet
Yahoomc: He was bummed that he didn't get to say goodbye
Yahoomc: Hopefully, we can get him back again soon
Yahoomc: Drive home safely!
Yahoomc: Good Night...

[Rutegard]

you asked it :D

"We get a lot of hate mail from parents of young fans who just object to four-letter words on a record," says Noodles, whose real name is Kevin Wasserman.

"They don't get the content. They don't get the real substance of what the song's about. They just hear (singing out multiple expletives from Bad Habit) and they're horrified that their child may be listening to this."

Bad Habit, a song about drive-by shootings, is part of a body of material that showcases The Offspring's love of sarcasm and irony, venting outrage at a world the band sees as pretty messed up, says Noodles.

[Emily_offspring_fan]

Thanks buddy!

[Rutegard]

"We did a song called Burn It Up which was a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek song about arson -- much in the way Bad Habit was about drive-by shootings," says Noodles.

"We were playing out in this cornfield somewhere in Kansas and these kids come up and they were talking about how great it is to burn things down.

"We were like: `No! No! No! You're not getting it! The song was a joke!'

"And there were people that thought the lyric, `Gotta keep 'em separated' (from Come out and Play) was about race separation; which is absolutely not what it's all about."

[Rutegard]

"We get a lot of letters from parents that are just irate and telling us that we are the genesis of all evil," explains Noodles of Disclaimer.

[Rutegard]

DEXTER:

"Almost every interview I do they ask about the pressure," he says. "I don't know why it's so interesting to people. The natural answer is yes. There is pressure, especially when you've got something going and you want to continue it as much as you can. But you can't do anything about it, except go in and do the best you can. That's what happened. We basically submerged ourself in the studio, didn't see the light of day for a few months, and that was that."

"We used to think, 'Wow, maybe we could get big someday like The Adolescents or even Social Distortion.' To us, that was huge."

"It's been so fashionable lately to write songs about how relationships suck and what a creep you are. I've done that too. But I thought it would be interesting to write songs that were about how rad things are."

[Rutegard]

So how the devil are you, braidy bloke?

"Very well, but busy as shit," Dexter Holland says, laughing.

Yeah, we noticed. You were supposed to call three days ago. So - tee-hee - what's it like being a rock star now?

"Man, I really hate it when people use the word 'star' in connection with us," he sighs. You can sense the cringe even down a phone line. "We're just four guys from the beach who happened to make a record that people liked," Dexter continues. "We were really delighted that anyone else liked it at all, never mind eight million people. The whole thing has been pretty crazy."

The limos, the supermodels, the leigions of adoring fans mobbing you in the streets... It must be hell.

"Yeah, right," he snorts. "I don't get recognised much anyway. People think you won't even be able to go to the grocery store once you sell a few records, but it hasn't been like that at all. I guess I'm just an average looking Joe."

[Rutegard]

I hear you bought a nice new house recently?

Long pause. Hello....

"It's nice to be able to surport yourself," Dexter begins hesitantly, "and it's strange for us to have a home at all after living out of a duffle bag on a tour bus for a year-and-a-half. But... I don't know what to say about that..."

Hey, don't be embarrassed, big guy. Everyone knows you can't sell eight million records without making money.

Longer pause.

"Yeah... Let's talk about something else."

[Rutegard]

From press reports over here, Dexter, the whole thing seemed pretty bitter, what with your old pal Epitaph head honcho Brett Guerwitz threatening to sue you...

"It was pretty bitter, yeah. But..."

But?

"Well, when we agreed to do this interview everyone said you guys didn't want to talk about that stuff..."

Yeah, but we're sneeky like this sometimes. Y'know, gain your trust, then go for the jugular, that sort of thing...

"Ha ha, nice try! No, I'd rather not discuss it, because we feel that'll become the focus of every story. But bitter is about right, yeah."



So any final messages for your devoted British fans, Mr Down To Earth?

"Yeah, stop putting us in 'Gagging for a Shagging'! It's getting embarrassing now.."

[noodle654]

Mine is in my signature...

[Rutegard]

GREG:
"We`ve stayed away from things like talk shows, Lollapalooza and Woodstock", confirms Greg. "It's not like we are trying to stay out of the press, but staying away from a lot of magazine cover's really helped us. Some bands become poster boys."





OKOK i've already stopped lol

[Emily_offspring_fan]

C_Trickle asks: how do you explain your appeal to the gay community?
offspring_dexter_live: One word: Noodles!

:eek: lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rutegard]

:eek: lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

eheheheh yeah...i had the same reaction LOLOL

[i-want-him-only]

MM-HOW DO YOU PICTURE YOUR FUNERAL AND WHAT SONGS DO YOU WANT PLAYED?

Dex- I think I want to be buried. I don't want to be cremated, burned. Even though everyone says it's gross to be buried because you get worms crawling in you and stuff, somehow I don't like the idea of being ashes. I want to be substance so they can dig me up in 200 years to determine if I had some disease or something. I want to make sure a lot of people cry and feel really bad at my funeral. A lot of people say they want it to be a celebration. Fuck that. I want everyone there, I want to know they cared, I want them to cry.
we sure will... :(

[ilovellamas]

I don't like that funeral quote... very selfish.

mpsux asks: Will the Pretty Fly be in any more videos
offspring_dexter_live: No, we fired him. He went on to a lucrative acting career.
offspring_dexter_live: Look for him in the next Mentos commercial.

HAHA I Love that he made fun of Guy!!!


riverfenix182 asks: do you notice that the theme song from buffy the vampire slayer kind of in a way sounds like the kids arent alright?
offspring_dexter_live: No, I never noticed that. Buffy's boss,though.

Dexter just got 5 times cooler for liking buffy!!! <3

Mathiason1 asks: Hey Dexter... I'm 14 and I just started a ska/punk band called "Mr. B and the Illegal Shoes"... whats the best advice you could give an aspiring band?
offspring_dexter_live: Ska's over.

Amazingly true. Again, I love dexter.

alaskanhuskysleddog asks: Will you sponsor my sled dog team? I'm very serious...you could have your very own "OFFSPRING SLED DOG TEAM!"
offspring_dexter_live: If you're for real, that would be cool. Send us a photo to prove it and we'll sponsor you.

That's so awesome that dexter would sponsor things like that...

[clocks_R_slow]

i loved them all

[Rutegard]

I don't like that funeral quote... very selfish.

i don't think it's selfish, i think you must understand the irony in it, i mean, i'm sure dexter does not really want people to feel really bad for his death, he was just kidding, but i'm pretty sure that he does not want it to be a celebrating thing as well...and that's the point!

he explained himself pretty well

i totally agree with him

[Sasoolero]

i don't think it's selfish, i think you must understand the irony in it, i mean, i'm sure dexter does not really want people to feel really bad for his death, he was just kidding, but i'm pretty sure that he does not want it to be a celebrating thing as well...and that's the point!

he explained himself pretty well

i totally agree with him
i agree too

[Emily_offspring_fan]

I red it yesterday and thought a lot about Dexter in chats.

My favorite questions were:

blue_914 asks: what inspired u to make "pretty fly 4 a white guy"?
Y_dexter_offspring: Computer geeks like you


Poor guy

KrissyLostTheWar asks: Settle a dispute for me, was the original name of the band "Manic Subsidals" or "Maniac Suicidals"?
Y_dexter_offspring: It was Manic Subsidal. We changed because no one knew what the hell we were talking about. p.s. I like that name, Krissy.


"Krissy". Stupid girl. She didn't even know the old name of The Offspring! It's not that difficult. :p

Dexie_Holland asks: Who came up with the guitar riff at the beginning of Genocide? It reminds me of the beginning of "Planet Earth" by Duran Duran.
Y_dexter_offspring: You know, it's time to come clean. Duran Duran were our only musical influence. Apparently, though, we couldn't fool you.


:D

Matt_99_dude asks: What do u think of groups like KORN, BSB, Limp bizkit, 98degrees, & NSYNC?
Y_dexter_offspring: I don't really think you can lump together Korn and Limp Bizkit with the others. I like Korn and Limp Bizkit.


Yeah, dude, you can't compare KORN and Limp Bizkit with Backstreet boys!

PerplexyChick311 asks: don't you feel that "Pretty Fly" was offensive and stereotypical?
Y_dexter_offspring: Maybe you should ask yourself why you feel offended and stereotyped.


Good answer!

VainComplexity asks: Don't you feel that idiots that don't try to understand your music shouldn't ask questions?
Y_dexter_offspring: Only people as cool as you should listen to us, is that right?


Hah, that remember me a lot of persons!

iLuvNoodles asks: What action figures did you play with most as a child?
offspring_dexter_live: Hey, with a login name like iLuvNoodles, you've got worse problems than that.


lol :D but..what's the problem??

mallory224 asks: What are some musical groups that you listen to right now?
offspring_dexter_live: Ricky Martin. That guy is a genius
tiggercando asks: Ricky martin sucks, why do you like his music
offspring_dexter_live: He's got credibility. He started out in Menudo, for god sakes


Ricky Martin...that "Tiggercando" guy didn't know what's sarcastic.

Mathiason1 asks: Hey Dexter... I'm 14 and I just started a ska/punk band called "Mr. B and the Illegal Shoes"... whats the best advice you could give an aspiring band?
offspring_dexter_live: Ska's over.


Again, poor guy. You're very friendly Dex.

naughtybabe6969 asks: did u cry during Titanic
Y_dexter_offspring: Only when Kate Winslet lived.

TOTALLY RIGHT!!


And the funeral quote, you're right guys it was very selfish. But I don't care because I admire Dex. Nothing will make me change my opinion.

[Rutegard]

Again, poor guy. You're very friendly Dex.



And the funeral quote, you're right guys it was very selfish. But I don't care because I admire Dex. Nothing will make me change my opinion.


Well,yeah dex was kinda direct on "ska's over"....i think the guy started to cry LOL


and i said it before and i will say it again IF YOU COULD JUST LISTEN THEN IT MIGHT MAKE SENSE LOL and dex wasn't AT ALL being selfish...man that's the true....you probably know by now that dex has a particular sense of humor...ya know?...it's the way he is and actually i don't see any problem on his answer but that's ok..that's my opinion...

[ilovellamas]

I know dex is very sarcastic... doesn't sound at all sarcastic to me, though, especially when he says "I want to know they cared".

[Emily_offspring_fan]

Well,yeah dex was kinda direct on "ska's over"....i think the guy started to cry LOL


and i said it before and i will say it again IF YOU COULD JUST LISTEN THEN IT MIGHT MAKE SENSE LOL and dex wasn't AT ALL being selfish...man that's the true....you probably know by now that dex has a particular sense of humor...ya know?...it's the way he is and actually i don't see any problem on his answer but that's ok..that's my opinion...

Ok, Rut, ok, I believe you. Maybe you're right, Dex's sense of humor can surprise us.

[NMHFBD]

MM- CAN YOU URINATE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON?

Dex - No! I've got that problem. Stage fright. Isn't that terrible? It depends. You know, when you're drinking, you have to go most of all. It usually doesn't hit me until the third beer and then I have to go every 15 minutes. But by the fifth beer I can go, and by the time you get to the seventh beer I can go in the middle of the room. I don't care anymore.


MM-HOW DO YOU PICTURE YOUR FUNERAL AND WHAT SONGS DO YOU WANT PLAYED?

Dex- I think I want to be buried. I don't want to be cremated, burned. Even though everyone says it's gross to be buried because you get worms crawling in you and stuff, somehow I don't like the idea of being ashes. I want to be substance so they can dig me up in 200 years to determine if I had some disease or something. I want to make sure a lot of people cry and feel really bad at my funeral. A lot of people say they want it to be a celebration. Fuck that. I want everyone there, I want to know they cared, I want them to cry.

could you post the whole interview please?

[Autonomist]

Yeah, you're all right. It's very selfish of someone to want people to mourn when they die.

[Rutegard]

I know dex is very sarcastic... doesn't sound at all sarcastic to me, though, especially when he says "I want to know they cared".

and if he said "i want to know they cared" with a smile in his face....does that change a thing?

[Rutegard]

October 23rd, 1999.
HE THINKS HE'S UGLY. HE KNOWS HE'S RICH. AND HE'LL HAPPILLY TAKE A PISS IN YOUR PRESENCE. ON THE COUCH, DEX!

MM- WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO GO INTO A SLAUGHTERHOUSE AND KILL A COW?

Dex- I'm not a vegetarian and I don't have a problem eating animals, but I don't think I could do the killing. I like animals. We have four dogs and three cats, so you get used to having animals around. I've never been hunting. I've shot soda cans and stuff like that with real guns - you can see how easy it is here to get them. It was my uncle who took me, actually, he used to go hunting, but he was such a poor shot, he could never shot anything. He was trying to shoot at this rabbit once and he finally actually got it, but he felt so terrible that he could never shoot anything again. I think that's probably how I would feel.

MM- IF THERE WAS A PUBLIC EXECUTION ON TV, WOULD YOU WATCH IT?

Dex- Yes. For some reason I watch 'Jerry Springer', the morbid curiosity. It's terrible. But I admit that I have that weakness in human nature that we're drown to stuff that's going to gross us out. I bought this video called 'Banned From Television' and some of it is just awful. People getting hit by cars and an elephant on stampede and they show those bull runs in Pamplona. This lady was protesting and this bull just tore her to pieces. The worse bit was at the end. This lady was running across the train track and she didn't look the right way and got hit by a train. Ugggh. I'll send it to you.

MM- DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF RICH?

Dex- Well, it's a relative word. I'm rich in friends. OK, yeah, I am. Noodles was a janitor in the past. He's definitely increased his bank balance. But we all had to make sacrifices. He had a bright future in the custodial arts. I actually want us to get jobs. Maybe it's part of me that wants to stay grounded in a crazy life style. That would be a good way to do it. Remember the guy from 'TAXI' who played Latka? He kept a bus boy job the entire time. He just liked that side of it.

MM-DO YOU HAVE ANY AMBITIONS?

Dex- I want to start smoking pot. So then I won't have any ambitions.

MM- DO YOU WORRY ABOUT GROWING OLD?

Dex- A couple of years ago, I was thinking, 'you're 30 now, you're 10 years older that most of your audience', and we went to do some festivals in Europe and it's amazing. You get back up there, first song, bam, you're 18 again! I don't think you ever get too old for that mindset. I guess there is stuff you can't talk about. Like go onstage and say, 'What did you guys do with you taxes this year? Have you heard about this great new vehicle.'

MM-HOW DO YOU PICTURE YOUR FUNERAL AND WHAT SONGS DO YOU WANT PLAYED?

Dex- I think I want to be buried. I don't want to be cremated, burned. Even though everyone says it's gross to be buried because you get worms crawling in you and stuff, somehow I don't like the idea of being ashes. I want to be substance so they can dig me up in 200 years to determine if I had some disease or something. I want to make sure a lot of people cry and feel really bad at my funeral. A lot of people say they want it to be a celebration. Fuck that. I want everyone there, I want to know they cared, I want them to cry.

MM- WOULD YOU ACCEPT A MILLION DOLLARS TO LEAVE YOUR HOME COUNTRY FOREVER?

Dex- No. There's something about the place you grow up or the country you live in. That's one of the great things about being in a free country.

MM- CAN YOU URINATE IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON?

Dex - No! I've got that problem. Stage fright. Isn't that terrible? It depends. You know, when you're drinking, you have to go most of all. It usually doesn't hit me until the third beer and then I have to go every 15 minutes. But by the fifth beer I can go, and by the time you get to the seventh beer I can go in the middle of the room. I don't care anymore.

MM- WHAT ARE YOUR MOST COMPULSIVE HABITS?

Dex- My vices are probably my most compulsive habits. Caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I'm not really into drugs or anything, but I like a good beer and a good smoke and watching a band at a club. I can be pretty compulsive about that. I don't smoke that much, so when I smoke it tends to be a chain event. All or nothing!

MM-RELATIVE TO THE POPULATION, HOW DO YOU RATE YOUR PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS, YOUR INTELLIGENCE, YOUR PRESONALITY?

Dex- Wow! I feel like I'm on a job interview. Well with attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 10 I put myself at a 2. I don't think of myself in that way. People that are hung up on those kinds of things are pretty shallow generally. Intelligence? Maybe a 6. Personality? Of course a 10!

[Rutegard]

here's another thing i find kinda funny eheh


Holland, for instance, nurtures a perverse interest in entry-level employment. He's applying for a job at McDonald's. "I think it would be a great experience," he says, seriously. He rifles through some papers and finds the application form, partially filled out. Next to name, hand-printed block letters say "Dexter Dufresne"--a fake surname. At ARE YOU 18 OR OLDER? it reads "Yes." ARE YOU LEGALLY ABLE TO BE EMPLOYED IN THE U.S.? "Yes." TWO MOST RECENT JOBS: "Rock Star," says Noodles, laughing, "and Student."

[Rutegard]

He may be dumb, but he's not a dweeb. Bryan "Dexter" Holland strides manfully to the edge of a New York City stage, and--holding two cans of beer--launches himself onto a sea of hands. His goal: to carry said beverages back over the thirsty-looking crowd and deliver them to the band's soundman some 20 yards away. "I'd done it before," the Offspring's 32-year-old singer says later. "But this was going to be the record for distance."

Barely ten feet into the crowd, the horizontal Holland loses the beers--seized and guzzled by fans. Then he loses his shoes. Then his socks. Then he simply disappears, leaving his bespectacled aide-de-camp, guitarist Kevin "Noodles" Wasserman, squinting out from the stage. After a good five minutes--"It was definitely the record for time," Noodles reports--Holland reemerges from the club's antechambers, barefoot.

"That'll teach me to try that with a New York crowd," he yells.


"You know what?" Holland tells the crowd. "I hate the Backstreet Boys!"


He finishes his routine with a statement of rockist affiliation--a stagedive--leaving fans to wonder whether they've just witnessed a retrenchment of rock values, some new multiculti youthcool, or both. "Thank you, New York," says Holland after the encore. "Now where are my fucking shoes?"

[Rutegard]

FLUX: Word has it that you’re in the process of getting a Ph.D. in microbiology at the University of Southern California. True?

HOLLAND: I’ve taken a leave of absence. Originally, this band was a side project, something that was fun to do - but it’s turned into more than that. The important thing about this is not to let anyone write your ticket. People in school look at me and say, "I can’t believe you’re in a band," and the guys in the band say, "I can’t believe you’re in school." You don’t have to limit yourself to one thing or be different from anything you want to be.

[Rutegard]

Flipside Interview
This interview was published in the fanzine, Flipside in 1989, just before the self-titled album was originally released. This is the oldest interview of The Offspring I have ever seen. Kirk and Lance are interviewers, Brian is Dexter, Kevin is Noodles.

I know It's not a good attitude, but I seem to approach every band with an, "Oh, man these guys are gonna suck" notion. Thus, making it really difficult to impress me. Surprisingly enough, the Offspring are one of the few bands (especially local) that have been able to permanently engrave their existance on the tip of my mind.

First came their landmark 7" "I'll be Waiting" b/w "Blackball" (1986 Black Label Records) with its raunchy and stripped recording. Their presentation of "punk rock" is paralleled by few. Highly structured, guitar wailing rock 'n' roll with power vigorousness and (a much needed at the time) energy abundance. Lyrics, startling enough, deal with honest emotions towards social issues and heart felt topics as well.

Next came their four song demo "Tehran" (1987), perhaps the straw that broke the camel's back. Nothing left to prove, Kevin's guitar ability had surpassed the expected. Brian's vocal's became vocals and the band, as a whole, had not only become a four man run wrecking crew, but they also each found thier place in the... Offspring

Brian, 23: guitar and vocals

Kevin, 26: guitar

Greg, 24: bass

Ron, 18: drums

Kirk: How long has the band been together?

Brian: ...Four, almost five years now.

Kirk: Where you called the Offspring before, Kevin?

Brian: um, we weren't the Offspring.

Kevin: We were the "Maniac Suicidals."

Brian: No one could get it straight. We had to change it.

Kirk: So, Kevin joined. You changed the name?

Brian: We were being the Maniac Suicidal band for a long time. We did a demo and were booked on Media Blitz and we thought this would be a good time to change and we picked a name. We came up with it really on the spur of the moment. We were there, we taped it, and we were sitting down for the interview and he said, "O.K., what am I going to call you guys." "...oh, Offspring, I guess?!" Well, at least it doesn't like...

Kirk: Death Squad or something.

Kevin: Yeah, there are no initials involved, so that's cool.

Kirk: Ron, how did you come in?

Kevin: He talked us into kicking out our old drummer! He was pretty funny, but he couldn't play drums very good. So, Ron says, "You know, you guys should get rid of him; he's not very good!"

Ron: No!
Brian: He just talked us into it. Seriously, he's just afraid James is gonna kick his ass when he finds out the truth.

Kirk: What made you do the single?

Kevin: Brian! Brian made us do it.

Brian: I've made 'em do everything. It was time. We've done a demo.

Kirk: You did a demo before the single?

Kevin: We would record songs just to see what they sounded like. Then we decided to send them out to people--college radio stations. People actually liked it.

Brian: Looking back, it was pretty terrible.

Kirk: Now you're an accomplished studio...

Kevin: No, now we just realize how bad we are.

Kirk: Did you get good reviews with it?

Brian: Yeah.

Greg: "Too much like Jack (T.S.O.L.) though"...

Kirk: I noticed from the single to the tape, the sound was polished up. Was that on purpose?

Brian: I guess so. It's like we were getting better, our studio was getting better. We should probably mention names--South Coast Studios. I actually wasn't very happy with the sound of the 45.

Kirk: So now you're recording for an album?

Brian: Yeah, should be out at the end of the month, probably.

Kevin: That month will be January 1992. It will probably be July.

Kirk: Same studio? Sound?
Kevin: Probably, it will be beefier. We've got new equipment, doing different things.

Brian: We used to go in... Someone would lay down a drum track, we're not sure who. Then someone would go do a bass. We never kept track of who did that. We would do it all seperately. This time we had the rhythm guitar, and the bass and drums all together, the way I've always liked to do it.

Ron: Its not going to sound slick or anything but, it'll be clean I guess. We want it to sound like a Madonna record.

Lance: Who's helping out with the money?

Kevin: We have someone who is going to pay fot the recording, pressing, and distribution, but as far as the recording, it's all up to us.

Kirk: How old are the songs going on the record?

Kevin: Gosh, some of them are a couple of minutes long, new.

Brian: Wait a minute, did you mean, how old are the?

Kirk: Yeah, old.

Brian: A couple of minutes!

Kevin: Seriously, we made up a couple of them on the spot. But, some of them... like "I'll be Waiting" and "Black Ball" (off the first single, 1986).

Ron: All the stuff off the demo and the 45.

Kirk: Lyrics... who writes them?
Kevin: Brian

Kirk: Some of them are politcal some... sentimental. What motivates you?

Greg: When he breaks up with his girlfriend...

Kevin: When George Bush got elected president, he started writing all these love songs. He got real depressed.

Brian: Well, I just write about whatever. I don't like bands that come out and say, "We really stand for something." and look, "Here we are." I say it and if you want to get into it and try to get some meaning out 'em; fine.

Kevin: As far as political bands go, I think it's cool. But its like we played with Fidelity Jone which is ex. Beefeater. Tomas gets up there and he's slapping everybody in the face. I mean I stand for a lot of what he believes in, but when he's up there preaching... so much... holier than thou... they've got real severe attitudes. As far as the music goes..they're great if they do anything. I'm definately going to get it; even though I kinda have an adversion to Tomas' bullshit.

Lance: Music is more important to you than the lyrics, isn't it?

Kevin: Music can make or break a song. You gotta take it as a whole.

[Rutegard]

Greg: Jello wrote us a letter. He just got back from Canada doing some acting. He was happy to see we were doing an album. Then he said something about Lard isn't a band.

Brian: I had a feeling it wasn't. Yeah, we like to rub elbows with big punk rock stars.

Kirk: So, how's the club scene here for you guys?

Brian: We haven't really played clubs too much. We just came along late or something. They put us on hardcore bills and people just don't know what to make of us. Like, we played on the spur of the moment at Night Movies with a 60's band called Love In. We came on and everyone left! We really emptied that place out. They said they were going to black list us!

Kevin: We got more into people's faces too. We don't push ourselves enough. We're just kinda... "A show, Oh, O.K. We'll play." We get a couple of practices and we do it!

Kirk: So, you're not going to be able to tour after the album comes out?!

Brain: Yeah.

Kevin: We have no problems getting shows outside of L.A. We were out there in Phoenix; people liked us.

Ron: ...St. George, Utah?

Brain: That was our best show! You got to get out in the boondocks for the best shows.

Ron: That was the first time I'd played with them. I had a whole three or four days to learn the whole set. I had all these notes written on how to play the songs. I was flipping through them after each song.

Kirk: What are those scars from?

Ron: I went to Jane's Addiction in Mexico. My friends came up from behind and threw me up on top of everyone. The bouncers started hitting me in the face and choking me. The policeman knew I'd been kicked out. He let me back in. I was thinking,"Hey wait a minute, How much to I have to give you?"

Kirk: What are some local bands you like?

Kevin: I get into a record store and I can't remember what records I want to get. I like Jane's Addiction. The guitar play is really good. I like Babes From Toyland. They're from Minneapolis. I like a lot of Berkley bands; we play up there a lot. I like Op. Ivy. The're a good band. Sewer Trout's great. They do "Que Sera, Sera."

Brian: Greg likes Social Distortion a lot. I like Thelonious Monster a lot.

Ron: The Red Hot Chili Peppers are my favorite band.

(Conversation goes on to Kevin's "accident")

Kevin: It's all bullshit. Bullshit.

Ron: Well its better than... These two old ladys grabbed me...

Kevin: It wasn't two, it was six, and they were big! Pushing carts, big purses, blue hair. They pulled out a knife and I was stabbed by skinhead old ladies with blue wigs!

Lance: Are you out for vengence?

Kevin: Fuck no. It was stupid. The only thing that pissed me off was that it was a benefit for Sane Freeze and there was this nice girl, Barbara, working the door. These guys grabbed her breasts and hit her. They didn't know what they were doing. That's what was sad.

Kirk: Not planned violence?

Kevin: Well, at the last moment it was planned violence. "O.K., two songs after Final Conflict starts, we'll bust down the door!" So they did that. One guy got the shit beat outof him; blood all over his face. The other guy... Well, I thought it was a fight. I was going to break it up. Then we moved the table to block the door. One guy jumped in and hit me. I didn't know he cut me. I thought he just hit me with a pipe or something. I raised my hands and said, "It's over." The guy with a bloody face got in my face going, "Argh, argh." It was no big deal. It was kinda fun.

Brian: Kevin walked back in and saw his jacket.

Kevin: I had my leather jacket on and my arm was hurting. I took off my jacket to see what was up and I had on a white T-shirt. There was blood everywhere. I just go, "Oh fuckin' great." We lifted it up... it's pulsating blood. This guy turns my head saying, "Don't look at it!" I was so buzzed, it didn't matter.

Ron: We were all laughing, "So Kevin's on the curb bleeding."

Kevin: The main thing that pissed me off is that I had to go to a preliminary trial. To be completely honest, I could not recognize the guy. He was wearing the same jacket. He had grown his hair out. He had a beard. But he knew it was him. I mean, he looked at me with his eyes saying, "oooh, I'm sorry." His mom was in the back crying.

Kirk: So, does that type of stuff happen all the time?

Kevin: Old ladies beating us up? Pretty much!
Brian: Do you want to tell Flipside about your new bundle of joy? (Everyone) Oh God.

Kevin: I got a new dog. I'm having a child.

Ron: With my sister!

Kevin: Yeah, I knocked up our drummer's sister. Now we're getting along fabulously.

Brian: Now we're a skate band; we were going to be a motorcycle band, but...

Kirk: No one has a motorcycle...

Brian: I have a motorcycle, but it's a little 400... kinda stupid. We rode it out on stage once. Ron's girlfriend took a chainsaw to it.

Brian: Let's talk about Ron being the spiritual guru of the band!

Ron: Oh, God, Brian's always making this stuff up saying I write all the songs.

Kirk: Brian, why do you only play guitar on half the songs?

Brian: I don't know? A lot of them don't really need it, you know? We tried to be not just a guitar band. A lot of stuff has two different guitar things going on at once. We should do more stuff like that.

Kevin: We never talk about my glasses; they're cool! We talk about Greg's penis, we can talk about my glasses.

Ron: Really fuckin' big man.

Brian: Yeah, just for the record, Greg has the biggest penis in the band. It's 7 1/4". We all got drunk and...

[Emily_offspring_fan]

OMG...I think I prefer staying here with the computer reading the interviews and listening "It'll be a long time" instead of going to my room to doing all my homework to tomorrow. OOPS! :p
when I finish I'll tell my fav questions right?

[Amazed]

riverfenix182 asks: do you notice that the theme song from buffy the vampire slayer kind of in a way sounds like the kids arent alright?
offspring_dexter_live: No, I never noticed that. Buffy's boss,though.

Dexter just got 5 times cooler for liking buffy!!! <3

Pure awesomeness :)

[Emily_offspring_fan]

MM-DO YOU HAVE ANY AMBITIONS?
Dex- I want to start smoking pot. So then I won't have any ambitions.

Now he is obviously being sarcastic.

MM- WHAT ARE YOUR MOST COMPULSIVE HABITS?
Dex- My vices are probably my most compulsive habits. Caffeine, nicotine and alcohol. I'm not really into drugs or anything, but I like a good beer and a good smoke and watching a band at a club. I can be pretty compulsive about that. I don't smoke that much, so when I smoke it tends to be a chain event. All or nothing!

All or nothing! ha, I really